Last Updated on August 2, 2021
THE BLACK SHEEP is an ongoing column featuring different takes on films that either the writer HATED, but that the majority of film fans LOVED, or that the writer LOVED, but that most others LOATH. We’re hoping this column will promote constructive and geek fueled discussion. Dig in!
Constantine (2005)
Directed by Francis Lawrence
"Too often, (director) Lawrence relies on CGI to create to the action or tension, failing more times than not."
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who still digs Keanu Reeves. People call him stiff (he is), one-dimensional (he is), or dull (he’s not), but I still love his movies. I’ve sat through the good (Devil’s Advocate) and sat through the shit, (The Replacements) but if there’s one consistent factor, its Keanu. The man can’t escape himself. With his new flick John Wick hitting theaters soon (looks quite badass) and the new TV show Constantine debuting on NBC this month (Oct 24th), it seems like a dandy time to revisit his first post-Matrix genre release: Constantine.
Based on the DC Comic Hellblazer by Alan Moore, Stephen R. Bissette, and John Totleben, the film’s story is interesting enough. John Constantine (Reeves obviously) is the man with the golden touch, born with the ability to see and even work with the demons and angels who live amongst the regular folk. He learned this at an early age, tried to off himself only to return with his powers increased. Now he’s like the Exorcist Punisher, sending demons back where they belong (that’s hell). He’s a heavy drinking, heavy smoking anti-hero who wants to do enough good for a ticket to heaven. What’s not to dig about that?
Well…
I don’t outright hate Constantine. There’s plenty of good here with mostly top-notch acting from Rachel Weisz, Dijmon Hounsou, and Tilda Swinton. Weisz can act, but she doesn’t look or act like a detective and her relationship with Reeves plays forced. I like Hounsou and Swinton, both who come to play with mostly limited characters. It’s interesting to see a young and likeable Shia LaBouf as Constantine’s right hand man.
For the bad guys, I’ve always loved Peter Stormare since Fargo, but holy shit…talk about typecast. One would think after playing the devil that an actor couldn’t go back to playing bad guys, but he’s become THE go to evil foe. The same can't be said for Bush lead singer Gavin Rossdale, who's notable but forgettable as a bad 1930's clichéd gangster…providing nothing more than a fancy suit and nice hair.
Then there’s Keanu…but I’ll get to him. First, I gotta bitch about my main issue with Constantine…director Francis Lawrence. The movie runs too long and isn’t as interesting or nasty dark as it could have been (it should’ve been a David Fincher film). As with his other big hit I Am Legend, (not counting the Hunger Games as I haven’t seen it and it’s a full proof hit) he ruins what seems like high quality production with shitty visual effects that look cheap and dated the moment it hit the local cinema. And they only look worse now. Too often, Lawrence relies on CGI to create to the action or tension, failing more times than not. Worst example: every scene that takes place in hell. Some movies don't need a $100 million budget and this is one of them. Keep it dark and dirty. That's what it needed.
In Constantine, Lawrence also doesn’t give our hero enough moments to allow him to become anything other than a cliché…which brings us back to Reeves. He’s not awful here. In fact, he’s pretty good at times, though lines like “I was born with this curse” (or when he quotes Bible verses) end up way more amusing than they should. Even when Reeves smokes or drinks (which is does a lot), it seems more like Reeves trying to be a badass rather than being a badass. Enough with the Zippo flip, man.
I don’t blame that on Reeves, even though he was miscast here. I’m not a Hellblazer purest by any means, but I know enough to know he needs to be blonde, a Brit, and more slacker/cocky. Keanu can only play Keanu so why not a Paul Bettany or maybe a rugged Gary Oldman? They would have better captured the character. The new TV guy Matt Ryan at least looks the part so hopefully he can do Alan Moore's character justice (though something tells me that Mr. Moore is a hard man to please).
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