VHS Retro Art Round-up: Cyborg 2, Starknight, Demonwarp and more
Every child of the 80s will remember going to the video store and trying to find a movie to rent. Back before the days of Blu-ray and On Demand, selecting a movie usually meant finding the flick with the coolest box art. Like modern posters, classic VHS art has been lost but thanks to the Internet there are countless reminders of these cool creations. This column will be dedicated to bringing you reminders of a bygone era and a look at how cool some of these movies looked on store shelves.
Which of these covers is more disturbing? The one with the woman with an axe in her cleavage or the one where a bloody guy is leaning next to her, holding her hand? I vote for the second, but both present a movie I would be intrigued to check out. Click here to purchase on Amazon.com.
SUPER MARIO BROS.
I have a soft spot for this awful Nintendo adaptation. While it shares very little in common with the source material, I like the batshit crazy world of the movie like I enjoy MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. The second cover is the commonly seen US art while the first is a cooler international take on the film. Click here to purchase on Amazon.com
Despite getting fifth billing in the credits, somehow Jack Palance is front and center on the box art. This looks like a geriatric version of THE TERMINATOR rather than a sequel to the equally misleading Jean Claude Van Damme movie. In either case, I skipped this movie for years but now I am intrigued to see if Palance does any post-apocalyptic push-ups. Click here to purchase on Amazon.com
Klaus Kinski is one f*cked up motherf*cker, pardon my French. From CRAWLSPACE to AGUIRRE, the guy is never normal. Still, I have never heard of STARKNIGHT. With a title that cool and two badass boxes, how can it be awful?. Not available Click here to purchase on Amazon.com
One cover has George Kennedy's giant floating head while the others have a guy orgasming while wearing dynamite and a chick in a bikini. For some reason, I prefer the George Kennedy cover. Click here to purchase on Amazon.com
Another Jack Palance movie! Only this time, it also features Tim Matheson and Charlton Heston. How are none of them on either box? I mean, even in the early 90s those guys were still recognizable names. This movie must be awful. Still, I dig the 2001-esque space station design. Click here to purchase on Amazon.com.
Feel free to pop us your favorite VHS box art and come back for each future column. You can send your finds or photos of your own VHS tapes to email@example.com