I’m just going to write out the name to this movie and see what kind of response it will illicit: DEATH RACE 3000. Yup, just like I thought, you just crapped your pants, didn’t you? It’s cool; I just finished changing my underwear too. And besides having a way cool name for a movie, it is a remake of the David Carradine/Sylvester Stallone film DEATH RACE 2000, which means it’s like 1000 points better! And if you can’t tell by the title, this mofo is going to be a super action flick because CRANK star Jason Statham has been confirmed to be in the film as well. So now you’ve got a kick-ass name for a film, an upgraded title, and a bald, buff, martial arts dude to star…someone cue the explosions!
As for the plot, it goes a little something like this: In the future (2020), the Death Race is a globally popular sporting event, and there ain’t a bigger badass in the sport other than Frankenstein, the masked fan favorite racer who during the race will kill people by using his crazy driving tactics and heavily armed car…because it’s called a Death Race. Anyways, the other participants in these races are prisoners and the racetrack is part of a complex prison facility called Terminal Island. I guess dying on the race track is better than getting raped in the shower.
So it turns out that the fan favorite, Frankenstein, has died a bunch of times in these Death Races, but because he is an advertising and merchandise commodity, the fans are tricked that he just gets hurt in the crashes, while the people running the race just put another lowly prisoner behind the mask and plop them in the car and bingo, new Frankenstein. Too bad they couldn’t have done the same thing with Dale Earnhardt.
The film follows the character named Jenson, who was framed in the murder of his wife, and of course has now assumed the mantle of Frankenstein. The warden of Terminal Island makes a deal with Jenson, if he wins the Death Race, he can have his freedom. But if he loses, he can have his…death!
If only Nascar was like this I might actually watch that crap.
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