Send in Tim’s Clowns

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

I HATE clowns! Their cake-white faces and painted-on grins are merely masks to get you to trust them. Underneath all that make-up, they’re really sick, sadistic psychopaths! I know it! Hence, clowns almost always make ideal subjects for scary flicks. And now we have word on the latest “joker-filled” horror somersaulting our way from genre boy-wonder, Tim Sullivan (2001 MANIACS, DRIFTWOOD), pictured above.

The flick, which Eric last spoke briefly about here, is simply called CLOWNS, however its subject matter is a tad more complex (and interesting) than you’d think! Check out the synopsis:

It’s NOT about psychopaths dressed as clowns terrorizing people. It IS about an ancient race of creatures who are the inspiration for modern-day clowns, though they’re none too happy about it. Their goal is to track down a descendant who isn’t aware of her strange heritage but is destined to find out on her 16th birthday, a birthday that is being celebrated in a pretty extravagant manner, I should add. Mayhem ensues.

The roots of the story go back to ancient Egypt, believe it or not, traveling to current times as we follow this family of what outwardly may look like regular clowns leaving a trail of bodies across a small town over the course of a day. They’re not regular clowns, however, as we soon learn. Their makeup doesn’t run, they all sprout horns under their funny hats, their noses are fake, and their trick flowers are actually fleshy protrusions on their chest that shoot a highly toxic acid. And they don’t like balloons either.

Whoa! What a kick ass idea! Could Mr. Sullivan be on the verge of making the CITIZEN KANE of all Killer Clown movies?! If the “16th birthday celebrated in an extravagant manner” is referring to a huge sweet sixteen party (like the ones on MTV) that gets slaughtered by clown-like beasts, then I’M SOLD!