Horror Ten Spot: Hottest Zombie Chicks!

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

Still recovering from Halloween night? You damn well should be! Don’t fret though friends, we’ve got just the antidote to make that pounding head and bellyache subside a little bit quicker. As you know, “The Walking Dead” season 3 well underway, and with zombies once again eating at the brain on a weekly basis, now seems like a perfect time to call out some favorites. Our favorite Zombie Chicks, that is! Many female zombies have come and gone on screen, but few have the sheer attractiveness to shine through all the puss, blood and rigor mortis to, if not retain said allure, in some sick way heighten it. You’re telling me you wouldn’t pump two kinds of wood in Amber Heard’s zombified ass in ZOMBIELAND? Liar. Check out the entire list of our Ten Hottest Zombie Chicks!

#1. ANNA FALCHI (CEMETERY MAN)

If there’s proof of a higher power, it comes in the pure form of Anna Falchi’s physical being. This woman is lust incarnate, truly one of the sexiest women put on Earth. I mean, even when reanimated as a dirt-ridden corpse in CEMETERY MAN, Rupert Evert, a gay man, can’t even resist her sultry sexual advances. Can’t blame him, he is a mere mortal after-all. Sadly, the Finnish stunner, 22 at the time of production, sadly never made much of an American acting career, though continues to work in Europe. No matter, zombie hounds will ever have her image seared on the brain.

#2. LINNEA QUIGLEY (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD)

Frankly, Ms. Quigley inspired this entire catalog. The sassy 80s punk rocker chick Trash in the inimitable RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, decked in fire red pompadour, has morbid fantasies of being eaten alive by a gaggle of slimy old men. Of course she’s obliged, but not before she does a sexy graveyard striptease. Come on now, who can forget those sexy thigh high legwarmers, the leather miniskirt, the spiked arm warmers, the shaved bush, the to die for booty? Trash exudes ultimate sexiness, before and after death.

#3. MELINDA CLARKE (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III)

Wow. Melinda Clarke, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III. What can a man say? After Linnea Quigley set a ridiculously high bar in Dan O’Bannon’s first in the series, producers clearly wanted to up the ante. Not sure about the ante, but boners certainly went up when Clarke morphs into a walker, exuding the kind of sex appeal reserved for alt-sex scene at Kink.com. Gorgeous face, supple bosom, the shredded garb, the spiked shoulders, the nipple and facial piercings, the smeared blood, the chains…this zombie bitch basically bridges heaven and hell!

#4. ROXY SAINT (ZOMBIE STRIPPERS)

With a title like ZOMBIE STRIPPERS, truth is we could fete any number of scantily clad hotties seen in the so-bad-it’s-funny-B-movie. I have a personal predilection for supermodel Shamron Moore and her double-D’s, sadly there aren’t many photos that does her frame justice. So, consider this an all inclusive salute to the entire cast, with extra emphasis and the brunette sex-hound Roxy Saint (pictured above). Perfect face, the sexy dripping mascara, her nubile body…exceptional! Shouts to Penny Drake, Jenna Jameson, Whitney Anderson, Jeanette Souza, Carmit Levit and the rest!

#5. AMBER HEARD (ZOMBIELAND)

More of a glorified cameo, but how could I reconcile omitting possibly the sexiest woman in show biz, the buxom Amber Heard, from our list of sexy ass zombie bitches. Besides, who as a flesh-eating corpse appears more doable than 406? Very few, if any. Hell, if I were Columbus, I would have willingly copped the cursed zombie fever if meant copulating with and sounding the Amber alert, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the finer things in life…even after death!

#6. MARINA PIERRO (LIVING DEAD GIRL)

Can’t conscionably conduct a serious zombie bitch compilation without tipping a cap to some of the Eruo slags that found prominence in the 70s and 80s. In Jean Rollin’s THE LIVING DEAD GIRL, the fair haired Marina Pierro had looks as disarming as her bite. Reason for this is, though she’s certainly a reanimated dead body, her aesthetic doesn’t adhere to the decaying, flesh rotting look we associate with zombies. Still, her looks could kill, and if her irretractable gaze lures you in, you’re a fucking done deal!

#7. MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ (RESIDENT EVIL)

Michelle “The Bod” Rodriguez is something else…tough, sassy, comfortable in her own skin…qualities that add up to an unparalleled sexiness. Here’s a chick that’ll beat you up then f*ck the shit out of you, a quality we all should admire. In RESIDENT EVIL, her sultry sickness as a virus-infected hottie only seems to hike the raw sex appeal. Bitch is foul, grimy, hungry, rocking bloodshot eyes, cracked up lips and running mascara. I’ve seen less repulsive pornstars!

#8. KATHLEEN KINMONT (BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR)

Granted, as an actual zombie, she’s none too becoming, but come on, remember those giant tatas popping out of that bra during HALLOWEEN 4? Sure you do! Kathleen Kinmont continued her memorable horror resume with BRIDE OF RE-ANIMATOR, albeit in a far less glamorous role. Her sex appeal is largely quashed upon reanimation, but you’d be pretty hard-pressed to find a gnarlier, nastier fem-zom in any movie. Bitch is downright disgusting, sodden in gruesome viscera throughout most of the picture.

#9. VICTORIA HOPKINS (DOGHOUSE)

I must admit, DOGHOUSE is the one flick on here I’ve yet to see, but that hasn’t stopped me from noticing its sexy female zombie lead, played by stunner Victoria Hopkins. Quite the looker as you can see above (ha), with extra sex appeal derived from the purity of her chaste wedding gown. Of course, the gown grows just as dirty and bloody as she does when morphing into a flesh-starved walker. I know marriage takes years off your life, but good goddamn!

#10. SONJA BENNETT (FIDO)

A blue-eyed, fair-haired zombie bitch decked in matronly 50s attire? HEAT! Sonja Bennett fits the role to a T in the 2006 horror comedy FIDO, despite rocking one of the dirtiest mouths this side of Sasha Grey. I think it’s the conservative fashion sense that makes her appear buttoned down, but when she flashes those blood-parched incisors, watch the hell out! The Canadian born Bennett has a sexy Scandinavian look, pared down by the zombie makeup of course, but if you question her sex appeal, go see the SWEET HEREAFTER at once!