Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Pierce Brosnan!

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: The November Man, The Love Punch, A Long Way Down, Salvation Boulevard, I Don't Know How She Does It, Remember Me, Mama Mia!, Laws of Attraction, After the Sunset, Grey Owl, Live Wire, The Lawnmower Man

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, although Pierce Brosnan was recently featured in's "The Good, The Bad & The Badass," the actor's films as of late have been less good and badass, and more just plain bad.

2014 hasn't been great for Mr. Brosnan. Besides receiving mostly negative reviews from critics, his The November Man, A Long Way Down and The Love Punch all bombed at the box office as well. But it's not like the actor was doing just fine before the start of this year. Critics didn't care for his Salvation Boulevard, and he also has appeared in projects way below his talents, like Remember Me and I Don't Know How She Does It. Speaking of talents (or lack of), it was painfully obvious in Mama Mia! the actor isn't the greatest singer.

The thing is Mr. Brosnan is actually a very good actor. If he wasn't, the prosecution is fairly certain he would have only been cast as James Bond-esque characters after Daniel Craig took over playing the iconic character. So what's he doing starring in films like Laws of Attraction? C'mon Mr. Brosnan, you can do better than that!

The prosecution doesn't think Mr. Brosnan deserves a long sentence, but we do believe he needs to spend at least a couple of months in Movie Jail. Maybe after spending some time behind bars Mr. Brosnan will realize if he doesn't step up his game, he's going to really hurt his career.

The Defense: James Bond movies, Love Is All You Need, The World's End, The Greatest, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, The Ghost Writer, Married Life, Shattered, Seraphim Falls, The Matador, Evelyn, The Tailor of Panama, The Thomas Crown Affair, Dante's Peak, Mars Attacks!, Mrs. Doubtfire, Mister Johnson, The Deceivers, The Fourth Protocol, Taffin

Ladies and gentlemen, my client's post-James Bond career might be a mixed bag, but he shouldn't be up for Movie Jail. As the prosecution points out, Mr. Brosnan is a gifted actor, and even though he has appeared in a few questionable projects recently, he's also done plenty of great work as well.

Mr. Brosnan's Love Is All You Need and The Ghost Writer didn't exactly light up the box office, however he did an excellent job in both films. Mr. Brosnan also has a solid range as an actor. He was fantastic as a creepy kidnapper in Shattered, and it's too bad more people haven't seen the thriller. Seraphim Falls features a great performance from my client, but like Shattered, not that many people know about the revenge flick. It was also fun to see Mr. Brosnan pop up in The World's End and Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, even though he didn't have a big role in either film.

In addition, my client has received very high praise for his work in films like The Tailor of Panama, The Thomas Crown Affair and (especially) The Matador. And while his Bond films weren't all winners, most would probably agree the movies' failures weren't Mr. Brosnan's fault.

Would the defense love to see Mr. Brosnan work on better projects than I Don't Know How She Does It? Of course, but we don't believe his career is in trouble, and we doubt the jury is going to want to lock up the very likable actor.


What do you think we should do with the former 007? Have you been unimpressed with Mr. Brosnan and his films as of late, or has this just been a rough year for the actor? Are you worried about the actor's career, or do you think he's still doing great work? Is Pierce Brosnan GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



Mickey Rourke had a few supporters in last week's trial, however he has been found GUILTY of all charges. Many jury members said they are a fan of the actor, but aren't happy with the films he has appeared in after making such a strong comeback with The Wrestler. Mr. Rourke will be spending the next year in Movie Jail, and hopefully he will stay away from direct-to-DVD shit after his release.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich


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