King is a Snacker

Mr. Stephen King has quite the pedigree. Best-selling novelist in the world? Check. Most financially successful horror writer of all time? Check. Appeared as himself on an episode of The Simpsons? Check. Made me pee my pants when I was fifteen? Err, check. But to discover that Mr. King is also blessed with the ability to create the perfect “heavy bag”? Man oh man. Some dudes have all the luck.

As part of his duties as a columnist for Entertainment Weekly, this week King playfully deconstructs what he believes to be one of the most essential and underrated aspects of the cinematic experience—the concession stand. Even when discussing the pleasures of stuffing one’s own face with tooth-rotters, King’s literary panache is at the forefront. Marvel as he waxes poetic on his favorite movie snack, the junior mint:

My candy of choice is Junior Mints. And while I don’t bring bootleg food into the movies, I do bring bootleg toothpicks. Then, as I relax in my seat, I take a toothpick and poke five or six Junior Mints onto it. It ends the dreaded Chocolate Hand, and it’s also kind of fun to eat candy off a stick. I call them Mint-Kebabs.

I’ve always admired this brand youthful exuberance that seems inherent in the man. He wrote “Carrie” and “IT” and “The Stand “and he also likes poking holes in his candy. And as for that “heavy bag?” Well you’re just gonna have to find out what the hell that is for yourself by clicking HERE. Trust me it’s worth it.