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Cool Videos: Reservoir Dogs somehow goes XXX

Feb. 25, 2011by: Paul Tassi

Making porno parodies of movies is as old as the film industry, but now the films that ambitious adult entertainment companies are attempting to parody are making me scratch my head.

When I heard there was going to be a XXX parody of RESERVOIR DOGS I thought, "Huh, that movie has an almost entirely male cast, how's that going to work?" Then I saw a screenshot of a parade of WOMEN wearing the suits and skinny ties. That makes more sense, I thought.

But now there's an actual trailer for the reportedly three hour long epic, and it's more perplexing than ever. It's full of the women (poorly) reenacting various famous scenes and lines from the film, but I'm a bit confused on where all the sex is supposed to come in. What scenes in RESERVOIR DOGS could be turned into anything remotely sexy?

I figured it might have something to do with the cop tied to the chair, but they show him and he's actually all bloody from having his ear chopped! This is apparently going to be the most true to the film porn parody in recent memory, outside of the whole gender swap thing.

Check it out for yourself below. The video is SFW because someone thought the hot parts weren't what we wanted to see.

Extra Tidbit: The film stars a pornstar named Lizzie Borden. Your porn name was taken from a famous 19th century murderer? Seriously?
Source: Bleeding Cool

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9:39AM on 02/28/2011
Wow. That looks bad. Even for a porno.
Wow. That looks bad. Even for a porno.
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9:29AM on 02/28/2011

this is...

Hilarious...As Tassi ses, how??? guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Hilarious...As Tassi ses, how??? guess I'll just have to wait and see.
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6:46PM on 02/25/2011

Could be worse.

At least it's Reservoir Dogs XXX and not Old Dogs XXX.
At least it's Reservoir Dogs XXX and not Old Dogs XXX.
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3:52PM on 02/25/2011
Reservoir Dogs was the first DVD I ever bought and this is the first porn that ever made me want to watch for something other than the sex.
Reservoir Dogs was the first DVD I ever bought and this is the first porn that ever made me want to watch for something other than the sex.
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3:23PM on 02/25/2011

.....Acting!

...
...
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2:52PM on 02/25/2011
Should be called Reservoir cats
Should be called Reservoir cats
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+11
2:33PM on 02/25/2011
I don't write scripts, and I don't make porn, but common sense would tell me that if you are going do a porn parody of the scene where the guy gets his ear cut off, you would cut his dick off instead.

Just sayin'.
I don't write scripts, and I don't make porn, but common sense would tell me that if you are going do a porn parody of the scene where the guy gets his ear cut off, you would cut his dick off instead.

Just sayin'.
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2:02PM on 02/25/2011

porn

"Huh, that movie has an almost entirely male cast, how's that going to work?"

UM, GAY PORN. And it'd be just as hot.
"Huh, that movie has an almost entirely male cast, how's that going to work?"

UM, GAY PORN. And it'd be just as hot.
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1:36PM on 02/25/2011

i can see why

they wouldnt want to get actresses that actually resemble Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel
they wouldnt want to get actresses that actually resemble Steve Buscemi and Harvey Keitel
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1:34PM on 02/25/2011
Sitting surfing for porn, Tassi? Figures...
Sitting surfing for porn, Tassi? Figures...
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10:04PM on 02/25/2011
You really just love to hate on any Tassi article that comes along dont you chambone. Did Tassi used to beat you in high school or something? If so, my opinion of you so far is that you probably deserved it.
You really just love to hate on any Tassi article that comes along dont you chambone. Did Tassi used to beat you in high school or something? If so, my opinion of you so far is that you probably deserved it.
1:26PM on 02/25/2011

I can see the sex scenes already....

1) A smokin' hot waitress in the diner finds out she didn't get a tip from Mr. Pink. So she takes him in the back and sucks his dick to earn her tip. :-)

2) Mr. Orange and Mr. White are looking at the diamond store and Mr. Orange asks "What happens if the manager won't give you the diamonds?" Mr. White does a horrible cliched laugh and gives a terrible narration as we see a cheap dissolve to inside the store. We then see both Orange and White banging a gorgeous blonde manager at the same to
1) A smokin' hot waitress in the diner finds out she didn't get a tip from Mr. Pink. So she takes him in the back and sucks his dick to earn her tip. :-)

2) Mr. Orange and Mr. White are looking at the diamond store and Mr. Orange asks "What happens if the manager won't give you the diamonds?" Mr. White does a horrible cliched laugh and gives a terrible narration as we see a cheap dissolve to inside the store. We then see both Orange and White banging a gorgeous blonde manager at the same to convince her to give them the diamonds and they won't hurt anyone

3) After Mr. Blonde steals a car and kidnaps the cop throwing him in the trunk, he picks up a good looking hooker and bangs her in the car while the cop listens but is still tied up.


C'mon...this shit writes itself!
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5:16PM on 02/25/2011
Of course, it'll end with Mr Pink, Mr White, Mr Orange, Eddie and Joe having a Mexican standoff / gangbang.
Of course, it'll end with Mr Pink, Mr White, Mr Orange, Eddie and Joe having a Mexican standoff / gangbang.
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