Trailer for The VelociPastor: the best grindhouse movie never made

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

The whole ’70s/’80s throwback trend has been over-saturated with imitators for the past few years, but today we bring you a trailer for what may be the best grindhouse movie never made: THE VELOCIPASTOR. Watch it below for some laughs. Here is the synopsis:

A priest loses his parents, and in his hour of darkness begins to question his faith. Of course, during this dark period he is also scratched by an ancient piece of ember, allowing him to transform into a dinosaur and give in to his baser urges. Soon he discovers that indulging in these murderous desires might not be all evil. Sometimes, to make things right, people have to die. Sometimes a lot of people. Enter the man of the clawth. How long has it been since your last confession?

The short is written and directed by Brendan Steere, who tells us how he gave it that genuine aged look: “It was shot on 16mm film. After shooting, I baked the film in an oven at 200 degrees for ten minutes, and then ran into my bathroom – which is the only room in the apartment with no windows – and scratched it across everything I could find. And then I sent it to the developer and cut it.”

THE VELOCIPASTOR was created a student project, but Steere confesses, “I’d love to make a full one if there was a demand.” I know you guys would love to see it as a feature just as much as I do, so spread the word.