Last Updated on August 3, 2021
It seems that few were green with mean about the last Face-Off Winner being that little lucky bastard himself, Leprechaun. My condolences go out to the Basket Case Belial fans, but like I said, ol’ Lep-y did have the home holiday advantage.
Today, we’ve got an ear-piercing eyeful of a match-up for your reading/viewing pleasure: Yes, it’s the Battle of the Scream Queens of the past and today! Prepare for every slasher’s favorite sister, Jamie Lee Curtis, to go up against every slasher’s favorite niece, Danielle Harris! Seeing as how these queens have plenty of fight (to stay alive) in them, this should be one helluva contest!
Toughness
Ms. Curtis certainly has a knack for staving off masked men by any means possible. Even though her sweet, all-American girl looks may lead you to think she’s soft, when the shit hits the fan, she knows how to fight back and stay alive. Her toughness hit an all-time high in H20 where she literally called out her brother for a beatdown. I still say that Resurrection never existed.
Ms. Harris started battling the Boogeyman when she was just a little girl. Even though she cried a lot, that takes balls. Plus, when she learned her character was going to be killed off in Halloween 6, she declined to participate. She has no qualms about mixing it up with Victor Crowley, zombies, or Mr. Myers. However, Michael did finally get her in Zombie’s Halloween II.
Scream
The melody that bellows forth from Jamie’s pipes is unforgettable and impossibly original. Loud, high-pitched, and full of fear. It’s the reason they coined the phrase “scream queen”.
Danielle’s shrill screech could possibly break glass. And she’s been shouting it, again, since she was but a wee little girl. In fact, I bet she modeled her shrieks after the woman whose niece she played.
Hotness
Jamie exuded a sweet, virginal hotness (which is why she was always able to survive her psychotic stalkers). She didn’t develop a true hotness until she “went legit and showed her tits”. However, we all know that Ben Tramer would have totally deflowered her… if he hadn’t burned up.
Even though we literally watched Danielle grow up in horror over the years, there’s no denying how hot an adult Scream Queen she has become. And many a horror geek truly lost it when Ms. Harris partook in her first ever nude scene in Halloween (2007). A very tight little body, if I do say so.
Dateability
She’s the obligatory virgin! It depends on your taste level whether or not you’d like to take her out. If you’re looking for a sweet, wholesome girl with a brain, then this Scream Queen is the one for you. If you’re looking to score with a slut, you need look elsewhere (most likely the morgue… because those are the ones, at least in horror flicks, that usually end up dead). For some reason, I like dating the good girls.
This cutie seems to have the best of both worlds. A perfectly sweet, fun-loving look, but not afraid to get hot and heavy if things are going well on the first date. Such a deliciously petite little package that just fits so perfectly in your pocket, I swear, you would want to take her anywhere!
Weapon Skills
For a virginal female lead, Ms. Curtis sure had a way with the weaponry, displaying accurate force with a knife and an axe. She even showed some creativity by fashioning weapons out of a wire hanger and even knitting needles (BTW, every time I see a pair of knitting needles, I think of her). Even though she usually starts off with nothing, she always finds a way to obtain an implement of death whether she’s in the closet, at the prom, or in an abandoned school.
Despite her petite size, Ms. Harris still had no problem taking a big ol’ hatchet to that behemoth, Victor Crowley. She’s also been seen firing off a shotgun once or twice. And who can forget, again at a very young age, her homage to her uncle with a sharp pair of scissors.
Jamie Lee Curtis
Well, it makes sense that these two hard-fighting Scream Queens would go down to the wire. It would have been pretty tough for Ms. Harris to beat the “one that started it all”, but she does deserve props for going out strong. What do you guys think? Is Ms. Curtis simply untouchable? Or does someone else deserve a shot at being Scream Queen queen? Let me know! Actually, if you have any ideas for future Face-Offs, please feel free to shoot me an email at [email protected].
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