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Necessary Evil: Iconic Christmas Characters in a Horror Movie!

12.23.2016by: Mike Catalano

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My horror friends, I have an announcement to make. It seems that this will be the last Necessary Evil I will have the privilege of writing here at Arrow in the Head. And although my heart is filled with pain at not being able to come up with more ideas for horror that has to happen, it is also filled with thankfulness that I was given the opportunity to write as many fun articles as I have! I LOVE Arrow in the Head and completely understand that the site has to adapt to changing times! I also hope to be back at AITH or joblo.com in some type of capacity in the future!

Okay, announcement over! I still have one more Necessary Evil to throw your way, so let's go! Since our last article took on the holiday of Thanksgiving, I decided that it was only fitting to end the year with another dose of holiday horror. So pour the eggnog and gobble up some gingerbread men because a scary Christmas movie idea is on my list!

IDEA: A Christmas horror movie where classic holiday show and movie characters are brought to life and end up terrorizing a town! It will be in the same vein as GREMLINS and JUMANJI. Let's call this one HAVE YOURSELF A SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

OUTLINE: On Christmas Eve in the town of Deagle Falls, a snow storm has caused the cable in the Williams household to go out. They still have power, but are now unable to watch all their favorite holiday shows on TV. Not wanting to see his family disappointed, Daddy Williams heads out to find a way to solve this problem. All electronic stores are mobbed by last-minute shoppers and Mr. Williams can't find anything to hook up to his TV. While dejectedly walking back to his car, an old van pulls up before him. A skinny man in his 50's with long greying hair steps out and asks Mr. Williams what he wants for Christmas. Mr. Williams tells him about the cable issue and the skinny pan pulls out a special streaming device that he says will download any Christmas show or movie he wants. Desperate, Mr. Williams purchases the device.

Upon arriving home and showing his wife and two kids the streaming device, Mr. Williams is deemed a holiday hero. The family snuggles up by their brightly lit tree and prepares to begin their Christmas Eve viewing extravaganza! The device boots up fast and offers the option of creating a playlist. Mr. Williams programs in all the classics: The Grinch, Rudolph, Frosty, Charlie Brown, A Christmas Story, Elf, Home Alone, etc. Upon hitting 'play', their television bursts on in red and green colors. It then begins flashing quick scenes from everything that was just programmed. The television begins to shake and suddenly splits down the center. A bright beam shoots out from the split. The family does not know what to think and then notice a small boy with a round baldish head seated before the television. "Why didn't you like my little tree?" he asks. It is Charlie Brown... only a much more pissed off version!

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It turns out that ol' Chuck isn't the only new occupant in the Williams' house. The family soon discovers their home overrun by extra evil versions of The Grinch, Rudolph, Hermey the Elf, Buddy the Elf, Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun, Kevin McCallister, and more! The Williams family is both confused and frightened as the holiday characters try to kill them! They fight to survive using household weapons like kitchen knives, rolling pins, cookie baking pans, and selfie sticks. Suddenly, the storm takes out all the power (not just the cable). In the dark, the Williams family exits the house. They are soon followed by the holiday characters. Once outside, the Grinch and his fellow baddies decide to terrorize the whole town! Anything showing signs of a merry Christmas is fair game! (Naturally, if one couldn't obtain the rights to the actual characters, these could be thinly veiled versions.)

As the holiday characters destroy the town of Deagle Falls, Mr. Williams determines that finding the skinny man who sold him the streaming device may be their only chance at survival. He drives off with his family in tow, searching for the old van. While this is happening, we cut to scenes of Christmas chaos: Ralphie is shooting people in the eye, Hermey the Elf is yanking out people's teeth, the Grinch is ripping people's hearts out, Rudolph is trampling carolers, Buddy the Elf is pouring maple syrup down people's throats till they choke, and Kevin McCallister is setting up deadly booby traps inside people's homes.

Meanwhile, Mr. Williams spots the old van parked on the grass in the center of Deagle Falls' town square. The skinny man is perched on top of the municipal building, observing the festive devastation. Mr. Williams confronts him and it is revealed that the skinny man is actually an old, disgruntled elf that got excommunicated from the North Pole for making unsafe toys. He is enacting his revenge by destroying Christmas one town at a time! Mr. Williams begs him to stop the holiday characters and the skinny man laughs and says the characters will continue to kill as long as they stream. Then Mr. Williams abruptly runs back to his car because the skinny man has inadvertently told him how to save the town. He has to get back home and destroy the streaming device... but he and his family will have to go through a merry mess of character mayhem in order to do it!

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WHY IT COULD WORK: The fun and success of last year's KRAMPUS is a pretty good indication that audiences enjoy fun horror holiday-themed entertainment! And seeing everyone's favorite holiday TV and movie characters enacting bloody vengeance for a shunned elf may just be nutty enough to satisfy genre junkies!

CHARACTERS: How cool would it be if we got Zach Galligan, "Billy Peltzer" from GREMLINS, to play Mr. Williams and Phoebe Cates, "Kate" from Gremlins, to play his wife?! I think Doug Jones, from HELLBOY, would make for a good skinny man because he has that type of build.

CONCLUSION: Genre fans love holiday horror and everyone loves the likes of Charlie Brown, the Grinch, Rudolph, etc. If done with enough self-aware humor and hardcore violence, HAVE YOURSELF A SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS could become a weird holiday classic in its own right!

Okay my friends, for the last time I'm asking for your thoughts on this Evil that is Necessary! Does this holiday horror sound like a yuletide treat? Or is it more like getting coal in your stocking? Regardless, I want to thank you for reading and Arrow in the Head for giving me the chance to write this crazy column! Now if you would, kindly fire them bullets into the comments section below! And if you have any ideas that you think should be made into horror reality, there's no need to let me know at [email protected] because this is the last one! Good bye!

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Extra Tidbit: What's your favorite program to watch (movie or tv show) during the holidays?



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