Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Drew Barrymore!

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: Going the Distance, He's Just Not That Into You, Everybody's Fine, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Lucky You, Fever Pitch, 50 First Dates, Duplex, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Riding in Cars with Boys, Home Fries, Best Men, Wishful Thinking, Mad Love, Bad Girls, Poison Ivy

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, some people absolutely adore Drew Barrymore, however the prosecution has never understood the love for the actress, and with her films as of late being pretty disappointing (as well as appearing in plenty of garbage earlier in her career), we believe Miss Barrymore needs to spend some time in Movie Jail.

The prosecution respects Miss Barrymore for overcoming her addictions and making the transition from child actress to adult actress, but we can't respect Miss Barrymore for almost always playing a slightly different version of herself in her films, or for starring in some dreadful movies during her career, mostly romantic comedies/dramas. Everyone remembers The Wedding Singer or Never Been Kissed, but the actress has also appeared in several critically planned movies involving romance, like Mad Love, Wishful Thinking, and Best Men.

Some may argue those films were when she was still trying to make a name for herself as an adult actress, but how about her more recent work in Going the Distance or He's Just Not That Into You? Fever Pitch and 50 First Dates may not be as bad as those other two films, however they also aren't fantastic either. What's really unfortunate though is most of her movies come from her production company Flower Films. One would think since she's one of the founders Miss Barrymore would be able to find solid projects to work on, but instead we get films like Duplex or the previously mentioned He's Just Not That Into You.

Miss Barrymore's next film is Blended, another rom-com with Adam Sandler, and the prosecution doesn't have high hopes for the movie at all. It looks awful, and even if it does end up being better than 50 First Dates or any of Sandler's most recent flicks, that's like saying getting one eye gouged out is better than having both of them forcibly removed. The prosecution doesn't want to lock Miss Barrymore up and throw away the key, but we do believe she needs to go to Movie Jail.

The Defense: Blue Miracle, Whip It, Grey Gardens, Music and Lyrics, Curious George, My Date with Drew, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Donnie Darko, Charlie's Angels, Titan A.E., Skipped Parts, Never Been Kissed, The Wedding Singer, Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Scream, Everyone Says I Love You, Boys on the Side, Guncrazy, Firestarter, Irreconcilable Differences, E.T., Altered States

Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Barrymore hasn't appeared in as many films recently compared to her work in the 1990s and early 2000s, but she's still a great actress, and the defense has enjoyed most of her movies. The prosecution argues Miss Barrymore's performances all feel similar, however the defense has never considered her to be a "serious" actress. Still talented, yes, but not on the same level as a Meryl Streep or Kate Winslet. And although she's appeared in a bunch of rom-coms, the defense doesn't think she's nearly as annoying or grating as other queens of the genre, like Kate Hudson or Sarah Jessica Parker. It's one of the reasons why the documentary My Date with Drew worked so well.

The prosecution also complains about her production company, which is complete bullshit. Flower Films helped bring Donnie Darko to the big screen, and Miss Barrymore played a big part, including having a role in the film. Flower films also produced Miss Barrymore's directorial debut Whip It, a very solid movie about roller derby, and the defense would love to see Miss Barrymore behind the camera again for another project.

But the defense feels the real reason why Miss Barrymore shouldn't go to Movie Jail is because of how she'll always be remembered for E.T. and her cameo in Scream, one of the most famous scenes from a horror movie ever. Her biggest contribution to film history is with those two movies, and my client should be rewarded for her work instead of being up for Movie Jail.

Maybe if Miss Barrymore didn't appear in those two films one would have an argument for sending her to Movie Jail, however the defense just doesn't think she belongs in prison.


What should we do with Miss Barrymore? Do her good movies outweigh the bad, or do you think there's just too much crap on her filmography? Are you a big fan of the actress, or do you think she's really not that talented? Is Drew Barrymore GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



The jury had an easy time deciding Andrew Niccol's fate in last week's trial. The writer/director has been found NOT GUILTY of all charges. Although most jury members said they hated THE HOST, Mr. Niccol survived the trial because of his script for THE TRUMAN SHOW, and for directing GATTACA and LORD OF WAR. Mr. Niccol is a talented filmmaker, but he should probably stay away from any future Stephenie Meyer adaptations.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special)

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol


About the Author