The house from A Christmas Story is up for sale

The iconic house from A Christmas Story–inarguably one of the greatest Christmas movies ever–is up for sale, but local government and a hefty price tag mean it will take a miracle for you to be the new owner.

The A Christmas Story house went up for sale last month but it doesn’t seem there has been a whole lot of movement. In fact, the listing price itself is a secret. But to give an idea of what it will set you back, a mock bid of $4 million was rejected by the owner, saying that amount couldn’t even operate the property annually.

The sale includes not just the house, but rather a 1.3 acres “campus” that features five total buildings, three parking lots, two empty lots, and, presumably, a partridge in a pear tree. The owner purchased the surrounding areas as a long-term plan to prevent inconsistencies, saying, “You have this nice 1940s look and then, right next door, boom! Condos or townhomes? Now that just doesn’t fit.” Owner Brian Jones also expressed an interest in expanding the A Christmas Story experience for fans, like adding on a BB-gun shooting range and a Chinese restaurant. How about a dog park to let your own Bumpus hounds run around?

In addition to the top-secret asking price, local government would have a major say in how the house and its properties are managed. “You can’t even change the paint scheme. You can’t add anything to the porches. You can’t do anything without the city’s OK…Being such a valuable asset to the city, they’re not going to allow anybody else to do that.” Sounds like a triple dog dare to us!

The listing for the A Christmas Story house states, in part: “You’re looking at pretty much the most natural, holiday themed house and museum in the world. And now, it can be all yours. Wall-to-wall anecdotes throughout, this lovely classic is both spacious and intimate. Nostalgically upgraded with somewhat ancient appliances, you’ll be sure to be the talk of town when you own this world-famous house and museum based on a beloved Christmas classic film.”

The Cleveland house is one of the most recognizable in movies, with or without the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window. It was wonderfully recreated in this year’s nostalgia-driven sequel, A Christmas Story Christmas, which was far better than expected. Our own Alex Maidy gave it a 7/10.

Stay tuned for our upcoming A Christmas Story episode of WTF Happened To This Movie?!