Hottie Recap

Not too long ago, our dear sweet, pale-faced princess Lindsay Lohan incited the ire of exotic dancers the world over by commenting that “they’re all whores”. Believing them to be a demographic she couldn’t

afford to alienate (they may be whores but they’re whores who forget the fat, sweaty, greasy, overly aggressive men they must contend with on a daily basis by watching

movies), she deployed her flak-servant to defuse the situation by explaining that Linds wasn’t actually likening their obviously dignified profession to prostitution. She was

merely researching a role and saddened that most of these women are so blatantly and callously reduced to whores. In point of fact, she loves strippers. If she wasn’t already fully immersed in the acting

profession, she’d consider stripping as a viable option…

The above shown surrealistic dreamscape forms a new poster for famed Korean auteur Ki-duk Kim’s upcoming drama TIME. The story follows a young woman who, terrified

by the prospect of having her paramour tire of her, undergoes extensive plastic surgery to reinvent herself as another person. Not only do we quite like the phantasmagoric

aesthetic of the poster but any movie where a woman thinks implants that’ll raise her to a D-cup will essentially save her life is a-ok in our book. Yes, we realize the

movie’s pondering the question of identity but we choose to believe it’s reaffirming the life-saving effects of breast augmentation, ok? Just like every burgeoning starlet out

there who’s been rejected at an audition because of a “humble” chest…

The FX network has made a name for itself exposing the dark and twisted underbelly of humanity and they’ll now be taking their signature moral boundary pushing to a

primetime network mainstay – the legal drama. One-time Josh Hartnett stalker (we’re speaking of WICKER PARK, not some real life kerfuffle) Rose Byrne will be joining Glenn Close, Tate Donovan and Zeljko Ivanek in a currently untitled

drama pilot that’ll have Rose starring as a recent law school graduate who finds herself working for the notorious and infamous Patty Hughes (Close), a “high-stakes

litigator” who eats prosecutors for breakfast and shits more valuable information than the entire legal community combined. This being FX, we’re fairly certain this won’t be

a regular, run-of-the-mill legal drama. In fact, we suspect they’re aiming to do with this show, what they did for the medical drama with Nip/Tuck –

meaning, to fuck it right up…

You may remember Mircea Monroe as the adorabe, busty blonde in Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence’s YouTube-powered meta sitcom Nobody’s

Watching. While the primetime fate of that show hangs in the balance, Mircea’s been granted another chance at small screen stardom as she, along with Nathan

Fillion and Kevin Alejandro, have

landed starring roles in Fox’s midseason drama Drive. Coming from Angel alum Tim Minear, the story chronicles the

adventure-having of an underground race across the US. Mircea will be playing one of the racers who presumably bumps uglies with at least one of the male cast members

(or female cast members if they get really interesting, though we think going all L Word is a little too progressive for Fox)…

Danielle Harris, who you may remember as the foul-mouthed, upstart daughter of Bruce Wills’ boozy, tough-as-nails cop character in THE LAST BOY SCOUT or from her

myriad of past TV and film roles (she’s apparently been acting since she was a fetus), will,

according to the horror aficionados over at Fangoria, be the heir to the terrified

babysitter throne of Jamie Lee Curtis in director Rob Zombie’s upcoming reimagining of the HALLOWEEN franchise. The news is currently at the tenuous rumor stage but

considering Zombie has been none too shy about dropping major casting announcements, it shouldn’t be too long before he confirms whether or not Danielle will be

carrying the torch of a babysitter being terrorized by an almost supernatural masked psychotic with a penchant for mechanic overalls…

In October, we reminded you of the once celebrated cinematic

tradition of pairing giants of all types with beautiful, voluptuous starlets but in our excitement about rediscovering such a long-venerated cinematic custom and our haste to

relay it to you, we senselessly forgot a second long-revered cinematic tradition – the pairing of beautiful, voluptuous and sometimes naked starlets with robots (some NSFW imagery). In fact, we’d venture to say that the

robot-starlet coupling is even greater in scope and more widely respected than the giant-starlet coupling…

Rocio Guirao Diaz, who’s one of the most popular (and clearly also one of the hottest) supermodels to come out of Argentina, has released her calendar for 2007 and it’s pretty much

everything we thought it would be (sans the nudity but we always expect nudity – job hazzard, sorry). We’re disappointed that most of the month names and numbers have

been cropped out as we feel there may be parts of Rocio’s perfect form which we’re being denied but at least we get to revel in most of her absolutely stunning

figure…

Ever since Jessica Biel toned her body to absolute perfection for her role as brooding, soft-spoken, bow and arrow wielding vampire huntress Abigail Whistler in the trilogy

ending BLADE: TRINITY, we’ve relished seeing that perfect form every time the paparazzi boldly follow her to the beach and blatantly invade her privacy by taking

lusciously high quality pictures. So enamored and blown away by her perfect form are we, in fact, that we officially request she use the bikini on a daily basis and for any

situation. We don’t care how cold it gets or whether it’s “inappropriate” to wear a bikini to church, we demand she wear one at all

times…

Last week’s mystery hottie was British actress Donna Air and this week’s hottie is HERE. Hope everyone has a good New Year’s. See you next year!