RA: Kickboxer

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

KICKBOXER(1989)

Rating: 3 on 4 /

Buy the DVD here

Tag Line: If your enemy refuses to be humbled…destroy him!

Directed by Mark DiSalle, David Worth

Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Alexio, Dennis Chan, Michel Qissi

THE PLAN: When an American kickboxing champ gets paralyzed in the ring by the unstoppable Thai fighter Tong Po, the American’s brother (JCVD) vowes revenge – by training in the martial art of Muay Thai for the ultimate fighting championship.

THE KILL: Jean-Claude Van Damme busted out on the scene in the late 80s doing what he does best: kickin’ ass and doing the splits. When BLOODSPORT (check out that RA HERE) came out, American audiences were introduced to the man we’ve come to know as The Muscles From Brussels – and for good reason, too! So what does the man do after hitting it big playing an American in a foreign fighting tournament? He stars in another movie where he plays an American in a foreign fighting tournament – this time, it’s Muy Thai kickboxing!

What sets KICKBOXER apart from BLOODSPORT is this: in BLOODSPORT, Van Damme kicked ass from the beginning. In KICKBOXER, Van Damme essentially starts out as a regular guy who trains to be the ultimate ass-kicker. Most the film is dedicated to the training of Van Damme, and you know what… it works! It’ll makes you want to run out and join your local Muy Thai dojo! For that reason alone, KICKBOXER sits high and mighty as an entertaining martial arts flick.

I’ve always inspired to try this move…

But there’s more than just fighting and training that makes this one a winner. Dennis Alexio plays the American kickboxing champ and Van Damme’s brother, rockin’ a sweet curly haired mullet and a pencil-thin mustache. Seriously, a pencil-thin mustache! He’s bulging with muscles – unfortunately for him, he’s showing those muscles off in a wheel chair for half the movie – but make no mistake, the guy can still kick ass sitting down!

The badass Asain mafia, the ones responsible for the underground kickboxing tournament, also deserves a mention, as they’re all around evilness will make you want to hurt (no – kill) them. But who’s the badass of them all? The film’s ultimate villain, kickboxing master Tong Po! Po is how all karate film villains should be like. Drop dead ugly, strong as a bull, and utterly unstoppable. He’s brutally relentless in the ring, he rapes Van Damme’s woman (Mylee), and he’s not afraid to fight dirty. What more could you want in a villain???

Pants on or off? You be the judge.

With a rockin’ 80s soundtrack (with some truly spectacular rock ballads in the mix), the film is paced fairly slow, but packs a punch when it needs to. A few scenes come to mind here, most notably, when Van Damme’s Vietnam Vet buddy raids the Asian mafia’s hideout to rescue Van Damme’s captured brother – this scene will blow you away due to its extreme use of guns, explosions, and wheelchair karate. Plus, it shows you the danger of what can happen to you when you kill a Muay Thai master’s dog. Ouch!

The other scene – the one that propels this flick from ok to f*cking awesome – features Van Damme getting hammered at a local watering hole (and wearing one of the goofiest tank top/suspenders in history), dancing with a couple of fine ladies, and kicking the crap out of some unlucky individuals – at the same time! A drunk, dancing, fighting Van Damme is what modern cinema is all about. But don’t take my word for it – check out the clip below and practice your own dance moves to the rhythm of the funky fresh beats.

Van Damme’s sweet dance moves!

If you’re debating whether or not KICKBOXER is for you, ask yourself this: do you like Van Damme busting his unique karate moves? Do you like Van Damme bulging with muscles and shirtless 75% of the time? Do you like Van Damme pushing his acting skills to the limit? Do you like early Van Damme (before the drugs kicked in)? Do you like watching martial art training montages? Do you like tournaments featuring ropes with broken glass fused by hot glue in lieu of boxing gloves? Do you like happy endings where the bad guys get what they deserve? If you answered YES to any of these questions, then KICKBOXER is for you!

TOP DEATH: While light on the body count, when Muay Thai master extracts his revenge via a meat-hook in the crotch, a big smile will appear on your face.

TOP ACTION SCENE: This also doubles for top dance sequence: Van Damme’s drunken fight scene. After his sensei stirs up trouble, Van Damme not only dances but kicks ass left and right… totally drunk! He may have single handedly started the ‘breakdance fighting’ craze with this movie.

TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: Every scene featuring Van Damme in his cut-off shorts, or better yet, his loin cloth during the final fight scene. A loin cloth in a fight scene? The only purpose that serves is the occasional Van Damme ass-shot.

Nope, nothing gay about this at all…

FEMALE EXPLOITATION: To help Van Damme relax, his Vietnam Vet buddy does the only logical thing: takes Van Damme to a titty bar, where the ladies all sport tassels, pasties, and some high-rising 80s underpants.

TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:

Tong Po: You bleed like Mylee. Mylee… good F*CK!

DRINKING GAME: Everytime the name ‘Tong Po’ is mentioned, you have to drink!

TRIVIA:

Michel Qissi plays Tong Po in the film – although the credits say Tong Po was played by Tong Po. Qissi stared in two other Van Damme flicks besides KICKBOXER: BLOODSPORT and LIONHEART.

Trailer for KICKBOXER!

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