CONAN
Published by: THQ
Developed by:
Nihilistic
Available on
XBOX 360 & PlayStation 3
INTRODUCTION:
So here we have
Conan, a little game that seems to be arriving approximately 20 years after it
would have been relevant. With that being said, there have always been rumours
going around about the man who would be the next big screen Barbarian, so who
knows what’ll happen? In this game, you will assume the loincloth of our
favourite Cimmerian, attempting to save the Hyborian world from a series of evil
enemies. Grab your controllers and your favourite beverage cause we’re about to
embark on an epic adventure that you probably won’t forget- for about 2 weeks.
GAMEPLAY:
So, when you fire
this bad boy up, you’re automatically going to think that Conan is a God of War
rip-off, and you wouldn’t be wrong. Obviously THQ isn’t stupid, they’re aware
that GOW has a massive following, and that you also can’t get anything close on
a next-gen system until the inevitable God of War III on the PS3. With that
being said, I must say that while this game is a bit derivative, it’s not a
piece of garbage that doesn’t deserve any merit.
Unfortunately for
Conan though, this review won’t give it a whole lot of points for originality.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed playing the game and thought that it wasn’t a
total dog, but there isn’t much that sets it apart from the standards set on a
previous-gen system. You’ve got a very similar control system, and it works.
You’ve got your jumps, your slashes, your evasion stick, and your
context-sensitive timing blocks that result in brutal finishing moves.
Countering is actually a huge part of this game that will leave you a lonely
barbarian if you aren’t careful. There’s also a fairly complex magic system that
mimics other games which is nice- who doesn’t love rage attacks and powerful
magic blasts?
However, unlike
God of War, Conan isn’t quite as layered or deep. It doesn’t have a rich,
complex puzzle system that will leave you scratching your head and using
strategy to plan your next move. Instead, you’ll find a lot of switches or
levers and that’s about all there is to it. I personally like that, seeing as I
don’t have the time or patience to solve puzzles, but some gamers find this to
be a more immersive experience. You’ll also notice that the story takes a fair
hit too, its way less involved than God of War, and pretty simple. As I
mentioned before, you probably won’t remember this game for too long after you
slash your way through it. It’s also pretty easy too, once you get the hang of
things.
The boss battles
are pretty cool though, as you’ll face foes who are hundreds of times bigger
than you. I hope that you really like to fight a lot though because repetition
was the name of the game for me. You’ve got to deal with constant quick-cutting
context scenes where you have to press a series of buttons in order to achieve
the desired effect. This isn’t for every boss, but I found it quite annoying at
times and that the game became way more trial and error this way.
Wondering whether
or not you should buy this game for your 12 year old kid? Well, don’t- Conan
features buckets of gore, and plenty of bountiful wenches who are more than
willing to get naked for Conan when he rescues them from certain peril. Then
again, if you’re into that sort of thing, then this might just be digital
nirvana for you, if you love big naked pixelated boobs.
Gameplay: 7/10
GRAPHICS:
Conan doesn’t
exactly break any graphical barriers with his new game. This isn’t to say that
Conan’s a slouch, but when your game doesn’t hold up to a game that was
presented on a previous system, that isn’t so impressive. Enemies are a bit
blocky, and environments tend to be a little drab at times. Conan himself looks
really good- he’s modeled well and quite detailed. The other thing worth
mentioning is the bosses, who look great as well. Effects are okay, but nothing
spectacular. This game could have easily been made for the PS2 and would have
been only decent looking there too. There’s nothing about this that makes you
understand why exactly it’s featured on next-gen systems.
Graphics: 6.5/10
AUDIO:
Audio isn’t
exactly Conan’s strong suit either unfortunately. The ambient music is good
enough, but the voice acting is just off. Conan sounds sort of like a wiener,
and all of his foes are so standard and bland as well. Audio can make a game,
game companies shouldn’t just settle for standard stuff like this. Everything
about the audio in Conan just screams ‘mediocre’, and sounds funny while doing
it.
Audio: 5.5/10
FINAL VERDICT:
So Conan isn’t the
worst game I’ve played, but really it is a sub-par outing for newer systems.
It’ll have to tide you over until the next awesome game comes along, and that’s
all it’ll do so don’t go out and buy it. Don’t get me wrong either, it has its
moments and isn’t garbage, but you’ll blaze through it pretty quickly and then
be completely done with it afterwards, as there just isn’t a lot of replay value
to be seen here. Perhaps they should have waited until the next movie came out,
so that this game would sell more copies. Where’s Schwarzenegger when you need
him?
FINAL SCORE: 6.5/10
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