Have you ever watched a horror movie by yourself and thought it was so bad, that you wished you could sell your soul to the devil just to get those two wasted hours of your life back? More importantly, have you ever watched the exact same movie another time with your friends and found yourself actually enjoying it?
Viewing a horror movie by yourself with incredibly bad acting, unintentionally funny moments and preposterous low budget gore can be very painful to watch. Although, I find when you’re gathered around good friends, (and tons of booze) you enjoy the movie more and appreciate the elements of the film that made the first viewing experience more excruciating than getting a root canal.
Even beloved cult classics can be more entertaining if you watch it with a cool crowd. So here is my top ten list of B-horror movies (both good and bad) that will please your party guests.
1. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
I have to admit, every time I’ve watched this movie by myself, I usually end up turning it off halfway through, (usually after the demise of Meatloaf) because it’s so f*cking weird and doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. But, if you ever watched this movie with friends at a party or at a theatre, it’s a totally different experience. Prepare yourself for the rice and toast throwing, costumes, dancing to “The Time Warp,” and shouting out at the screen as if you have Tourets Syndrome. (Just make sure it’s not at your house…that rice can be a bitch to pick up.)
2. Psycho Cop
Last year, one of my good friends introduced me to this “so incredibly bad, it’s brilliant” horror film. This is by far the cheesiest movie I’ve ever seen before in my entire life. You don’t even need booze to enjoy this movie. All you need is a group of your close friends. You will be in hysterics as you witness the “psycho cop” off the teens, because the kills are so low budget and they all usually involve some sort of blatant phallic imagery. The clothes, the acting, the cop’s “evil” laugh, and the very flamboyant gay male actors trying to come off as straight teens will also have you dying of laughter with your friends. Buy this film! Believe me, it’s totally worth the 2.75 from your video store’s discount bin.
3. Sleepaway Camp
This 80’s cult classic is best viewed with a roomful of people who have not seen or even heard of this movie. (a.k.a “non horror fans) Watch your friends laugh and squirm at all the cheesy death scenes. Then get your camera, and take a picture of the crowd when the twist is revealed at the end. It’s guaranteed to be a Kodak moment.
4. The Wicker Man – remake
If you were lucky enough to avoid this movie in theatres, or have yet to download the montage of hilarious moments from this flick on You Tube, please go rent this movie and make sure you ONLY play this movie at a party. (Watching this by yourself is just plain stupid.) Everyone should see at least once in their lives, the movie where Nicolas Cage ninja kicks women, slaps masks of children’s’ faces, holds a woman at gunpoint for her bicycle, and runs around in a bear suit clocking women in the face while calling them ‘bitches.’ Share this experience ONLY with those you love, because if you watch this atrocity by yourself, you will want to clock yourself in the head.
10. Feast
There are a lot of people out there who have yet to see this 2006 creature feature, and if you’re one of those people, I’d suggest you get your ass to the nearest video store. This movie has tons of gore, cheesy lines and even a Jason Mewes cameo sure to please any ViewAskew fan out there.
Just watch this movie with a ton of friends, and don’t make the mistake I made by watching this flick with your family. I can not describe the level of humiliation you will experience after watching an alien hump a woman’s face and come all over it, if you sit there watching it with your mother right beside you. You might go catatonic for the rest of the movie. (I know I did.) You’ve been warned.
5. The Evil Dead movies
Every one of the Evil Dead movies are party pleasers, but it really depends on your crowd for which one to show. I, myself prefer showing the original film to friends due to the fact it’s never on television and very few of my friends have seen it. Evil Dead 2 is great to show to a party full of horror buffs that appreciate the series, and Army of Darkness is the best one to show for a guy’s night in. (You got to love that infamous “Give me some sugar, baby!” line.) Overall, they’re all crowd pleasers!
6. Killer Klown From Outer Space
Hard to believe, but this film is pretty difficult to show at a party. There’s always at least one coulrophobe (a person scared of clowns) in the bunch that ruins it for everybody. If you can convince those one or two people that an alien clown is not going to wrap them up in cotton candy and suck their blood through a straw in real life, (it sounds easy enough, but you’d be surprised.) then you and your friends can enjoy the outrageous sundae kills and the hilarious demise of John Vernon’s character together.
7. Silent Night Deadly Night 2
This is the only one on the list that I would suggest fast forwarding until your half way through the movie. (Due to the fact that the first half of the film is just flashbacks from the predecessor. LAME!)
Once you get to the last half of the film, round up all your buddies and cue it to Ricky’s infamous “GARBAGE DAY” rampage in the suburbs. (*Only do this if you haven’t already sent this to all of your friends on YouTube.) Believe me when I say, you and your friends will wear out the rewind button on your DVD controller.
8. Abominable
Putting a movie on about Bigfoot at a party will sure get some laughs at first, but watch your guests jump in shock when the grisly murders happen in this gruesome sleeper hit. (Especially the bathroom kill…YEESH!) When I watched this movie with friends, I was beyond freaked out and had a genuinely fun time with the viewing experience. (Your hardcore horror geek friends will love the Jeffrey Combs and Lance Henriksen scene.) Although, when I watched the film by myself, the monster looked as real as the rubber poop monster did in Dogma.!
9. Cemetery Man
This Italian zombie flick is best viewed with your pothead friends. Sorry, I had to blunt, (no pun intended) but this movie can only truly be appreciated, when there is weed present. This movie is already a total mind f*cking experience, but when you watch it with your friends stoned, prepare to feel like you and your friends are in the movie battling the “returners” with Francesco and Ghangi. It will blow your MIND!
