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Bay's Dark Knight?

7 years agoby:
It would certainly seem that Christopher Nolan followed up BATMAN BEGINS with a substantially more volatile sequel, but just how explosive would it have been if director/destructor Michael Bay had landed the gig on THE DARK KNIGHT?

Imagine no more! It turns out that Bay had secretly pursued the opportunity, even writing it himself. And now excerpts from Bay's own awesome (but unfortunately rejected) script have surfaced online, and it's laced with everything that Bay fanatics have come to expect -- nay, demand -- from the mayhem master. Namely: explosions, tits, detonations, computer hacking, missiles, speeding vehicles, and immolation.

Sadly, it wasn't meant to be, and we are left to ponder the potential awesomeness:

BAYTDK

Extra Tidbit: Yup, totally real.
Source: Spill

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10:39AM on 07/09/2008
"We hack the Internet."
"All of them."
Genius.
"We hack the Internet."
"All of them."
Genius.
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9:09PM on 07/08/2008
"Pyrotechnics erupt in the distance. Guitar solo." That's Bay in a nutshell.
"Pyrotechnics erupt in the distance. Guitar solo." That's Bay in a nutshell.
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7:37PM on 07/08/2008
I will now have to spend the rest of my life knowing that TDK is nowhere near as good as it could have been. *Sigh!* Such a shame ...
I will now have to spend the rest of my life knowing that TDK is nowhere near as good as it could have been. *Sigh!* Such a shame ...
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6:56PM on 07/08/2008

Geez

Thank goodness this is fake. What a travesty it would have been. He already ruined Texas Chainsaw and Transformers, let's not let Bay ruin anymore.
Thank goodness this is fake. What a travesty it would have been. He already ruined Texas Chainsaw and Transformers, let's not let Bay ruin anymore.
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5:44PM on 07/08/2008
This was the perfect cure to a bad day at work. Stupid funny. And Muta, I agree... all the funnier when you read the idiotic comments.
This was the perfect cure to a bad day at work. Stupid funny. And Muta, I agree... all the funnier when you read the idiotic comments.
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3:24PM on 07/08/2008
AWESOME!

The fact that people actually believe it's real makes it even better.
AWESOME!

The fact that people actually believe it's real makes it even better.
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3:24PM on 07/08/2008

Hahahahahaha!!!

"Every time Batman is about to crash into a civilian, the camera enters ultra slow motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame. THIS HAPPENS SEVENTEE TIMES." Hahahaha!! genius!

Oh and for all of you who actually thought this was a real script, you people need to get a brain check, something aint right up there.
"Every time Batman is about to crash into a civilian, the camera enters ultra slow motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame. THIS HAPPENS SEVENTEE TIMES." Hahahaha!! genius!

Oh and for all of you who actually thought this was a real script, you people need to get a brain check, something aint right up there.
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3:06PM on 07/08/2008

Awesome!

I hope Bay sees this!
I hope Bay sees this!
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2:45PM on 07/08/2008

kinda sexy

i'm thinking shia would be batman
i'm thinking shia would be batman
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1:30PM on 07/08/2008

Wow!

That shit was hilarious! The sad part is that it actually reads like something Michael Bay would write. Thank you, Nolan.
That shit was hilarious! The sad part is that it actually reads like something Michael Bay would write. Thank you, Nolan.
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12:31PM on 07/08/2008

Yeah Right!

Like Michael Bay can actually read and write! HAH!
Like Michael Bay can actually read and write! HAH!
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12:12PM on 07/08/2008
Rob Roy:

He is making Transformers 2... you will be missed
Rob Roy:

He is making Transformers 2... you will be missed
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11:25AM on 07/08/2008

NEW TWO-FACE PICS

In case anyone's interested...

[link]20Knight%20movie%20camera%20picutres/
In case anyone's interested...

[link]20Knight%20movie%20camera%20picutres/
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10:58AM on 07/08/2008
Hahaha, then we might have Batmobile transforms into Batimus Prime. Yeah right. Funny nonetheless, haha.
Hahaha, then we might have Batmobile transforms into Batimus Prime. Yeah right. Funny nonetheless, haha.
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10:36AM on 07/08/2008
whether it's a joke or not, it's hilariously pathetic. and what's really sad is that it's totally believable.

Like you're thinking, "Wow. This is craptastic, good job micheal bay." I wonder if he should be the ambassador to 70-80's television remake movies.
whether it's a joke or not, it's hilariously pathetic. and what's really sad is that it's totally believable.

Like you're thinking, "Wow. This is craptastic, good job micheal bay." I wonder if he should be the ambassador to 70-80's television remake movies.
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10:34AM on 07/08/2008

hilarious

agreed. anyone who actually believes that Michael Bay wrote that, should never be allowed to watch a movie again. if you're that stupid, then you should be punished for it. just for that - none of you can see the real TDK.
agreed. anyone who actually believes that Michael Bay wrote that, should never be allowed to watch a movie again. if you're that stupid, then you should be punished for it. just for that - none of you can see the real TDK.
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8:46AM on 07/08/2008
Oh my god, you people are funny...
Oh my god, you people are funny...
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8:24AM on 07/08/2008

HILARIOUS

HOW can anyone not understand that this is a joke? How can ANYONE not understand that this is a joke? What the hell is wrong with you people? Anyone who read that and thought it was real... I'm sorry to have to tell you, you are an idiot. And I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just informing you of a FACT which may help you in the future. At least if you know you're stupid, maybe you can get a little bit farther in life by being more careful.
HOW can anyone not understand that this is a joke? How can ANYONE not understand that this is a joke? What the hell is wrong with you people? Anyone who read that and thought it was real... I'm sorry to have to tell you, you are an idiot. And I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just informing you of a FACT which may help you in the future. At least if you know you're stupid, maybe you can get a little bit farther in life by being more careful.
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8:06AM on 07/08/2008

Speechlees (Not in a good way)

As a writer I am always skeptical when someone says they loved my script. After reading that, my question is why am I not writing Transformers 2.
As a writer I am always skeptical when someone says they loved my script. After reading that, my question is why am I not writing Transformers 2.
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8:04AM on 07/08/2008

mmmhmmm

yeah you heard me mike; you suck, balls.
yeah you heard me mike; you suck, balls.
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8:03AM on 07/08/2008

please

if Michael Bay makes anything else, i think i'll probably shoot myself
if Michael Bay makes anything else, i think i'll probably shoot myself
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7:11AM on 07/08/2008

Uh...

that was a huge load of crap,it was like he just took the transformer script and put batman in it.Pretty funny though
that was a huge load of crap,it was like he just took the transformer script and put batman in it.Pretty funny though
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3:41AM on 07/08/2008
Michael Bay sucks, plain and simple. He should go and make commercials or something
Michael Bay sucks, plain and simple. He should go and make commercials or something
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2:30AM on 07/08/2008
"Afterward: one last explosion, this time in slow motion, with tanks flying out of it."

Comedy gold.
"Afterward: one last explosion, this time in slow motion, with tanks flying out of it."

Comedy gold.
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2:15AM on 07/08/2008
That is pretty funny.
That is pretty funny.
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2:01AM on 07/08/2008
Wow come on guys. I actually believe that some of you think this is real. Gimme a break. That red note on the cover gave it away. Nolan is signed on for 3. They can't break that contract. duh. It's an obvious joke AND it's fucking hilarious. I could see this becoming a pretty funny series. Just Imagine a Kevin Smith version of The Dark Knight with Batman taking bong hits with Jay and silent Bob and the Joker tearing through Gotham yelling "Snoooooooggins, Gotham!!" lol
Wow come on guys. I actually believe that some of you think this is real. Gimme a break. That red note on the cover gave it away. Nolan is signed on for 3. They can't break that contract. duh. It's an obvious joke AND it's fucking hilarious. I could see this becoming a pretty funny series. Just Imagine a Kevin Smith version of The Dark Knight with Batman taking bong hits with Jay and silent Bob and the Joker tearing through Gotham yelling "Snoooooooggins, Gotham!!" lol
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1:15AM on 07/08/2008

NO way

There is no possible way that this is really his script. How would he ever be able to get movies made if his writing were that bad? I call shennannigans
There is no possible way that this is really his script. How would he ever be able to get movies made if his writing were that bad? I call shennannigans
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1:12AM on 07/08/2008
Hahaha, well said, Vini... Well said.
Hahaha, well said, Vini... Well said.
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12:51AM on 07/08/2008
fuckin hilarious
fuckin hilarious
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12:39AM on 07/08/2008

Michael Bay CBS parody:

Check it out if you like this article. Explosions galore added to the CBS lineup!

[link]
Check it out if you like this article. Explosions galore added to the CBS lineup!

[link]
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12:34AM on 07/08/2008

17 Times

"Every time Batman is about the crash into a civilian, the camera enters ultra slow-motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame. This happens seventeen times"
"Every time Batman is about the crash into a civilian, the camera enters ultra slow-motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame. This happens seventeen times"
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12:22AM on 07/08/2008
Bale read this script, here's his reaction:

[link]
Bale read this script, here's his reaction:

[link]
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12:21AM on 07/08/2008
Most likely FAKE, but still fuckin hilarious.

"She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world" XD XD
Most likely FAKE, but still fuckin hilarious.

"She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world" XD XD
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12:12AM on 07/08/2008

I'D PAY ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR THE WHOLE THING

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS THE GREATEST FUCKIN THING I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME.
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS THE GREATEST FUCKIN THING I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME.
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12:12AM on 07/08/2008
even though i love Michael Bay... and every movie he has made...

that shit was fucking hilarious! "there was an explosion, and then an explosion inside of an explosion with another explosion.. and the action isnt over, there are 5 more highways in the distance... and a bridge"!!!
even though i love Michael Bay... and every movie he has made...

that shit was fucking hilarious! "there was an explosion, and then an explosion inside of an explosion with another explosion.. and the action isnt over, there are 5 more highways in the distance... and a bridge"!!!
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11:55PM on 07/07/2008
"No one's ever hacked the internet before." LMAO...that was great.
"No one's ever hacked the internet before." LMAO...that was great.
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11:51PM on 07/07/2008
LMFAO.
LMFAO.
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11:51PM on 07/07/2008
"joker unleashes an all-out barrage of missiles, like the biggest fucking missiles you will ever see"

GOLD.
"joker unleashes an all-out barrage of missiles, like the biggest fucking missiles you will ever see"

GOLD.
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11:49PM on 07/07/2008

Thank god it never happened!

Anybody hoping for a thoughtful, in depth look at batman would have been disapointed. I don't care what anybody says, Bay fucked up Transformers and you can't tell me any different. Bay makes gigantic product placement ads and anyone who calls themselves a Bay enthusiast needs to seriously re evaluate theyre taste in movies.
Anybody hoping for a thoughtful, in depth look at batman would have been disapointed. I don't care what anybody says, Bay fucked up Transformers and you can't tell me any different. Bay makes gigantic product placement ads and anyone who calls themselves a Bay enthusiast needs to seriously re evaluate theyre taste in movies.
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11:48PM on 07/07/2008

Two-Face

Hey gang, some Two-Face pictures have FINALLY "become available" online and I gotta say, they're pretty rad. Check 'em out here: tinyurl.com/6egdqn but be warned, (slight) spoilers abound!
Hey gang, some Two-Face pictures have FINALLY "become available" online and I gotta say, they're pretty rad. Check 'em out here: tinyurl.com/6egdqn but be warned, (slight) spoilers abound!
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11:45PM on 07/07/2008

Two-Face

Hey gang, some Two-Face pictures have FINALLY "become available" online and I gotta say, they're pretty rad. Check 'em out here: tinyurl.com/6egdqn but be warned, (slight) spoilers abound!
Hey gang, some Two-Face pictures have FINALLY "become available" online and I gotta say, they're pretty rad. Check 'em out here: tinyurl.com/6egdqn but be warned, (slight) spoilers abound!
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11:45PM on 07/07/2008
hahahahaha CGI AMERICAN FLAG. awesome.
hahahahaha CGI AMERICAN FLAG. awesome.
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11:40PM on 07/07/2008

guitar solo

hahaha, "American flag (CGI)" thats pretty funny
hahaha, "American flag (CGI)" thats pretty funny
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