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C'mon, Hollywood: Don't let The Expendabelles become a generic chick flick!

02.11.2014

Not too long ago, there was an announcement of an all female version of THE EXPENDABLES hitting theaters, called THE EXPENDABELLES, which I personally thought sounded supremely awesome. While we've gotten films like UNDERWORLD, RESIDENT EVIL and KILL BILL featuring women kicking ass and taking names, this would be the first time a movie had so many gals doing that at the same time. Now, though, that angle has changed and the project isn't sounding nearly as cool as it once did. 

What has me so worried? Well, let's take a look at the creative minds behind this little project. According to a very reliable source, the movie is being written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith, who've penned films like THE UGLY TRUTH, THE HOUSE BUNNY and SHE'S THE MANRobert Luketic who has made KILLERS, MONSTER-IN-LAW and THE UGLY TRUTH is set to direct. If these three were teaming up again for another lame comedy, I probably wouldn't be writing this. However, if they're associating themselves with something as action-packed as THE EXPENDABLES, why is Hollywood implementing people who have given us such shitty rom-coms in the past? What could have been a hard-hitting and intense female helmed vehicle now sounds like it's being watered down into a cute, safe action/comedy. I can just see it now… 

Yeah. F*ck that. There have been no further rumors, developments or details, but for now we're basically getting an Expendable spin-off from the people that brought us LEGALLY BLONDE. I'm not saying that it's a bad movie (in fact, AS A FILM, I'm prepared to say that LEGALLY BLONDE is a much better movie than THE EXPENDABLES), but now that we're getting the chance to see a large cast of women potentially play against their stereotypes and gender-restricting roles, we're being given another action/comedy from the people that helmed THE UGLY TRUTH. Hmm... 

The latter part of the synopsis also has me concerned: 

"some of the world's deadliest female operatives must pose as high-class call-girls shipped in by private plane to satisfy a dictator-and instead save the scientist and the day." 

Jesus. Is getting these women to play call-girls an excuse to have them dress slutty to draw in a larger male audience? Most definitely, but why? Why can't this be a secret, female-only section of The Expendable crew that can shoot big guns, knife fight and kick ass with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis? Wouldn't it be badass to have Sylvester Stallone or Jason Statham make an appearance and possibly even team up with this group of women to defeat some larger threat? That would get a ticket from me, but we all know that's not how they’re going to go about this. 

I have to say that badly shot action sequences, CGI blood and questionable acting made THE EXPENDABLES a fairly decent pile of shit and it falls right into all the genre expectations and cliches that plague action films these days. However cool it was seeing all those actors together, the movie still sucked, so if THE EXPENDABELLES sucks, it'll be in good company, but why allow that to happen? It's the women's chance to make sense of the situation. So, please, give us real action scenes with practical blood effects and sincere performances from actresses who haven't reached the age of 60 and are looking for a comeback. Sure, the plot may be cliche and silly, but having an all woman cast in an action movie would bring a whole different dynamic to the Hollywood scene. Please go with something audiences haven’t seen before by making an honest to goodness action film and stay away from the safe routine.

I'm just a regular dude and romantic comedies and lighter female driven films aren't something that I rush to check out on a weekly basis, so maybe I don't know what the f*ck I'm talking about, but ladies, is this really what you want? If you like flicks like 27 DRESSES and THE BOUNTY HUNTER, then great. You'll probably enjoy something like this just fine, but having the opportunity to see this many female actors kick ass feels special, so shouldn't we treat it that way? Wouldn't you rather leave the theater saying, "Wow! That movie was really cool! Those girls kicked ass!" rather than saying, "Yeah! That was cute and funny!" Wouldn't you? 

So, C'mon, Hollywood! Don't allow the stereotypes that you've laid out for yourself dictate how to go about a female driven film. I'd much rather see the likes of Milla Jovovich, Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Summer Glau, Linda Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver and Gina Carano seriously kicking ass rather than a movie starring Katherine Heigl, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson pretending to. Please bring us something kick ass and give us something awesome. 

Lastly, as fun as plagiarism sounds and as much as I wish I came up with it first, I think Sandy Schaefer of Screenrant.com said it best: "It might be best that everyone anticipates EXPENDABELLES amounting to little more than a campy celebration of feminine power…rather than a sincere expression of female empowerment." 

How sad. 

CLICK IMAGE TO OPEN GALLERY & SEE MORE PICS...

Extra Tidbit: We've heard about your ideal THE EXPENDABELLES casting. What's the worst cast you can come up with to star in this inevitable feature?
Source: JoBlo

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3:01PM on 04/02/2014

Meh...

If the Expendabelles is just a long lezzie soft core porn......I'm in. Other wise no interest.
If the Expendabelles is just a long lezzie soft core porn......I'm in. Other wise no interest.
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8:27AM on 02/12/2014
Flip the idea on its head - think Stallone and Schwarzenegger would make a movie where they went undercover as male prostitutes? I doubt anyone would even dare pitch the idea to them, and yet for a female Expendables movie you get this crap. And 'Expendabelles' - really? It's embarrassing that they settled on that title.
If it was a comedy, making a statement about sexist drivel in movies then maybe you could justify it.
Flip the idea on its head - think Stallone and Schwarzenegger would make a movie where they went undercover as male prostitutes? I doubt anyone would even dare pitch the idea to them, and yet for a female Expendables movie you get this crap. And 'Expendabelles' - really? It's embarrassing that they settled on that title.
If it was a comedy, making a statement about sexist drivel in movies then maybe you could justify it.
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8:47AM on 02/12/2014
Precisely the way I feel! Who knows, maybe the producers will see the complaining somehow and change things up... doubt it, though.
Precisely the way I feel! Who knows, maybe the producers will see the complaining somehow and change things up... doubt it, though.
9:59AM on 02/12/2014
that's bc this shit doenst exist in real life. There are no women in special forces in America and there are no mercs who can be hired that are female as most if not all cannot pass the male equivalent physical to be part of the team, hence why this movie needs some bullshit story to make you kinda believe this might happen. But again none of these chicks will have the comparable physique to match stallone, crews, statham and all the rest. This will be like watching another bad tomb raider, you
that's bc this shit doenst exist in real life. There are no women in special forces in America and there are no mercs who can be hired that are female as most if not all cannot pass the male equivalent physical to be part of the team, hence why this movie needs some bullshit story to make you kinda believe this might happen. But again none of these chicks will have the comparable physique to match stallone, crews, statham and all the rest. This will be like watching another bad tomb raider, you have to way more than 120lbs to beat up men who weigh 200+, unless they are only fighting another group of women then it will just be shit
5:24AM on 02/12/2014
The WNBA of movies!
The WNBA of movies!
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10:00AM on 02/12/2014
best reply to this yet
best reply to this yet
3:03PM on 04/02/2014
I've been to every Semi Final WNBA game for the last......ah fuck it you know that isn't true lol!
I've been to every Semi Final WNBA game for the last......ah fuck it you know that isn't true lol!
12:32AM on 02/12/2014
I stopped caring on the part of the plot when they mentioned something about Navy SEALs getting their asses kicked (I dunno if they still going ahead with that) and then the decision is made to send in the hot chicks. I just found that insulting ESPECIALLY coming from rom-com writers.
Meh, who knows maybe I'm the one who missed something as in, this IS supposed to be a chick-flick in the same vein as Charlie's Angels since its been like forever since such a movie came out and this opportunity
I stopped caring on the part of the plot when they mentioned something about Navy SEALs getting their asses kicked (I dunno if they still going ahead with that) and then the decision is made to send in the hot chicks. I just found that insulting ESPECIALLY coming from rom-com writers.
Meh, who knows maybe I'm the one who missed something as in, this IS supposed to be a chick-flick in the same vein as Charlie's Angels since its been like forever since such a movie came out and this opportunity felt too good to pass up.
High class call-girls?? WTF?! I'm now guessing their guns will be pink with diamond encrusted hand-grips and their Camo face-paint supplied by Loréal!
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10:03AM on 02/12/2014
well it cant be anything real or factual bc then the movie would end in the first 10 minutes with all the chicks getting their asses kicked, but if unsuspecting guys getting seduced by hot broads all of a sudden get stabbed then they might have a chance....even the writes recognize that a chick who weighs 12olbs inst gonna be holding a gatling gun up and shooting it all around, it would just sit on the ground while 2 of them try to help pick it up as they are all slaughtered
well it cant be anything real or factual bc then the movie would end in the first 10 minutes with all the chicks getting their asses kicked, but if unsuspecting guys getting seduced by hot broads all of a sudden get stabbed then they might have a chance....even the writes recognize that a chick who weighs 12olbs inst gonna be holding a gatling gun up and shooting it all around, it would just sit on the ground while 2 of them try to help pick it up as they are all slaughtered
2:56AM on 02/13/2014
True, the chicks can't go gun-ho with gatlin guns blazing in each hand so a covert strike would be much better. Instead of blow for blow ass kicking (which wouldnt be a problem for REAL LIFE army chicks from India or the Israeli defence forces), a quick neck snap or throat slit from behind. Instead of leaping in front of the enemy (with a possible cheesy one-liner) and blasting them to shreds, sweep the entire compound quickly and quietly like what Bruce Willis and his team did in that village
True, the chicks can't go gun-ho with gatlin guns blazing in each hand so a covert strike would be much better. Instead of blow for blow ass kicking (which wouldnt be a problem for REAL LIFE army chicks from India or the Israeli defence forces), a quick neck snap or throat slit from behind. Instead of leaping in front of the enemy (with a possible cheesy one-liner) and blasting them to shreds, sweep the entire compound quickly and quietly like what Bruce Willis and his team did in that village scene from Tears of the Sun. Instead of fleeing in a hail of bullets and out running fireballs, a slow-mo powerwalk from a gigantic explosion just as the baddies realise and go "Oh shi...".
Think back to Jason Bourne out manuevering the goons in Mini Cooper or James Bond in hot pursuit in tank (and also finding the time to do a power-slide in it).
In short, there other ways of doing the action scenes and still make them entertaining instead of the usual macho clichés we know and love to suit female capabilities and strengths.
9:35PM on 02/11/2014
First off, let me congratulate you on this article, this is what a C'mon Hollywood column should read like.

Personally, I don't like the title, but I understand if they're trying to get name recognition. It just sounds a little too much like an Asylum movie. The idea isn't the worst thing in the world for a movie, but the plot seems pretty sexist, and I trust a lot of actresses to pass on this if posing as call-girls it the best they can do. The model right now for female action is they're
First off, let me congratulate you on this article, this is what a C'mon Hollywood column should read like.

Personally, I don't like the title, but I understand if they're trying to get name recognition. It just sounds a little too much like an Asylum movie. The idea isn't the worst thing in the world for a movie, but the plot seems pretty sexist, and I trust a lot of actresses to pass on this if posing as call-girls it the best they can do. The model right now for female action is they're the ones the men underestimate (except in Haywire), but having them go against a villainess would be a good idea. Honestly, I'm a little surprised this thing landed a director. It sounded like a pipe dream when it was first announced as a project. If they can nab Jennifer Garner though, I might have to go see it. I miss seeing her kick butt.
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+8
6:06PM on 02/11/2014
Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Droopy, Pink Panther, Quick Draw Mcgraw, Magilla Gorilla with Tom & Jerry and special cameo by Top Cat
Expendotoonies!
This I would watch.

Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Droopy, Pink Panther, Quick Draw Mcgraw, Magilla Gorilla with Tom & Jerry and special cameo by Top Cat
Expendotoonies!
This I would watch.

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2:28PM on 02/11/2014
Should have taken Bitch Slap as an example. Just with a better script and bad ass action scenes
Should have taken Bitch Slap as an example. Just with a better script and bad ass action scenes
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+6
1:27PM on 02/11/2014

Let them Fail

Let them try to do this, and try to exploit them for their... looks i guess? Then let them not make a single dime, and let that be the end of it.
Let them try to do this, and try to exploit them for their... looks i guess? Then let them not make a single dime, and let that be the end of it.
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1:26PM on 02/11/2014
Did the author of this article just say Legally blonde was a better movie than The Expendables? I'm done.
Did the author of this article just say Legally blonde was a better movie than The Expendables? I'm done.
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1:08PM on 02/11/2014
Where to begin with this? First off, with a name for an original film titled "The Expendabelles", I'm not sure where you arrived at the decision that this ever sounded like a good movie and would be nothing more than a satirical knock off of "The Expendables". Frankly, the fact that rom-com writers are making this movie seems on par for the course.

I agree with your point that would be great to get an honest action film with an all female cast. One that truly breaks the Hollywood gender
Where to begin with this? First off, with a name for an original film titled "The Expendabelles", I'm not sure where you arrived at the decision that this ever sounded like a good movie and would be nothing more than a satirical knock off of "The Expendables". Frankly, the fact that rom-com writers are making this movie seems on par for the course.

I agree with your point that would be great to get an honest action film with an all female cast. One that truly breaks the Hollywood gender stereotypes that have been around for so long. But connecting this film with The Expendables world will do more harm than good. You state that it would be great to see Stallone or Statham show up to help out the team and save the day, but what kind of message that does that send about gender stereotypes? "You can be as tough as you want, but eventually you'll need a man to bail you out?"
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2:39PM on 02/11/2014
Exactly! Having one of the men from the Expendables show up would just be stupid. Let's see women do it on their own--much more empowering, much more entertaining.
Exactly! Having one of the men from the Expendables show up would just be stupid. Let's see women do it on their own--much more empowering, much more entertaining.
11:46AM on 02/11/2014

I have a point......

If they wanted to make this movie kick ass and be taken for what it is they should have hired the people who do Banshee on Cinemax. Just fucking and fighting every and all episode long. It doesn't try to take itself to seriously, accomplishes fun action sequences, and has tons of hot ass every episode.
If they wanted to make this movie kick ass and be taken for what it is they should have hired the people who do Banshee on Cinemax. Just fucking and fighting every and all episode long. It doesn't try to take itself to seriously, accomplishes fun action sequences, and has tons of hot ass every episode.
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11:14AM on 02/11/2014
The title is just stupid, and the disgusting idea to have them pose as call girls is infuriating. Have them be tough, empowered women who kick ass! And don't just go for young, "hot" women--after all, the fun of The Expendables was seeing the older generation team up with the younger generation to kick ass, so stick with that theme.
"Wouldn't it be badass to have Sylvester Stallone or Jason Statham make an appearance and possibly even team up with this group of women to defeat some larger
The title is just stupid, and the disgusting idea to have them pose as call girls is infuriating. Have them be tough, empowered women who kick ass! And don't just go for young, "hot" women--after all, the fun of The Expendables was seeing the older generation team up with the younger generation to kick ass, so stick with that theme.
"Wouldn't it be badass to have Sylvester Stallone or Jason Statham make an appearance and possibly even team up with this group of women to defeat some larger threat? " No. No way. I want to see a female crew, female villain, all that stuff. Women were incidental in The Expendables--why can't men be incidental in The Expendabelles?
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12:10PM on 02/11/2014
I agree. The call girl thing is HORRID. I want to see them kick ass with big fights and action. Yes to a female villain. The girls can be hot without resorting to cheapness by having them be whores.
I agree. The call girl thing is HORRID. I want to see them kick ass with big fights and action. Yes to a female villain. The girls can be hot without resorting to cheapness by having them be whores.
1:30AM on 02/12/2014
"Women were incidental in The Expendables--why can't men be incidental in The Expendabelles?"

That was the point I was trying to make but I got voted down. And Bitch Slap is a good example: I don't think anybody would mistake that for a serious action movie.
"Women were incidental in The Expendables--why can't men be incidental in The Expendabelles?"

That was the point I was trying to make but I got voted down. And Bitch Slap is a good example: I don't think anybody would mistake that for a serious action movie.
10:49AM on 02/11/2014

Hopefully

I get to see some big titties!!!
I get to see some big titties!!!
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11:14AM on 02/11/2014
Really? I mean... really?
Really? I mean... really?
10:00AM on 02/12/2014
hahaha love it, bc we know tis movie will blow harder than Michelle Rodriguez on Jessica biel
hahaha love it, bc we know tis movie will blow harder than Michelle Rodriguez on Jessica biel
10:43AM on 02/11/2014

Remember White Man's Burden?

In White Man's Burden, John Travolta played a poor white guy who got fired by his boss, Harry Belafonte. In the movie, all the rich people in America are black and most white people are poor. It would be cool if Expendabelles were set in a world where women are the police, soldiers, fire fighters, etc. and men stay home at cook, clean and do laundry. You could have this one guy in the Expendabelles who is "trying to prove that men can be tough too". That would be cute. That would be funny.
In White Man's Burden, John Travolta played a poor white guy who got fired by his boss, Harry Belafonte. In the movie, all the rich people in America are black and most white people are poor. It would be cool if Expendabelles were set in a world where women are the police, soldiers, fire fighters, etc. and men stay home at cook, clean and do laundry. You could have this one guy in the Expendabelles who is "trying to prove that men can be tough too". That would be cute. That would be funny. Hopefully it would also be incredibly sexy and kick a lot of ass.
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10:35AM on 02/11/2014
Sounds and looks like shit! This will be a box office failure.
Sounds and looks like shit! This will be a box office failure.
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10:59AM on 02/11/2014
Yip
Yip
10:34AM on 02/11/2014
If they do one with women then it has to be as gritty and cool as Expendables, not "Charlie's Angels" type bullshit.
If they do one with women then it has to be as gritty and cool as Expendables, not "Charlie's Angels" type bullshit.
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10:34AM on 02/11/2014
I really want to see an action flick headlined by women but the more I think I about it, the more this seems this is a completely wrongheaded approach. They have to go undercover as call girls? Robert Luketic is directing? From a script by the people who wrote The Ugly Truth? Why is any of this even thought of as a good idea? I think an all-female Expendables spin-off is not an inherently bad concept but it should follow the nostalgia-driven concept of the regular Expendables, that it's a bunch
I really want to see an action flick headlined by women but the more I think I about it, the more this seems this is a completely wrongheaded approach. They have to go undercover as call girls? Robert Luketic is directing? From a script by the people who wrote The Ugly Truth? Why is any of this even thought of as a good idea? I think an all-female Expendables spin-off is not an inherently bad concept but it should follow the nostalgia-driven concept of the regular Expendables, that it's a bunch of seasoned veterans who are getting the old team back together, supplemented by younger members whom they act as mentors to.
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11:12AM on 02/11/2014
its probably because in real life yu actually do have people like the expendables, real mercs who can fight and were former special forces and you see they don't let women do special forces for a good reason, mostly being they cant pass the male equivalent test for entrance, so hence nothing like the female expendables exist, that is what makes it wholly unrealistic and why you need a lame story as the writers realize this
its probably because in real life yu actually do have people like the expendables, real mercs who can fight and were former special forces and you see they don't let women do special forces for a good reason, mostly being they cant pass the male equivalent test for entrance, so hence nothing like the female expendables exist, that is what makes it wholly unrealistic and why you need a lame story as the writers realize this
11:16AM on 02/11/2014
cricker--you're talking about realism in an Expendables movie, friend. Not a good enough reason (and some women CAN pass those tests and SHOULD be allowed in special forces if they aren't, but whatever).
cricker--you're talking about realism in an Expendables movie, friend. Not a good enough reason (and some women CAN pass those tests and SHOULD be allowed in special forces if they aren't, but whatever).
10:11AM on 02/11/2014
This just sounds lame as hell. I can see bringing iconic women into The Expendables but why a female version of an already established franchise? To me it just screams modern feminism.
This just sounds lame as hell. I can see bringing iconic women into The Expendables but why a female version of an already established franchise? To me it just screams modern feminism.
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