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Monopoly in the process of being turned into a Broadway musical

06.20.2016
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monopoly, hasbro

Remember that time when Hasbro and Lionsgate partnered up and were in the process of trying to make a movie based on the board game MONOPOLY...? Oh, wait... That's still happening, isn't it? Geez... Some terrible ideas just will never die. But, if you were ready to pull out whatever hair you have left at the absurdity of that concept, you'd better save some for the current moment... 'cause things are about to get more WTF around here. 

How WTF, you ask? MONOPOLY: THE MUSICAL on Broadway WTF...

That's right... MONOPOLY: THE MUSICAL is set to be the first of a series of stage projects emerging from the new tag team of Hasbro and the Araca Group, a producing and merchandising company. And while that may cause your face to meet your palm with the quickness, think about the fact that this is just the first. First means there's going to be a second, which means there are plans for more live theater centered around Hasbro properties. Oh yeah... They're really serious about this. 

The new partnership between Hasbro and Araca will dig into Hasbro’s library for inspiration for stage fare across all theater markets, including Broadway, national tours, amusement parks and cruise ships, as well as licensed content created for use by high schools, colleges and community theaters.

Where's a table when I badly need to flip something?

Don't worry though... We'll all feel better about this when we realize that what they're doing sounds nothing like MONOPOLY at all and more like an open invitation to slap the brand name on whatever they hell they want in the hopes of suckering rubes into the Orchestra section to pay New York City prices.

'I can tell you this: It’s not going to be a musical about people sitting around playing Monopoly,' said Matthew Rego of the Araca Group. 'What turns us on is creating something that explores the world of Monopoly, kind of like the Lego movies have done with Legos.'

Why couldn't it have just been one bad movie that we would ultimately forget even existed? Who had to push the envelope to the next level?

Place your wagers on what might follow MONOPOLY... You know it's bound to be worse, unless the asteroid hits before then.

  

Source: Variety
Tags: Hasbro, Monopoly

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1:03PM on 06/21/2016
Whats the problem?
Whats the problem?
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3:59AM on 06/21/2016
I pick up the two dice, I throw them on the board
Rolling and a'rolling, I roll a pair of fours
I land on Vermont Avenue and I do buy it up
I spin again and get a four and I do visit jail.

Now it's my baby's turn and he does roll a five
He moves his piece and then he does start to smile
'Cause when we play he likes to buy ev'ry train on the board
'Cause that's how he like like to play this game

My baby takes the Reading train
When it is his turn again
He spins a lucky ten and
I pick up the two dice, I throw them on the board
Rolling and a'rolling, I roll a pair of fours
I land on Vermont Avenue and I do buy it up
I spin again and get a four and I do visit jail.

Now it's my baby's turn and he does roll a five
He moves his piece and then he does start to smile
'Cause when we play he likes to buy ev'ry train on the board
'Cause that's how he like like to play this game

My baby takes the Reading train
When it is his turn again
He spins a lucky ten and then
And buys another railroad

I've bought Vermont Avenue, St. James and New York too
You'd think I would be happy, but I know what's happening
I pick up Illinois but it's not gonna help
Because I know he's gonna spin another ten again

My baby takes the B&O train
When it is his turn again
He spins a lucky ten and then
And buys another railroad

A lucky seven and I avoid going to jail
I land on Pacific Avenue and I do buy that too
An eight sends me forward to Boardwalk
And I have just enough money to buy it

My baby has taken all the trains
But he does spin ten again
So he passes Go and then
He picks up two hundred dollars

Dammit. I rolled a six. I pay you two hundred.

Ha ha ha ha.

Why does this always happen?

No idea.
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11:58PM on 06/20/2016
I go around the board and I pass Go
And I pick up a hundred bucks
That's my salary for passing Go
I roll the dice now wish me luck

Oh yeah, I'm going rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'm gonna buy it
Oh yeah, I'm going rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'm gonna buy it

Goin' around the game board
Playing the game monopoly
Buying up some properties
And paying rent as I go

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock
I go around the board and I pass Go
And I pick up a hundred bucks
That's my salary for passing Go
I roll the dice now wish me luck

Oh yeah, I'm going rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'm gonna buy it
Oh yeah, I'm going rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'm gonna buy it

Goin' around the game board
Playing the game monopoly
Buying up some properties
And paying rent as I go

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent

I buy up Marvin and Ventnor
Now I have a monopoly
I start building houses on them
Soon I will build hotels

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent

Ho, my money is low
I think I'm gonna lose
My money is low
I think I'm gonna lose

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent

Ho, my money is low
I think I'm gonna lose
My money is low
I think I'm gonna lose

Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent
Oh no, I'm gonna rock down to Atlantic Avenue
And then I'll pay the rent

Ohh yeah
I'm bankrupt now
I'm bankrupt now
I've lost the game
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