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Burlesqua Aguilera

05.05.2009

It goes against all of my principles to dislike Christina Aguilera but for whatever reason, I do. I mean, she's a Latino chick with gargantuan tits and no desire to cover them up. It should be a no-brainer. But alas, no. Still, maybe this will help:

Aguilera will play an "ambitious small-town girl with a big voice" who finds love, family and success in a burlesque bar in LA.

I love that nearly this exact movie has been made about three hundred times but never once accurately. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm pretty sure the closest we've ever gotten to this is premise of bright eyed girl looks to make a splash in LA is 8MM. I'm pretty sure that TRANSFORMERS is more grounded in reality than this will be. Especially if she's looking for an uplifting story in a burlesque bar. You might as well look for one in an abattoir, or a WWII concentration camp.

CLICK IMAGE TO OPEN GALLERY & SEE MORE PICS...

Extra Tidbit: And I can't believe this chick is going where Mary Elizabeth Winstead went with MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Source: Empire

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6:11AM on 05/06/2009

Skank

This chick is fug beyond belief! She looks like a transsexual rodeo clown.
This chick is fug beyond belief! She looks like a transsexual rodeo clown.
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1:07AM on 05/06/2009
I am what they call a Christina Aguilera fan, and I will probably see this movie sooner or later after it is released, but it sounds pretty God-awful. She should do like Alicia Keyes and find some really badass role that doesn't have anything to do with singing--she already sings and plays herself in music videos, she should try something new in movies.
I am what they call a Christina Aguilera fan, and I will probably see this movie sooner or later after it is released, but it sounds pretty God-awful. She should do like Alicia Keyes and find some really badass role that doesn't have anything to do with singing--she already sings and plays herself in music videos, she should try something new in movies.
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9:23PM on 05/05/2009
I couldn't care less about this movie but she's still one of the hottest broads ever.
I couldn't care less about this movie but she's still one of the hottest broads ever.
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7:17PM on 05/05/2009

Get rid of James Thoo

Am I the only one who hates James Thoo's writing? (Rhetorical question: I know there are many of us because I've seen similar comments before.) I've never voiced my opinion until now, but Jesus Christ, I can always tell within two sentences if he's written an article, because they always annoy the piss out of me. Just thought I'd join the ever-growing choir of Thoo haters. Sadly it seems like he's the most active writer on the site, and lately whenever I see an article written by him I just
Am I the only one who hates James Thoo's writing? (Rhetorical question: I know there are many of us because I've seen similar comments before.) I've never voiced my opinion until now, but Jesus Christ, I can always tell within two sentences if he's written an article, because they always annoy the piss out of me. Just thought I'd join the ever-growing choir of Thoo haters. Sadly it seems like he's the most active writer on the site, and lately whenever I see an article written by him I just skip the first twenty paragraphs of bad jokes and (often embarrassing) opinions and look for the red font.
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5:54PM on 05/05/2009
Sounds like Coyote Ugly, with the exception of a Burlesque bar.
Sounds like Coyote Ugly, with the exception of a Burlesque bar.
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4:48PM on 05/05/2009
Sounds like Showgirls.
Sounds like Showgirls.
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3:40PM on 05/05/2009

Just do porn

Skip the feature...make a porno...much more satisfying result. Plus she looks like a pornstar.
Skip the feature...make a porno...much more satisfying result. Plus she looks like a pornstar.
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3:26PM on 05/05/2009
Her boobies are awesome. That is all.
Her boobies are awesome. That is all.
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