Alert: PG-13 Abuse

Last Updated on July 28, 2021

Just got news that the U.S. release of DARKNESS will be scaled back from the R-rating of the international version to an all too familiar PG-13. Well goody, that means cuts, cuts, cuts. Plus it probably means an “Unrated Director’s Cut DVD” to further pad undeserving pockets. There’s already a full version in world theaters! Release that one you mother f*ckers!

Oops, got a little steamed there. But seriously, editing what should be R movies for PG-13 ratings is getting completely out of hand. Genre films aren’t meant for kids. Period. They’re bloody, full of adult sexuality, and filled with colorful language. If your kid likes that stuff and can handle it, great, but these are not films for the younglings to make their own decision about. Or if they do, it should be by sneaking into the theater like I had to do.

There is subject matter that is inappropriate for kids, regardless of the presence or absence of saying f*ck, being f*cked or getting f*cked. Removal of the specific act doesn’t lessen the presence of the intent. You watch Skinimax, you see no penetration, but you KNOW what they’re doing.

So why are the studios so eager to castrate the films we love? Simple, money. If the kids can get in without parents, you’ve exponentially expanded the possible audience for your movie. Problem is, the reasoning that you apply to a $100 million summer blockbuster is different from what logically applies to genre work. First of all, the budget’s never close to that. Secondly, genre fans are completely loyal, and if you do even an above average job making a horror flick, you’re going to see above average returns on your investment. If you tap into something new or do an extraordinary job you’re going to see a huge return on your investment.

But it’s gotta be good!

R-rated movies can easily open in the teens, and do make it into the $20 – $30 million range or more with a great concept, solid marketing and/or a built in fan base. But since that’s not the norm, studios decide to open up the floodgates and let kids in to assist the wallet filling. Sure boobs are evil, I mean we all understand that right (totally joking), but allowing a youngster to watch Aliens/Predators/Humans, burn/eviscerate/blow-up is just ducky right? Wrong!

Hollywood, take a deep breath and think for a minute about the natural argument for going to hell when you purposely expose children to genre subject matter, regardless of if it’s technically explicit or not. The dollar problem you’re trying to fix with a PG-13 isn’t a dollar problem; it’s a script and concept problem. An R-rating is golden when you’ve got a great movie. See SAW? Yeah, you know what I mean.

In some ways I guess we should be thankful. If a genre film comes out with a PG-13 rating, it’s the same as the studio telling us it’s weak. So thanks for the heads up guys. Hope we can return the favor in the future by avoiding that which you rate as not worth our time or money…aka PG-13.