Last Updated on August 5, 2021
Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.
The Defendant
Oliver Stone
The Case
The Prosecution: Alexander, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, W., Savages*
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, we’re going to switch up this week by throwing a director on trial, ala Tim Burton. Going through all the suggestions, Mr. Stone’s name popped out and looking through the evidence, the prosecution hopes to sway the jury into a conviction. Has Mr. Stone given us
solid movies? Sure. Do you get good mileage out of racehorse? Sure. But eventually that horse loses its speed, endurance and brains when you take him out back and
put him out of his misery (sorry, spoiler alert). Where did it all turn for Mr. Stone? Was it the abysmal Alexander? Was it his foray into politics? Or bringing back one of the greatest love to hate villains for a second round and giving us a lite, watered down version of said character? In any event, the prosecution moves
for a conviction. Lock him up for a few years, then let’s see what he comes up with.
The Defense: Wall Street, Platoon, Born on the Fourth of July, World Trade Center, JFK, Natural Born Killers, Talk Radio*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, the prosectution wants to shoot horses. Simple as that. You know who else shoots horses? Terrorists, that’s who. How can we take
this trial seriously with an analogy like that? So Mr. Stone has political views and expresses them via his own artistic medium, big deal. It’s not like he’s the
first. What do you expect from the guy who’s made politically based movies for the majority of his career? Without that passion for politics, movies like Born on
the Fourth of July, Wall Street and Platoon wouldn’t have the same kind of edge. Has Mr. Stone’s most recent fare been up to the standards of some
of the aforementioned flicks? No, but with such a long career as his, what director has? The man is not only an accomplished directors with some of the best movies
of the last 25 years, but he’s also a helluva a screenwriter in his own right, not
just on his own movies, but on films like Midnight Express and Scarface. The man has proven himself time and time again, and if he hits a bump in the
road, he should be allowed time to get his shit together and rock the casbah once again.
IN CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with Mr. Oliver Stone? Do his policital views making its way into his films bother the court that much? Should he concentrate
on putting together solid movies rather than trying to make some kind of point? On the other hand, the man has made some of the best of movies of the 1980s and owned
a good part of the 90s, but is that enough?
And the
most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into
consideration, we ask
you The Jury, is John Travolta GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK’S VERDICT
It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing
last week’s evidence, the court finds Mr. John Travolta
NOT GUILTY of all charges. The jury was sequestered for 92 hours, 82 of which was spent playing Madden 2013 and eating potato skins. But at the end of the
day, Mr. Travolta’s innocence was proven by the smallest of margins, citing his previous hits outweighting his recent duds….but just barely. Meaning that Movie Jail
authorities will be keeping a close eye on Mr. Travolta and his dimple chinned nonsense.
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