Latest Entertainment News Headlines

C'mon Hollywood #225

10.13.2009

...stop busting Horror's balls!
by J.A. Hamilton

For the past couple weeks (maybe longer) I’ve been seeing countless commercials on TV for the new STEPFATHER remake. I never caught the original, and though the concept is remotely interesting, my curiosity diminishes all too abruptly when I hear the final line: rated PG-13. I then get angry, mumble a handful of obscenities and await the return of whatever show I happened to be watching. I would never say a horror flick NEEDS to be rated R to be great (some PG-13 fluff from time to time never killed anyone…at least not graphically anyway), but eighty to ninety percent of horror SHOULD be R rated. Call me old fashioned, but I’m not at all impressed by our spineless, pitiful and altogether butchered (not the good kind either) collection of horror these past couple years.

Nothing instills a sense of fear like a good ol neck tie

I’m not saying these films aren’t enjoyable; I left the theater pretty damn happy after watching DRAG ME TO HELL. I’m a devoted Sam Raimi fan, but what I won’t do is shower him in praise over this film’s style (which was being raved about as a return to old school horror) as I remain unconvinced this was how he WANTED to shoot it, as opposed to how he NEEDED to shoot it to get a PG-13 “money-maker” rating (only to release a DVD and Blu-ray with a theatrical and uncut version, the uncut version actually being SHORTER than the theatrical one). Besides, if you really want a textbook definition of “old school”, check out HATCHET, a true homage to the old days of horror (and keep an eye out for HATCHET 2, due out sometime in 2010).

There's nothing PG-13 about getting your face ripped in half!

ORPHAN was a fantastic R rated horror flick that grossed nearly 63 million worldwide. Sure, it wasn’t “horror flick of the year” or anything and ended up being a mix of THE OMEN and THE GOOD SON, but it didn’t hold back, sported a good script and had a cool ending. The FRIDAY THE 13TH remake pulled in 92 million, MY BLOODY VALENTINE made 93 million and THE FINAL DESTINATION racked up 156 million. These numbers are ample proof that R rated horror not only makes money, but is still very much in demand. So what’s with all these “playing it safe” duds? Lest with forget that the “new strand” of remake virus I touched upon last week has also infected the horror genre in a huge way. I liked the aforementioned VALENTINE and FRIDAY remakes, but what the hell was up with SORORITY ROW? That looked like something they dug up out of the killer from I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER’s backyard.

"Like, NO WAY, that creepy hockey player totally saw my boobs!"

ZOMBIELAND was one of the best times I’ve had at the moves all year (not to mention the Woody Harrelson/ZOMBIELAND/Paparazzi scandal was by far the funniest celebrity news I heard all year), and if an R rated movie about zombies, one of, if not THE MOST overused and worn out “horror gimmick sub-genre” that just won’t die, can make 48 million bucks in its first two weeks, then I have ample faith that ANY and ALL R rated horror flicks can make a decent amount of cash if the script is well written, the characters and ideas are smart and the actors are giving it their all. So why the hesitation? I’ve always figured it was due to money, but the stats are right there and are by no means a secret. Some will argue it’s a means of diversity, others will call it laziness, but it doesn’t really matter whether you say “tomato” or “tomahto” it’s still not cool any way you slice it and needs to change.

"Hold up, is that a zombie or a paparazzo?"

There’s a reason I’m such a huge fan of HBO (and why I miss the hell out of MASTERS OF HORROR), life is rated R folks, just as horror should be. In most cases I just can’t get behind these watered down R.L Stine type horror flicks that tap dance around fear and death like a bunch of teenage virgins telling ghost stories around a bible school campfire. I’m not saying we need to be showered in senseless gore and nudity HOSTEL 2 style, but there’s always a happy medium to be found, and should furthermore be enforced less we forget what horror was always meant to be. If Hollywood wants to make PG-13 thrillers (which is what I would call the STEPFATHER remake, as well as stuff like THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY) then so be it; they won’t get a fight from me. However, the fact that Hollywood has instead decided to flood the horror genre with these films, makes me want to grab my bat and start going door to door like they do at the end of JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK. So if you’ll excuse me, I have some addresses to look up.
Extra Tidbit: I loved ZOMBIELAND so much that I plan on breaking my “no cowboy hat” rule and dressing up as Tallahassee for Halloween. And YOU TOO can have a good laugh at how ridiculous I look in a cowboy hat if you confirm/add me in our MOVIEFAN CENTRAL (J.A_Hamilton). The pics will be up shortly.
Source: JoBlo.com
Tags: Hollywood

RECOMMENDED MOVIE NEWS

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

10:43AM on 12/01/2009
I don't really mind the PG-13 rating on current horror films because I don't honestly see putting in more blood and gore as something that will help the film be any better. Take The Unborn for example, if this film featured boobs, gore, and possible mutilation, the film still would have been terrible. As long as some good rated-R horror flicks come out each year, I'm okay with PG-13 ones.
I don't really mind the PG-13 rating on current horror films because I don't honestly see putting in more blood and gore as something that will help the film be any better. Take The Unborn for example, if this film featured boobs, gore, and possible mutilation, the film still would have been terrible. As long as some good rated-R horror flicks come out each year, I'm okay with PG-13 ones.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:29PM on 10/13/2009
this article is very unbalanced, i thought it had to do more with all the PG-13 horror remakes as of late, which is agree is a bastadization of my childhood. Then you brought up Drag Me To Hell, which is an original horror flick & no comparison to the other films mentioned, same goes for zombieland. PG-13 horror can be decent but to compare remakes and simply a PG-13 horror flick is pointless
this article is very unbalanced, i thought it had to do more with all the PG-13 horror remakes as of late, which is agree is a bastadization of my childhood. Then you brought up Drag Me To Hell, which is an original horror flick & no comparison to the other films mentioned, same goes for zombieland. PG-13 horror can be decent but to compare remakes and simply a PG-13 horror flick is pointless
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
7:21PM on 10/13/2009
Amen! I am so sick of this PG-13 bullshit!
Amen! I am so sick of this PG-13 bullshit!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
6:14PM on 10/13/2009
I agree with ya, although Autralia's rating system is a lot different.

Man that Stepfather poster is awful, the original is great.
I agree with ya, although Autralia's rating system is a lot different.

Man that Stepfather poster is awful, the original is great.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
10:03PM on 10/13/2009
What are some of the different Australian ratings that we don't have?
What are some of the different Australian ratings that we don't have?
12:10AM on 10/14/2009
We have G, PG, M, MA, R and RC. G is general, PG parental guidance for 15yrs and under, M for mature audiences 15 years and older, MA Mature Accompanied, which means if you are 12 to 15 you can't see it without an 18 year old, R18+ (Restricted) - People under 18 may not buy, rent or exhibit these films.

RC is Refused Classification and means it is banned.
We have G, PG, M, MA, R and RC. G is general, PG parental guidance for 15yrs and under, M for mature audiences 15 years and older, MA Mature Accompanied, which means if you are 12 to 15 you can't see it without an 18 year old, R18+ (Restricted) - People under 18 may not buy, rent or exhibit these films.

RC is Refused Classification and means it is banned.
5:35PM on 10/13/2009
Really? Is that REALLY the tag line for the stepfather? "This fall, daddy's home"... that movie just dropped one more notch on the suckage scale and went from "I'm not going to see this in the theature" to "I'm not even going to download it". I think its time to hire a new marketing director.

As for the R rated thing, I agree with most of the posts that said it was more important to have better horror movies than to have just an R rating, but can we really acheive such a thing when the
Really? Is that REALLY the tag line for the stepfather? "This fall, daddy's home"... that movie just dropped one more notch on the suckage scale and went from "I'm not going to see this in the theature" to "I'm not even going to download it". I think its time to hire a new marketing director.

As for the R rated thing, I agree with most of the posts that said it was more important to have better horror movies than to have just an R rating, but can we really acheive such a thing when the target audiance is 14 year olds, i don't think so. I wouldn't call Zombieland a horror, don't get me wrong, I loved it, but saw it more as a comedy. it seems that once one studio does somthing sucessful in horror/thriller, everyone jumps on the bandwagon to make thier own version with a different twist until that type of movie is beat to death (pardon the pun)(ie.. all the zombie moives, saw/hostel/turista movies, any slasher movie ever made). SO if we could get some more original ideas instead of doing the same thing over and over, that, in my opinion would be better than just a R rating.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:25PM on 10/13/2009
R makes a good horror movie.

No more of this PG-13 bullshit.
R makes a good horror movie.

No more of this PG-13 bullshit.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:06PM on 10/13/2009

Good Point

You make a really strong case for R-rated horror. The overwhelming majority of good horror flicks are RESTRICTED, baby!
You make a really strong case for R-rated horror. The overwhelming majority of good horror flicks are RESTRICTED, baby!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
4:32PM on 10/13/2009
I really don't agree with this article. I find it very ignorant that you're making it out to be that R rated horror films are actually good horror films when it really isn't. If there's a PG-13 horror movie and it was a bad movie in the first place, how would changing the rating to R make the movie any better? Honestly, I don't see the point. If a movie is bad, PG-13 or R, it really shouldn't matter. If a movie is good, it goes the same way. Ratings really have nothing to say about how a movie
I really don't agree with this article. I find it very ignorant that you're making it out to be that R rated horror films are actually good horror films when it really isn't. If there's a PG-13 horror movie and it was a bad movie in the first place, how would changing the rating to R make the movie any better? Honestly, I don't see the point. If a movie is bad, PG-13 or R, it really shouldn't matter. If a movie is good, it goes the same way. Ratings really have nothing to say about how a movie is. It's just a rating. You guys need to get that in your head.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
5:03PM on 10/13/2009
Why so angry? Good horror should have BLOOD, GUTS, DECAPITATION, ETC. You just can't go where you need to go as a filmmaker or audience in this genre if you're limited by a PG-13. Drag me to Hell was PG-13 but there were plenty of flowing bodily fluids so it made up for it.
Why so angry? Good horror should have BLOOD, GUTS, DECAPITATION, ETC. You just can't go where you need to go as a filmmaker or audience in this genre if you're limited by a PG-13. Drag me to Hell was PG-13 but there were plenty of flowing bodily fluids so it made up for it.
10:07PM on 10/13/2009
Actually, a rating has a lot to do with it as it determines what you will and won't see in the film, and I think all he's trying to say is, horror movies shouldn't be held back by PG-13 restrictions. They weren't for years, and did fine, now days we see more PG-13 ones and they suck. It's pretty simple.
Actually, a rating has a lot to do with it as it determines what you will and won't see in the film, and I think all he's trying to say is, horror movies shouldn't be held back by PG-13 restrictions. They weren't for years, and did fine, now days we see more PG-13 ones and they suck. It's pretty simple.
+1
4:24PM on 10/13/2009
Yeah,Stepfather looks like more of the same crap. Drag me to hell wasn't too bad for pg-13 but horror shouldn't be defined by movies like those. Never saw Hatchet but I heard it was good, I'm gonna have to check it out now.
Yeah,Stepfather looks like more of the same crap. Drag me to hell wasn't too bad for pg-13 but horror shouldn't be defined by movies like those. Never saw Hatchet but I heard it was good, I'm gonna have to check it out now.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
4:05PM on 10/13/2009
"Stop making Saw movies!!"
-Joblo
"Stop making Saw movies!!"
-Joblo
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:20PM on 10/13/2009
Yeah, I agree, you can't really call most of the shit we've been exposed to latetly "horror". It's like Huttjos said, the genre's not called "scary" it's called "horror".
Yeah, I agree, you can't really call most of the shit we've been exposed to latetly "horror". It's like Huttjos said, the genre's not called "scary" it's called "horror".
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
12:13PM on 10/13/2009

Horror?

I am not so much a fan of Horror, but I have to agree, whats the point to making a PG-13 Horror movie, is it to scare the crap out of 14 year olds who cant get into the 18+ R rated versions. Too many movies have been ruined by this and there are a lot of movies that showed soooo much promise but left the viewers wondering why they wasted the 10 bucks to see it. I say down with the PG 13 crap.
I am not so much a fan of Horror, but I have to agree, whats the point to making a PG-13 Horror movie, is it to scare the crap out of 14 year olds who cant get into the 18+ R rated versions. Too many movies have been ruined by this and there are a lot of movies that showed soooo much promise but left the viewers wondering why they wasted the 10 bucks to see it. I say down with the PG 13 crap.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
11:48AM on 10/13/2009
im quickly turned off to PG-13 horror.
you shouldve mentioned the awfulness of Prom Night!
im quickly turned off to PG-13 horror.
you shouldve mentioned the awfulness of Prom Night!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
+6
11:35AM on 10/13/2009
You could not be more right on this topic. The word 'horror' should say it all. It's not called scary, it's called horror, and there is most certainly a difference.

I think that may be one of the reasons why I love the saw franchise. If I know it's an R rating, then I know there was nothing held back by studios creatively.
You could not be more right on this topic. The word 'horror' should say it all. It's not called scary, it's called horror, and there is most certainly a difference.

I think that may be one of the reasons why I love the saw franchise. If I know it's an R rating, then I know there was nothing held back by studios creatively.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:20PM on 10/13/2009
Totally agree.
Totally agree.
2:24PM on 10/13/2009
Amen.
Amen.
4:25PM on 10/13/2009
yep, that's one of the reasons I still enjoy the Saws too.
yep, that's one of the reasons I still enjoy the Saws too.
11:33AM on 10/13/2009

Zombieland

Zombieland was definately a riot, we need more horror films like that one. And yes, that Woody Harellson paparazzi thing was hilarious!
Zombieland was definately a riot, we need more horror films like that one. And yes, that Woody Harellson paparazzi thing was hilarious!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
11:22AM on 10/13/2009

Masters of Horror

Oh, and you're right Masters of Horror was one of the best shows ever!
Oh, and you're right Masters of Horror was one of the best shows ever!
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
11:21AM on 10/13/2009
I do agree that horror movies should be R rated more times than not, and we do have a lot of crappy movies trying to cash in on a weak example of what horror should be. I'm just glad stuff like Zombieland keep coming to us something other than the Stepfather to watch.
I do agree that horror movies should be R rated more times than not, and we do have a lot of crappy movies trying to cash in on a weak example of what horror should be. I'm just glad stuff like Zombieland keep coming to us something other than the Stepfather to watch.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
-2
10:37AM on 10/13/2009

Horror?

I'm really sorry but I just can't agree with this article. There has been a distressing trend of more modern times to link "horror" to "gore". Sure, a lot of the franchises feature bloody messes like Nightmare on Elm Street's sea of blood, but they feature more as slasher films on my radar. Horror films should create a truly scary atmosphere, and it's often a lot scarier when you DON'T see the monster. I mean, how many films have you watched and when we finally get to the monster money
I'm really sorry but I just can't agree with this article. There has been a distressing trend of more modern times to link "horror" to "gore". Sure, a lot of the franchises feature bloody messes like Nightmare on Elm Street's sea of blood, but they feature more as slasher films on my radar. Horror films should create a truly scary atmosphere, and it's often a lot scarier when you DON'T see the monster. I mean, how many films have you watched and when we finally get to the monster money shot, special effects can just never match the horrific thing your own mind conjured up (except for in the Thing, and Alien, actually, those things were freaky and still are).

Hmm, seems like what began as disagreement has just turned to an argument of the semantics of whether you call a film horror or slasher... Either way, I think R for the sake of R is just as bad, if not worse, than PG-13 for the sake of sales.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:22PM on 10/13/2009
I think you missed his point, but started coming around by the end of your post, which I also agree with.
I think you missed his point, but started coming around by the end of your post, which I also agree with.
+11
9:53AM on 10/13/2009
I'm sorry and no offense to fans of Hatchet but hat film was just disgusting. It wasn't scary, just gory and gross. When I watch a horror film I want to cringe from the drama and atmosphere, not cringe because I'm sicked by the possible mentally ill fantasies of whoever thought ripping a woman's face in half would be "cool."
I'm sorry and no offense to fans of Hatchet but hat film was just disgusting. It wasn't scary, just gory and gross. When I watch a horror film I want to cringe from the drama and atmosphere, not cringe because I'm sicked by the possible mentally ill fantasies of whoever thought ripping a woman's face in half would be "cool."
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
9:26AM on 10/13/2009

Zombieland

Also Zombieland was fantastic.
Also Zombieland was fantastic.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
9:25AM on 10/13/2009

How about C'mon hollywood, make better horror movies!

So although the Stepfather is sure to suck (in the best way possible), most of the movies you mentioned in your post suck too. Hatchet was an embarrassing low budget piece of shit, Orphan was hilariously ludicrous, Friday the 13th was insultingly stupid, and The Final Destination was completely uninspired. While I'm with you in that R-rated horror movies have a much better chance at being worthwhile than PG-13 entries, the bottom line is that the horror genre has been pretty awful since the
So although the Stepfather is sure to suck (in the best way possible), most of the movies you mentioned in your post suck too. Hatchet was an embarrassing low budget piece of shit, Orphan was hilariously ludicrous, Friday the 13th was insultingly stupid, and The Final Destination was completely uninspired. While I'm with you in that R-rated horror movies have a much better chance at being worthwhile than PG-13 entries, the bottom line is that the horror genre has been pretty awful since the rise and demise of the torture porn subgenre. Drag Me and PA are the only two horror movies I can remember seeing in the past few years that have either A. rocked me so hard I saw it four times (DM2H), or B. rocked me so hard I do not want to see it again (PA). And yeah, there's been some great R-rated French films, but the quality of film making in our beloved genre has been pathetic (I'm looking at you Jennifer's Body).

Note: All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was fucking awesome too.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
-1
9:18AM on 10/13/2009
This is a pretty misdirected rant. The problem isn't "Need more R Rated Horror movies" The big problem is "Need more GOOD Horror movies" Sam Raimi gave us a gold nugget in DMTH that absolutely did not need the R Rating.
This is a pretty misdirected rant. The problem isn't "Need more R Rated Horror movies" The big problem is "Need more GOOD Horror movies" Sam Raimi gave us a gold nugget in DMTH that absolutely did not need the R Rating.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
2:25PM on 10/13/2009
Yeah, it's been hard to put "good" and "horror" in the same sentence lately.
Yeah, it's been hard to put "good" and "horror" in the same sentence lately.
9:14AM on 10/13/2009

I hate PG 13 when...

...the film is an obvious R Rated film and its cut down to PG 13 to get the crowds in. Some genre films are NOT supposed to be gore & tit fests, they are supposed to be suspense driven and I for one am all good with that.
...the film is an obvious R Rated film and its cut down to PG 13 to get the crowds in. Some genre films are NOT supposed to be gore & tit fests, they are supposed to be suspense driven and I for one am all good with that.
Your Reply:



Please email me when someone replies to my comment
View All Comments

Latest Entertainment News Headlines


Top
Loading...

Featured Youtube Videos

Views and Counting