Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Christopher Smith

Dan Dryer (Steve)
Laura Harris (Maggie)
Claudie Blakely/Jill
Tobie Stephens/Harris
8 10
A group of buttoned down tight wads that work for a weapons company called Palisade Defense head out into the Hungarian woods (where else) to partake in some tacky “team spirit” bull-crap weekend. Luckily for them, their boring holiday is interrupted by a horde of murderous and vengeful ex-soldiers with "kill" on the fritz.. Let the real party begin!

Girls in Britain are easy, you give 'em one Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit. - Steve

I didn’t got nuts for Christopher Smith's first fear flick CREEP like everybody else did but I saw enough good shite within it to keep tabs on the lad as to his next project. So it was with semi reservations that I tackled his follow up SEVERANCE. So did I have a hoot and bang the Nanny with if or what? Read on! Or better yet, words to the wise; go surf some lesbo porn instead of wasting time on this drivel!

How I loved to love SEVERANCE? Let me count the ways! Character wise, I was treated to an engaging smarmy group of corporate types that were straight out of the TV show The Office. Although somewhat stereotypical, the smooth characterization at hand and the stellar acting made up for whatever sense of deja-vu that rammed my skull. Shaun of the Dead aside, I’ve never been much for British humor; just not my shtick, but I was delighted to witness yet another exception with this razor blade smile. The dialogue at hand was sharp, the comedic situations freaking hilarious (that dude on schrooms had me rolling on the floor like a "J" between Snoop Dog’s fingers) and the ample satirical spices (by way of poking fun at the US’s current war on terror), potent enough to make me chuckle and go “hmmm”. Now, what I just rambled about was actually the first half of the flick. Then the shift seamlessly happened.

The whole became a hardcore horror flick, one that was low on giggles but high on inventiveness (dug the traps, wish I had some for my lawn), sly plays on conventions, lip biting suspense and yummy go crazy gore. The sudden change in tone acted like a sucker punch in my dumbfounded mug. Since the first half was much softer and lighter, the "pedal to the floor" second half hit me even harder than it should have since, much like me with love, I wasn’t prepared for it. THANK YOU! I needed that vicious beating as my mom often professes. And when you Jenga on top of that some unique ways of communicating exposition (that old timer BnW back-story was gold), side splitting sexual innuendos, all kinds of flame thrower fun (me likey flame throwers) and two pairs of Hungarian ta-tas that have to be seen to be appreciated in all of their Hungarian glory, and you get a happy Arrow!

Any beefs with this big, bad, motherf*cker? Minor ones. Personally, I am fairly sick of genre flicks being set in the woods. We get it, it’s a great low budget location, can we move on already? But that’s just me. And although the flick was novel for the most part, the initial premise was also somewhat cliched. Peeps in woods versus skilled maniacs. Been there done that too many times for me! Finally, I could’ve easily gone without that useless “dream sequence” that felt solely there to provide a cheap jump before the real action began. Come on! The film was better than that.

On the whole though; you can now call me a Christopher Smith fan! Where he went wrong (in my useless opinion of course) with CREEP, he did it all right with this poodle. Easily one of the more biting and entertaining films I have seen this year thus far! Drop some mushrooms and cha-cha with SEVERANCE!

Don’t want to give away too many of the splat-gags found in this one; they're a big part of the fun. But will say this; slit throats, decapitations, and severed limbs are in the house; the rest you’ll have to discover for yourself.
Dan Dryer (Steve) had me in stitches as the stoner and horn dog of the gang; actually, he was playing me! Arrow fav Laura Harris (Maggie) tackled yet another genre film and came out on top via her charm, good looks and strong chops. Claudie Blakely (Jill) was great as the geekiest of the group while Toby Stephens (Harris) was on the ball as the token hot-shot. NOTE: The cast was fairly vast, hence I won’t mention everybody, but it needs to be said; they all did a bang up job!
T & A
We get one swift tit shot and cleavage galore (loved them nurses). The ladies get shirtless men.
Smith directed with style, wit and energy, handling his comedic content like an ace and nailing the horror joo-joo hardcore. Tension, potent atmosphere, left field and mean spirited kills…good shite!
The score meshed perfectly with the varied moods at hand.
SEVERANCE was a deluxe genre pizza with all of the "groovy horror shite" toppings in check! Gore, laughs, raunchiness, tension and surprises all executed in a tighter than Mandy Moore’s mouth kind of way. Sure the “horror survivalist” subgenre is now officially played out for me and the flick did stumble a few times along the way but overall; the freshness, creativeness and big set of bulldog-balls the film brought to the table compensated for that. Buy this one a drink, ask her what her Zodiac sign is, bend her over and have a blast! A FUN RIDE!
The film was shot in both Hungary and the Isle of Man.

Fellow Canuck Laura Harris was born on November 20 1976 in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.