CAST THIS: Red Sonja

I almost completely forgot about this project until this past week when it was announced that Megan Fox had reportedly been offered the role. But being Megan “I’m too good for you” Fox, who has already turned down Wonder Woman and Lara Croft, it remains anyone’s guess as to whether or not she accepts the role, which I doubt she will. And Fox as a redhead? I just don’t see it.

The project was supposed to be a little love-fest between Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan, but once their romance turned south, so did the project, and hence the recent Fox news. But at this point, that’s all still just a rumor, and RED SONJA could be anyone’s game in the end.

I know it’s inherently weird to say cartoon character is hot, but DAMN. Red Sonja’s scale-mail bikini and the body it covers is legendary the comic world, and it’s going to take someone with big…acting chops to pull it off. And honestly I don’t think Fox has the skills, or the cups to get the job done.

I really do think we need to go with someone extremely voluptuous. I mean, that’s pretty much the damn point of the character isn’t it? Sure, it may be hard to regulate extreme bouncing during acting sequences, but I honestly don’t think the audience heading to see RED SONJA will mind watching her battle with gravity onscreen.

Yes, acting helps also, but I think “the look” really is the most important part of casting here, and I in no way think Fox meets those standards. I have a few of my own choices in mind, but I want to hear yours.

Last Week: LEONARDO DA VINCI

Previously, we were casting Leonardo Da Vinci, action hero, in the new supernatural adventure being developed around the character. The results?

1. Eric Bana (12%) 2. Sam Rockwell (8%) 3. Adrian Brody (6%)

Da Vinci is kind of a random character to be casting, so we saw the most diverse set of choices in the comments I think I’ve seen writing this column thus far. There was barely consensus for anyone, but these three stood out to me.

Bana would do a great job I think, and needs more leading roles. Rockwell also needs a place to show his chops, though I’m not sure if I can picture him as Da Vinci. If this were a biopic of Da Vinci, I think Brody would look the part, but an action adventure? Mm, I suppose he does have a bit badass cred built up after PREDATORS.

Alright, give me your Red Sonja picks!