Top 10 Hotties in Christmas Horror!

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Ho Ho Ho my little mofos…so who’s in the holiday spirit? Ah come on, what about the ungodly travel arrangements, unavoidable flu-season, insufferable family members and unbridled avarice of Christmastime DOESN’T equal utter joy? Now now, chin up friends, we got your backs. We’re all in this together. In fact, I’m betting diamonds to dog-shit that after shredding through this week’s Top 10, you’re gonna feel a bit of that elation that may elude you when opening presents in a couple weeks. That’s right y’all, we’re talking Christmas Hotties! Ever wonder, if not lament, how, just as a circumstance of wintertime wardrobe (scarves, jackets, hats, etc.), we never get to fully scope hot heroine’s bod in a Xmas horror joint. Yeah, well, no more! How’s this for a stocking stuffer…unwrap our Top 10 Christmas Horror Hotties above!


Whatever sorely lacked from the somewhat underrated if still unneeded BLACK CHRISTMAS redo, was made up for with the sizzling nubile ensemble. Of course, headed by the inimitable Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who I swear makes every single AITH Top 10 Hotties list. Deservedly so. Hell, to be honest, we could just as easily fawned over Katie Cassidy or Lacey Chabert from the same flick, but there’s something extra adorable about Winstead zaftig hour-glass figure, gorgeous face and big brown eyes. This is how a real woman should look!


Before the eternally youthful looking Jaime King became an actress in the early aughts (and a bit of a scream queen to boot), the gorgeous 5’9” blonde stunner earned a living as a world-class fashion model. No shock there, right? So, even if annoyingly swaddled in full police regalia during SILENT NIGHT (a serviceable update of SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT), this chick is too damn fine to simply glance past! I mean, just look at that f*cking face…that’s a first-rate bone-structure right there. Call me a sinner, but Jaime is one hot ass Dame to Kill For!


I think I’m the only one in the world who kind of digs the Christmas Eve slasher flick P2. Oh well, so be it. One can definitely argue the merits of the film, but I really don’t think you can refute the inextinguishable fire of one Rachel Nichols. Good god! Wes Bentley knows what’s up, as it’s entirely possible that his demented character in P2 was driven into a homicidal rage by the sheer sight of Nichol’s swollen bust-line. Sheesh, them knockers will drive a man insane! Talk shit if you want, but at least P2’s hot heroine actually disrobes as the flick progresses…a snowy rarity indeed!


Hot damn do I wanna stuff my candy-cane in Shannon Elizabeth’s stocking! But then again, what red-blooded male doesn’t? Granted, she’s pulled a bit of a disappearing act recently, but nothing can ever erase that profoundly awkward yet strangely arousing shower scene in JACK FROST. Good heavens! Seriously, how did that goofy looking round-mound of snow not melt into a boiling puddle of water upon first sight of this perfect creature? Come on, a 5’9″ 24 year old Syrian/German hybrid of perfect proportion? I’m dripping just thinking about it!


Damn that Kevin Kline! As if winning an Oscar wasn’t enough, Kline had to go out and snatch up the object of every teenage boy’s wet and wild fantasy in 1982…when the gorgeous Phoebe Cates slowly, soppingly emerged from the swimming pool in FAST TIMES and peeled-off her bikini top. Damn that image is seared into my psyche. So, when the great Joe Dante cast her in the family friendly GREMLINS two years later, I bet more than a few of us were disappointed in how overly dressed Phoebe was throughout. Still, even buttoned up, nothing can conceal Phoebe’s heat!


Just look at those goddamn lips. Those eyes. Pure poetry right there! Now, I realize that at the time she partook in SANTA’S SLAW, she hadn’t fully matured into the irrepressible sexpot she’s become today (well, she was 24, so maybe it was the bland wardrobe), but make no mistake, Emilie De Ravin is one of Australia’s most gorgeous onscreen exports (and that’s saying a lot). SANTA’S SLAY is one of those imminently entertaining Christmas horror gems, the pacing and tone of the film is just so fun and watchable. Just as we never get tired of watching it, we never tire of De Ravin’s pouty prettiness.


Granted, two-handed thriller WIND CHILL isn’t a terribly good movie, but betraying the frosty film title is its own star Emily Blunt…the interminably sexy British flame who has since arisen to superstardom. And here she is in 2007, at the ripe young age of 24! As for the movie, it sort of reminds me of another vehicular holiday chiller…that being DEAD END from 2003 (I honestly almost added the sexy Alexandra Holden on our list as well), where stranded travelers are haunted on a ghostly stretch of a backwoods highway. But no matter how snowy…the Blunt’s smokin’!


Now that’s some Hussey! Seriously, score one for the elder stateswoman of the bunch huh, but in so doing, don’t forget, Olivia Hussey was as sexy a looker as any in her day. Take the holy grail of holiday horror for example, BLACK CHRISTMAS, where the stunning Argentine beauty completely stole the shine away from Margot Kidder, quite the cutie in her own right. Hell, Olivia is 63 and I’d still hit it! Though forever cemented in the annals of horror lore, it’s good to see Hussey still toiling away in the genre, having a thriller called SOCIAL SUICIDE due in 2015.


Here’s a legendary following five syllables. Linnea. Quigley. Any dissenters? Yeah, thought not. Not only is Quigley a bona fide scream queen of a generation – a horror hottie hall of famer if you will – she also happens to be one of the most daring and innately sexy babes to ever light up the frame…in any genre. But SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT makes it official…as Quigley will forever be remembered as the well-endowed blonde who gets doubly impaled by a wall-mounted deer’s antlers. Grounds for marriage proposal, that kind of scene!


My god, have any of you a clue how many genre joints Debbie Rochon has sucked on over the years? Try 239 screen credits dating back to 1982. That’s f*cking insane! All genuine awe aside, one flick of Deb’s I’ll always remember fulfilling the much needed teenage titillation is the unabashed B-movie SANTA CLAWS. Who’s with me?! Seriously, Deb flashed more bust than the Hall of Fame in that flick…parading around topless with her pert boobies shooting out like succulent missile-toes for all to consume. What a woman!

Tags: Hollywood

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