Hasbro talks shop

I’m not going to mince words here, I think this newfound concept of adapting children’s toys into video games is the worst thing to happen to the movie industry in years. No, not “you know, if they do it right, there’s potential there,” not “if they get the right people on it,” not any of that. It’s just terribly lazy filmmaking, and it’s sucking up cash from more worthy projects (like superhero sequels!).

But because the TRANSFORMERS series has plundered the world of cash, now everything you’ve ever touched as a child is being turned into a film, and who’s reaping the benefit? That would be Hasbro, who has a massive slate of licensed movies coming out in the future with concepts ranging from eye-rolling to flat-out insane. Collider recently caught up with Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, and he talked briefly about each of the upcoming projects. See if he does anything to change your mind.

On Ridley Scott’s MONOPOLY:

“Monopoly” has this wonderful history. If you’ll remember, “Monopoly” was literally invented at The [Great] Depression, so that idea, this fiction that’s really there, this non-fiction fiction that’s really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families.”

On CANDY LAND:

“Well, “Candy Land” is not just about the board game. If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board. It’s an adventure game so think of that as the beginning point and take off from there.

On BATTLESHIP:

“Oh, I’m not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it’s everything you could imagine in a “Battleship” movie. It’s really a phenomenal idea.”

On STRETCH ARMSTRONG:

“Stretching as a superpower brings a lot of humor to the idea so imagine a big humorous super-powered, super-human kind of movie.”

This isn’t a “C’mon Hollywood” column so I won’t rant any further. I’ll leave that to you instead.