Damnit Chloe! The 24 movie script gets shot down

Bad news for all us 24 fans dissatisfied by the series’ finale, and hoping for redemption in the promised feature film. Fox has shot down the latest script for the project written by State of Play’s Billy Ray. No word on what exactly they disapproved of, but perhaps there weren’t enough unnecessary subplots for them.

Talking to EW, exec producer Howard Gordon says all hope isn’t lost. “As far as I know, it is in suspended animation, There is talk about re-approaching it. I understand (director/producer) Tony Scott is meeting with Kiefer to talk about ideas. People are still talking about it.”

People are still talking about it? Good, you idiots. How hard is it to make a 24 movie? I mean seriously. You already did it once with 24 Redemption, which was surprisingly well done, and you have one of the country’s favorite action heroes of all time in the lead role. How can you f*ck that up?

My biggest question is whether the movie would be in real time, and I supposed it would kind of have to be to maintain the series’ tradition. That could work, but it’s going to be one hell of a lot to cram into two hours to live up to the levels of absurdity we’ve seen from 24 in years past.

I, for one, always believed the show should end with the ever-immortal Jack Bauer making the final sacrifice for his country. I think that would have made for great television, but greedy as they were, Fox killed that idea to make way for a film. Which now might not even get made. Great job guys, really.