RA: American Ninja

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

AMERICAN NINJA (1985)

Rating: 3 on 4 /

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Tag Line: The deadliest art of the Orient is now in the hands of an American.


Directed by Sam Firstenberg
Starring Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Judie Aronson

THE PLAN: An Army trooper stationed on an island in the pacific stumbles across an operation involving the selling of Army issued weapons on the black market. The operation is being run by a camp of… ninjas… and lucky for us, the Army trooper also just happens to be a ninja… an AMERICAN NINJA!!!

THE KILL: There’s something inherently cool about ninjas. Whether it’s because the word ninja is fun to say, or because the idea of running around in black pajamas and kicking the shite outta people is a fantasy most people have at one point or another, or because the idea of being a full time ass-kicker is appealing to just about everyone on the planet—either way, ninjas are cool, and it’s about time they were pimped on the big screen…

That said, while ninjas are cool, there’s also something hilarious about ninjas (it’s a funny word, remember)–but I’m dating myself. Ninjas are funny today; however, ninjas were the bomb back in the mid-80s, so it’s no wonder Hollywood exploited the coolness factor of ninjas and came up with a ninja movie with a twist—an American twist. That’s right, bitch—AMERICAN NINJA!

Bring it on, bitches!

Michael Dudikoff stars as Joe, a quiet, blue eyed pretty boy in the Army. He’s a loner who’s too cool for the rest of the troops (and almost too pretty). He’s also a ninja. Which means he can block flying arrows with a shovel, use a tire iron as a weapon, jump a motorcycle over a wall undetected (in the middle of the day), slice and dice with a sword (or even a sai), throw ninja stars, and kick ass… with a bucket over his head. That’s right folks, he’s a ninja… and he’s white… which makes him… an AMERICAN NINJA!

But what’s a ninja (American or otherwise) without a side-kick? Steve James (the man with two first names) stars as the rough and tumble SIDEKICK, who’s pretty much a fighting expert (but definitely not a ninja), who helps Joe fight to good fight, helps him (Joe) get laid, and knows when to strut his stuff, preferably bare chested and oiled up. Speaking of getting laid, a ninja always needs a special lady friend, a lady he can rescue when she’s captured by other ninjas. In comes Judie Aronson as LADY, the general’s daughter who’s hungry for some action from Joe (aka a deep dickin’) after he saves her from… that’s right… a swarm of attacking ninjas. She’s a foxy chick from the 80s, complete with feathered hair, and a ridiculous amount of lip gloss (if you’re into that sort of thing).

The spin-off BUCKET HEAD NINJA was quickly scrapped…

Finally, what’s a ninja without a truly scary and hardcore nemesis? Not just an ordinary nemesis, but a ninja—a Black Star Ninja! The leader of the ninja camp who’s out to hijack, steal, and sell Army weaponry on the black market for 3 million dollars (!!!), the Black Star Ninja is one badass mofo. He kills fellow ninjas in training just to prove how badass he is, he f*cks up unsuspecting Army troopers like they were a pound of slightly warm butter, and he rocks a thick mane of black hair, just shy of reaching ‘afro’ status. Oh, and he has a star tattooed on his face, under his right eye… that’s right, a black star (hence his name—get it). And what’s an 80s action flick without a corporate, ‘business man’ villain? You gotta have a business man in the mix to organize selling weapons on the black market, right? Especially one with a goofy, undetectable accent, and the ability to have the Black Star Ninja jump at his every command.

They don’t call him Black Star for nothing!

While AMERICAN NINJA has it’s moments of unintentional hilarity, it does deliver the goods in terms of action. From the beginning all the way through the final frame, there’s plenty of ass kicking, gun fighting, car chasing, exploding action, followed by a final battle ninja pajama party to satisfy even the biggest action hound. Dudikoff struts his stuff as the hero, and honestly… I think we should’ve seen more that guy! Unfortunately, besides the NINJA franchise, he didn’t really reach his potential (egos will do that to you). One thing’s for sure, when you sit down with AMERICAN NINJA, you WILL be entertained, you WILL laugh your ass off, and you WILL try busting some ninja moves of your own afterwards. If you haven’t experience the art of the ninja, American style, then you haven’t experienced nothing!

Trailer for AMERICAN NINJA!

TOP DEATH: There’s one ‘slasher-style’ death delivered by the Black Star Ninja, involving two sickles, and an unfortunate MP. This death was more hard core than this movie deserved, hence it’s awesomeness.

TOP ACTION SCENE: I have to pick just one? I’m gonna go with the opening hijacking scene, where we see ninja Joe first bust out his ninja moves. This one scene sets the stage for the entire movie, and will have you screams ‘awesome’ till the very end.

Don’t let the pajamas fool you–I will claw your eyes out if you look at me funny again.

TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: Again, I have to pick just one??? Joe’s sidekick is the reason why ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ came into effect in the military. The one scene that sends his closet door open? He fights a big ninja at the end (oiled up and pretty much shirtless), grabs this ninjas junk and holds on to it a little longer than necessary. If there was ever a fight scene with pent up tension , this was it!

FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Dare I say, the one aspect this flick is lacking is one exploiting women? A few chicks in swim wear at the ninja headquarters, but other than that… we got nothing here! The LADY doesn’t even show us the goods… come on, throw us a frickin’ bone here!

TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:
Joe: Are you ok?
Lady: My clothes are just a little bit wet, thank you!
Joe: Oh, well we can hang them up to dry.
Lady: Are you serious…?
[cut to: hanging clothes up to dry]

DRINKING GAME: Everytime a trained ninja is easily faltered and beat down, you have to drink!

TRIVIA:
The original title was AMERICAN WARRIOR, which can be seen in the film’s official trailer (why redo the trailer for something as simple as a title change, right?).

Everyone knows ninjas are expert motorcyclists!

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