PLOT: Two train stewardess BFFs switch from a dull railway to the luxurious Glamazonian Express. During a massive storm, they must work with snooty first-class crew and President Gagwell to prevent disaster in LA.
REVIEW: There was a time when spoof movies were a reliable part of the movie-going diet. Then they became less about jokes and more about pointing at pop culture references and hoping recognition would do the work (are Friedberg and Seltzer still around). The recent Scary Movie had its moments, but we found it a tad lame because it tried too hard to offend and forgot to be consistently funny. One of the better spoof surprises of late was Fackham Hall, which understood the rhythm of this kind of comedy. So maybe it shouldn’t be a shock that Bleecker Street’s latest Stop! That! Train! knows how to keep a spoof locomotive moving.
And yes, this flick is very, very gay. Proudly gay. As someone living in South Carolina, I can safely say the only people likely to be offended are the same ones I see complaining about drag brunches. If that sounds like a problem, this is probably not your train. For everyone else, Stop! That! Train! is a hell of a fun time. It’s stupid, it knows it’s stupid, and everyone fully commits to the bit.
The setup is simple, but the important thing is that there actually is one. Tess (Ginger Minj) and DeeDee (Jujubee) are best friends and train attendants who get a chance to move from the Stank Rail to the fancier Glamazonian Express. Naturally, things go horribly wrong once a massive storm, Stormaganza, puts the train, its passengers, and possibly Celebration, Florida in danger. That’s all the plot this movie needs, but having a real narrative gives the comedy enough structure that it doesn’t feel like a series of bland sketches stitched together. Sorry, not sorry, Scary Movie.
The clearest inspiration here is classic spoof comedy, especially Airplane!. You’ve got sight gags, background jokes, absurd names, throwaway lines, musical numbers, and even a nun. The movie is constantly throwing jokes at the screen, and like most comedies working at this speed, not all of them land. Some gags only got a mild chuckle, and a few bits overstay their welcome. But then something so dumb and perfectly timed would make me laugh out loud.
What helps is that Stop! That! Train! is more interested in having a good time rather than shock value. It isn’t trying to prove how edgy it can be every thirty seconds. The humor is big, silly, proudly ridiculous, and built all around performance. Sometimes it’s a visual gag. Sometimes it’s a background line. Sometimes it’s just the way someone says something with complete seriousness while the movie around them has fully lost its mind.
The RuPaul’s Drag Race connection is obviously a huge part of the appeal, but the movie doesn’t feel like homework for fans of the show. Longtime viewers will get an extra kick out of seeing Ginger Minj, Jujubee, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Symone, Marcia Marcia Marcia, Latrice Royale, Monét X Change, Michelle Visage, and RuPaul in this ridiculous disaster movie universe. But it uses that world as a comic language, not just a checklist of references. The shade, the confidence, the competitive first-class queens, the names…it’s all very Drag Race, but it serves the movie.
Ginger Minj and Jujubee are the heart of the film as Tess and DeeDee. Their friendship is genuinely charming, and there were times where they reminded me of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, or more recently, Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar. They have that same lovable, slightly clueless, ride or die energy that makes the silliness work better than it probably should. You actually like spending time with them, which matters here.
Their rivals, Amber, Allie, and Ayshleiygh (you read that right), basically play like the A-Group if we’re sticking with the Romy and Michele comparison. Brooke Lynn Hytes, Marcia Marcia Marcia (credited here as Marty Lauter), and Symone know exactly what movie they’re in, playing the snobbery big and loud without flattening the joke. RuPaul is also having a blast as President Judy Gagwell, treating that casting like the it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Brian Jordan Alvarez also works as Cal, the co-conductor. He brings a different comic rhythm without taking focus away from Tess and DeeDee, and stands out by playing Cal with just the right amount of male bimbo charm and sincerity.
The cameos, and holy hell are there a lot of them, are also part of the fun, but they don’t take over the movie. Sarah Michelle Gellar gets the best running gag and makes the most of every second, while Chris Parnell’s drug-addict conductor got the biggest laugh from me. It’s dumb on paper, it all is, but Parnell makes it work because the dude is a damn treasure.
Director Adam Shankman (Hairspray) keeps the pace moving, and even when the movie misses, it usually recovers fast enough that you don’t have much time to care. The budget most definitely shows in places, and the disaster movie side of the spoof doesn’t always have the scale it wants, but that cheapness also becomes part of the charm.
Stop! That! Train! is not some new comedy classic, and it definitely has jokes that clank around longer than they should. But it’s also a colorful, ridiculous, good-hearted R-rated spoof that understands the assignment better than most recent attempts. By the end, Tess and DeeDee had won me over enough that I’d gladly punch a ticket for another ride.
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