Best Of: JoBlo.com!

You’ve read the Top 10 lists from JimmyO, Chris Bumbray and The Arrow. Now for something a little different…

This is less a Top 10 list than a year-end wrap up of stuff we liked, stuff we didn’t like and movie girlfriends we’d love to have. Hope you had a great 2008 and here’s to 2009 (speaking of, check out our 2009 preview next week!).

BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR

It’s a shame that because WALL-E is a “cartoon” that
it very likely won’t get nominated for a Best Picture Oscar at the Academy
Awards.  Because make no doubt about it, WALL-E is the best movie of
2008.  

WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR

This movie had a strong scent of stink at Comic-Con back in the
summer and nothing happened in the sixth months between then and when it opened
in December.  Just an absolute mess of a movie that doesn’t work on any
level.  Some movies are so bad they’re good again.  THE SPIRIT is just
SO bad.

BEST MOVIE NO ONE SAW

I’m not surprised movie audiences didn’t connect with an
R-rated, coming-of-age drama about a kid selling weed on 4th of July
weekend.  THE WACKNESS never had a chance.  But damnit, it should
have.  It was funny and touching in an honest way when way too many other
movies try too hard.  Besides, any movie that has smoking weed and playing
“Legend of Zelda” on NES is a-OK in my book.

WORST MOVIE EVERYONE SAW

I really hate to say this.  I really hate to say
this.  I thought perhaps the more I thought about it, the more I’d like
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL but the more I think about it
(and upon subsequent viewings), I actually like it less and less.  And I
didn’t really like it much to begin with.  So much potential.  All
blown up like a lead-lined refrigerator.

BEST MOVIE POSTER

I wasn’t much of a fan of BURN AFTER READING but it’s Saul Bass
throwback was genius.  And while DEAR ZACHARY didn’t get much play in movie
theaters (as documentaries that also air on TV for free rarely do), it had a
beauty you don’t see from the biggest studio blockbuster.  Let’s call this
one a tie.

BEST MOVIE TRAILER

The PINEAPPLE EXPRESS red-band trailer almost never made the
light of day.  Judd Apatow reportedly leaked it to YouTube himself, fearful
that Sony wouldn’t release it.  The rule: always trust the Judd. 
Red-band PINEAPPLE is easily the best trailer of the year.  So much so that
MIA’s “Paper Planes” hit #1 on the iTunes download chart as a result
and has become synonymous with the movie (even though it’s not featured at all
in the film).

BEST USE OF RED-BAND

MIRRORS wasn’t the greatest horror movie this year but it did
have one insanely gruesome scene (the jaw rip) and while we all tend to rag on Fox for some of
their decisions, you’ve got to give them credit for stepping up and finding a
way to market the sickest thing I’ve seen on film in a while.

MOST DISAPPOINTING MOVIE

Yes, INDY 4 could easily repeat here but I’ve covered that above
and I was equally as disappointed with THE X-FILES 2.  We waiting all this
time to have Mulder and Scully reunited for this?  A big summer release and
this is what we get?  A giant embargo on the set visit for this?  I
sworn to secrecy that Mulder had a beard??

BEST DVD/BLU-RAY

Watching THE FALL on Blu-ray is an absolute experience.  If
you’re looking to give your home theater setup a real test, rent this film, kick
back and watch the visuals absolutely pop off your screen.  It’s movies
like this that Blu-ray was invented for.

BEST MOVIE GIRLFRIEND

Is there anyone more adorable than Mila Kunis?  And I mean
Mila Kunis in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL.  Mila Kunis in MAX PAYNE is cute
too but her Hawaiian hotel clerk Rachel in FSM helped a guy overcome his addiction to
Kristen Bell and gave all us fanboys a giant…crush. Yeah, a giant crush.

BEST MOVIE QUOTE

“Shoot this muthafucka!”  I was tempted to
vote for “Why so serious?” or “I want MY son back!” but in
the end, I just so consistently get a kick out of Morgan Freeman bellowing,
“Shoot this muthafucka!” that I couldn’t vote for anything
else.

SNAKES ON A PLANE AWARD

Let’s all just agree that PUNISHER: WAR ZONE isn’t a great
Punisher movie and isn’t really a great movie at all, yet IT IS a great
movie.  Whereas THE SPIRIT was just bad, PUNISHER is so bad, it’s good
again.  So ridiculously over-the-top, you can’t help but laugh and enjoy
yourself.

BEST “UNDER THE
INFLUENCE” MOVIE

You might think that PINEAPPLE EXPRESS might take this award but
I hate giving one movie more than one award so I’ll give this to my 2nd favorite
comedy of 2008.  Get yourself wasted and watch ROLE MODELS (whenever it
comes out on DVD) and you’ll be in fits.  

TOP 5 MOVIES THAT SOUND LIKE
PORNOS

5. MILK
4. CHOKE
3. SOUL MEN
2. THE WOMEN
1. HANCOCK

TOP 5 PORNOS BASED ON 2008
MOVIES

5. THE BANK HAND JOB
4. F*CKING SARAH MARSHALL
3. RACHEL GETTING F*CKED
2. THE LOVE GOO-RU
1. LEATHERHEAD