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You cannot unsee the brilliantly awful trailer for Sharknado starring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid

Jul. 10, 2013by:

Um, what the f*ck?

I remember hearing the title SHARKNADO and SyFy and completely disregarding anything else about the project. Somehow that means I missed the cast that includes Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, and John Heard. I also shut my brain off from processing the movie's existence once I heard it was produced by The Asylum, those notorious purveyors of cheaply made mockbusters. But, at some point between shutting my brain off and turning it back on, I watched the trailer for SHARKNADO.

Oh, dear god, now I actually want to watch it! It looks so terribly bad that I just need to witness the porn-level acting, Atari caliber special effects, and Tara Reid looking somewhat human. The trailer is complete garbage, but it will be available on basic cable, so I won't have to pay to see it.

Here's the "plot":

When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature's deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.

Like a car crash, I just want to see how bad this is. If this movie was hitting Redbox, I wouldn't shell out a single buck for it. But, it is premiering this Thursday at 9pm EST on Syfy, so I may DVR it and bask in true shite.

Source: YouTube

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4:36PM on 07/11/2013
You can't watch these movies for more than 30 minutes or so before you've seen enough. I just checked the guide and '2-Headed Shark Attack' comes on rigth afterwards.
You can't watch these movies for more than 30 minutes or so before you've seen enough. I just checked the guide and '2-Headed Shark Attack' comes on rigth afterwards.
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1:38PM on 07/11/2013
I would eat human shit to see this.
I would eat human shit to see this.
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11:50AM on 07/11/2013
It's very obvious they're self aware of the kind of movie they're making and I for one cannot wait to watch it tonight.
It's very obvious they're self aware of the kind of movie they're making and I for one cannot wait to watch it tonight.
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11:40AM on 07/11/2013
We seriously allow money to be thrown around to make movies like this? Awesome!
We seriously allow money to be thrown around to make movies like this? Awesome!
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10:47AM on 07/11/2013
Steve Sanders!!
Steve Sanders!!
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8:48AM on 07/11/2013
"Let's throw bombs into the tornado" I was sold at that point.
"Let's throw bombs into the tornado" I was sold at that point.
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5:52AM on 07/11/2013
I hope there's a scene where the mayor tries to hide *that* from the public.
I hope there's a scene where the mayor tries to hide *that* from the public.
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+12
2:53AM on 07/11/2013
"We're gonna need a bigger chopper." Never has there been a more poignant homage to "Jaws". Spielberg just shit himself.
"We're gonna need a bigger chopper." Never has there been a more poignant homage to "Jaws". Spielberg just shit himself.
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2:40AM on 07/11/2013
Pacific Rim is for pussies! Sharknado rules!!!! lol
Pacific Rim is for pussies! Sharknado rules!!!! lol
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+3
11:03PM on 07/10/2013
Laughed so hard. A tornado of sharks. Brilliant!
Laughed so hard. A tornado of sharks. Brilliant!
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10:36PM on 07/10/2013
laughed my ass off lol
laughed my ass off lol
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10:19PM on 07/10/2013

How many "past their sell-date" actors can we pack in one movie?

It's sad because, once upon a time, John Heard was a respected actor and Tara Reid actually does light comedy well. Ian Ziering was never what you'd call . . . competent, though. Oh well, this should be good for a few laughs. I almost wish they'd get John Barrowman to improvise a few lines, such as the "Why don't I take you home and eat your p***y?" line from SHARK ATTACK 2: MEGALODON. I doubt this cast could come up with anything quite so memorable.
It's sad because, once upon a time, John Heard was a respected actor and Tara Reid actually does light comedy well. Ian Ziering was never what you'd call . . . competent, though. Oh well, this should be good for a few laughs. I almost wish they'd get John Barrowman to improvise a few lines, such as the "Why don't I take you home and eat your p***y?" line from SHARK ATTACK 2: MEGALODON. I doubt this cast could come up with anything quite so memorable.
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8:38PM on 07/10/2013
Coming soon: The Asylum "Monster-suffix" Criterion box set.
Coming soon: The Asylum "Monster-suffix" Criterion box set.
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8:36PM on 07/10/2013
"We're gonna need a bigger chopper".

How long til we see this film written in the Awfully Good column?
"We're gonna need a bigger chopper".

How long til we see this film written in the Awfully Good column?
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7:59PM on 07/10/2013

Sharknado 2:

Sharknado vs. Hurriconda. Boom.
Sharknado vs. Hurriconda. Boom.
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6:52AM on 07/11/2013
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
6:10PM on 07/10/2013

I'm ready

to laugh my ass off to the fullest.
to laugh my ass off to the fullest.
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+1
6:04PM on 07/10/2013
Sharknado bitches!
Sharknado bitches!
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5:34PM on 07/10/2013
OMG!... That looked so damn funny! This is going to be such an awesome movie. I like how the setting and the actors are dead serious. ...As if they're not starring in the most retarded movie ever.
OMG!... That looked so damn funny! This is going to be such an awesome movie. I like how the setting and the actors are dead serious. ...As if they're not starring in the most retarded movie ever.
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+2
5:26PM on 07/10/2013
Oh my god, I have GOT TO SEE THIS!
Oh my god, I have GOT TO SEE THIS!
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+1
5:23PM on 07/10/2013
Aaaawwwww, c'mon, the trailer didn't look that bad.
Aaaawwwww, c'mon, the trailer didn't look that bad.
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5:18PM on 07/10/2013

"...What'dya say I take you home and eat your pussy."

Ok, bottom line: That shit has *GOT* to be mentioned by someone somewhere in this Syfy crapfest!

although...this is Tara Reid we're talking about here, so...
Ok, bottom line: That shit has *GOT* to be mentioned by someone somewhere in this Syfy crapfest!

although...this is Tara Reid we're talking about here, so...
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5:08PM on 07/10/2013
This movie is ridiculously entertaining and better than many summer blockbusters. Sneer and jeer all you want, but a bigger budget does not automatically equal a better movie. I had more fun watching Sharknado than I did Iron Man 3.
This movie is ridiculously entertaining and better than many summer blockbusters. Sneer and jeer all you want, but a bigger budget does not automatically equal a better movie. I had more fun watching Sharknado than I did Iron Man 3.
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4:53PM on 07/10/2013

Did I just really see.....

There were so many amazing visuals in that trailer, but did I really see him cut a shark in half with a chain saw!! That is f'ng awesome!
There were so many amazing visuals in that trailer, but did I really see him cut a shark in half with a chain saw!! That is f'ng awesome!
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4:48PM on 07/10/2013

Dude!

thats freakin awesome! in the same way a fat chick dancing in a bikini is awesome. i mean, its ugly, but you cant turn away or stop laughing!
i love that it ONLY picked up sharks.
thats freakin awesome! in the same way a fat chick dancing in a bikini is awesome. i mean, its ugly, but you cant turn away or stop laughing!
i love that it ONLY picked up sharks.
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4:32PM on 07/10/2013
The only way they could make this better is if the humans built giant robot sharknados to fight these.
The only way they could make this better is if the humans built giant robot sharknados to fight these.
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4:23PM on 07/10/2013

Is it wrong that my main problem is that it's a hurricane?

But then in the trailer they show a funnel cloud, which is a waterspout ie tornado.
Seriously Asylum, fuck you. And the two movies my mom accidentally rented last week when all she wanted was Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, and Jack the Giant Slayer.
But then in the trailer they show a funnel cloud, which is a waterspout ie tornado.
Seriously Asylum, fuck you. And the two movies my mom accidentally rented last week when all she wanted was Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, and Jack the Giant Slayer.
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4:19PM on 07/10/2013
This looks exactly as dumb as it should be. The only thing missing was someone actually riding one of the flying sharks.
This looks exactly as dumb as it should be. The only thing missing was someone actually riding one of the flying sharks.
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4:22PM on 07/10/2013
I'm sure it'll happen.
I'm sure it'll happen.
4:17PM on 07/10/2013
I usually steer clear of the SyFy/Asylum shitshows, but this... I might have to watch.
I usually steer clear of the SyFy/Asylum shitshows, but this... I might have to watch.
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