Awfully Good Movies: The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

April 13th 2020, 10:50am

Last Updated on July 30, 2021

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1986)

DIRECTOR: Rod Amateau CAST: Anthony Newley, Mackenzie Astin, Katie Barberi

Just because our country and our movie theaters are under corona-induced lockdown doesn't mean we can't enjoy from the comfort of our homes the DreamWorks Animation sequel TROLLS WORLD TOUR, but if those twerking autotuned trolls don't do it for you, then perhaps you can watch another movie adaptation of 80s cartoon characters that serves as our latest subject for Awfully Good Movies…THE GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE! In the mid-80s, the Topps Company introduced a highly unusual line of trading cards that depicted the Garbage Pail Kids, which served as grotesque parodies of the then-popular Cabbage Patch Kids dolls that soon became immensely popular on schoolyards across America, to the point that teachers were even trying to ban the cards from their classes. But there was very little outrage when the Garbage Pail Kids starred in their very own movie in the summer of 1987, which depicts seven of these deformed children landing on Earth inside of a garbage can spaceship, as they come across a retired magician's antique shop and the magician's young orphaned co-worker named Dodger.

And in addition to looking for their fellow Garbage Pail Kids whom they've been separated from, these children are also in search of the lazy ass makeup artists who forgot to give their prosthetic costumes some fully functional animatronics. But never fear, they still have plenty of time to showcase their own unique abnormalities–Windy Winston's gaseous ass, Foul Phil's halitosis-induced bad breath, Ali Gator's appetite for human toes, etc.–as well as help Dodger face off against a merciless gang of teenage bullies who won't stop picking on the kid, one of whom Dodger happens to have a boyhood crush on. Yes, kids, of all the things you expected the Garbage Pail Kids to do in their first big screen adventure, I'll bet none of you were expecting them to sew some fashionable clothes on behalf of a young orphan boy who wants to win over the heart of a girl named after a fruit, who herself wants to become a big-name fashion designer. Sounds like an awfully complicated plot for a movie based on trading cards, doesn't it? Well, you don't know the half of it, so hop on the back of an ATV and ride out for some awfully good fun with the Garbage Pail Kids. Just make sure you wash your hands first and put on one of those medical masks, because not even Valerie Vomit is immune to the dangers of coronavirus.