New The Dark Knight Rises toys reveal a cute lil’ Bane

A few peeks at some new THE DARK KNIGHT RISES merchandise reveal a closer look at the Batwing, as well as the Batman figure (which looks exactly like the last one) and some of those cute, cuddly-wuddly Pop! Heroes vinyl figures. Take a look at that Bane…isn’t he just precious?

I can see myself tucking in my son at night, “Here you go, son, here’s your water, your blanky, and…oh, and you’re widdle pal Bane. Nighty night. Sweet dreams. No nightmares of a muscle-bound man in a mask with a vendetta against you.”

Take a gander at the goods below:

I get that these toys are marketed to a younger audience, but aside from just trying to milk the money from your wallets, I just don’t get the concept of all this ridiculous “super armor” bullshit that has no place in the actual film it represents.  I’ve never once seen Batman wear anything this ridiculous in the movie, nor have I seen Spider-Man ride a quad. 

Just as a test, let’s see what Batman would look like in the movie with that armor on.

What do you think?  Could it work?

You can probably purchase your own Batwing and bring it to the theater and make flying sounds in the theater on July 20th, 2012. Just as long as you don’t text during the movie, I don’t give a shit.