Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Matthew McConaughey!
Oct. 22, 2012
The Defendant
Matthew McConaughey
The Case
The Prosecution: Fool's Gold, Failure to Launch, Sahara, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, The Wedding Planner, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, it's time we start holding some of these Hollywood folk accountable for their crimes, past and present. There is no statute of limitations here. We need to take a closer look at those that dip their toes in the shit pool too often. Such is the case with today's defendant. Sure, he's had some respectable hits in the past few years, but does that make up for all the rom-com schlock of yesteryear? Especially knowing that he's capable of doing great work, it's like going into a convenience store and smacking the clerk in the face and stealing his money. And your accomplice is a hot actress. Who can't act. Does this court allow actors and actresses to let these crimes go just because they make a few good movies? We think not, and we'd like the court to make an example of Mr. McConaughey by finding him guilty to show such actions will not be tolerated in this court.
The Defense: A Time to Kill, Dazed and Confused, Killer Joe, EdTV, Frailty, Reign of Fire, We Are Marshall, The Lincoln Lawyer, Contact, Tropic Thunder*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, a guy uses his natural good looks and charisma to make a few movies that will get women to drop their panties for years to come, and this is a crime? If anything, the man should be applauded for finding an angle and exploiting that angle to make dat paper and tap dat ass. It's what any guy in Mr. McConaughey's position would do. Let's not forget that one of his first major roles was the now classic Wooderson in Dazed & Confused. A role so classic, in fact, we can't look at a hot redhead or pass a high school without uttering one of his now famous lines. Dramas like A Time to Kill, Contact and the overlooked gem Frailty showed his true acting chops. As the prosecution has pointed out, he hasn't done many rom-coms lately, concentrating on more dramatic roles, a silly comedic turn in Tropic Thunder and showcasing the abs once again in Magic Mike. But it's Mr. McConaughey's most recent turn in Killer Joe as an out of his mind hit man, that has us passionately moving for an acquittal of our charges. Seriously, watch that movie today.
IN CLOSING...
So, what’s to be done with Mr. Matthew McConaughey? Is his foray into rom-coms unforgivable? Has his stature diminished because of this? Are his dramatic roles just too good to convict? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Matthew McConaughey GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Mr. Michael Bay GUILTY of all charges. In a landslide verdict, the outpour of guilty votes showed this court that just because "you know what you're getting" with a Michael Bay film, and that his work is nothing but "popcorn summer box office fare", doesn't mean it's free from criticism. Besides, most of the jury wanted to simply see bars across his smug face.
| PREVIOUS VERDICTS | |
| GUILTY | NOT GUILTY |
| Adam
Sandler Eddie Murphy Vince Vaughn Tim Burton The Farrelly Brothers Michael Bay |
Robert De
Niro Val Kilmer Nic Cage John Travolta Oliver Stone Ben Stiller Jim Carrey Wes Craven |
| Extra Tidbit: | Thanks to "RyanBro" for the suggestion. Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below! |
|---|
| Source: | JoBlo.com |
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Not Guilty
Really? NOT GUILTY for sure! Put Kate Hudson in jail!
GUILTY
GUILTY
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not guilty
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
Not guilty
NOT GUILTY
It's seriously time to put up an actress, sexist much?
It's seriously time to put up an actress, sexist much?
Not Guilty
I like him, even if the movie he is in sucks.
I like him, even if the movie he is in sucks.
Wow!
Not guilty
Guilty??? Hell no!!!
Not Guilty
I don't know if you've already covered them, but next time I think Shia Labeof, M. Night, Ridley Scott, (for recent mishaps) everyone behind the Saw franchise and Paranormal Activity franchise, Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich, The Rock, McG, and Kristen Stewart would make good candidates.
I don't know if you've already covered them, but next time I think Shia Labeof, M. Night, Ridley Scott, (for recent mishaps) everyone behind the Saw franchise and Paranormal Activity franchise, Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich, The Rock, McG, and Kristen Stewart would make good candidates.
Wha ... ?
Not guilty!
Not Guilty!
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Your Honor!
Not Guilty
good one
but since then he's got "Lincoln Lawyer" "Magic Mike" "Bernie" "Killer Joe" "Paperboy" (the last one i havent seen yet, but i hear decent things about it). One good movie after a decade of crap can give hope but is not redeemable for an actor, but 4 great movies in a row. Lets see what else this guy can do.
He should do a project with Ben Affleck. The two guys who turned themselves completely around in the eyes of
but since then he's got "Lincoln Lawyer" "Magic Mike" "Bernie" "Killer Joe" "Paperboy" (the last one i havent seen yet, but i hear decent things about it). One good movie after a decade of crap can give hope but is not redeemable for an actor, but 4 great movies in a row. Lets see what else this guy can do.
He should do a project with Ben Affleck. The two guys who turned themselves completely around in the eyes of movie fans
ET : How abouuuuut... some ladies on trial ? Cameron Diaz ? Reese Witherspoon ? Halle Berry (probably out on bail next weekend, though) ?
ET : How abouuuuut... some ladies on trial ? Cameron Diaz ? Reese Witherspoon ? Halle Berry (probably out on bail next weekend, though) ?
not guilty!
also he killed it in his eastbound and down episodes.
also he killed it in his eastbound and down episodes.
ET:
Not guilty
Not Guilty
Frailty (directed by costar Bill Paxton) is an overlooked gem of a movie. Check it out if you haven't seen it.
Frailty (directed by costar Bill Paxton) is an overlooked gem of a movie. Check it out if you haven't seen it.
Are you kidding??
Definitely not guilty.
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
"Envy the country that has heroes, huh?! I say pity the country that needs 'em. What are you celebrating? One dragon down, three men dead? Oh, yeah. At that rate, we might just be
"Envy the country that has heroes, huh?! I say pity the country that needs 'em. What are you celebrating? One dragon down, three men dead? Oh, yeah. At that rate, we might just be getting somewhere in about 320 years. Is that what you want? You want a little accommodation? Unh-unh. These beasts live on ash. They feed on death. There's no middle ground...not for them, not for us. And sure as hell not for my men who died out there today. But you go ahead. Have your little... soiree. Personally, you disgust me."
Not Guilty
"Rum Tum Tuggernuts, its the Pecker!"
"Rum Tum Tuggernuts, its the Pecker!"
Not Guilty
Not guilty
ARE YOU STONED?
This year we've got "Bernie," "Killer Joe," "Magic Mike," "The Paperboy," and that's just what's been coming out so far. This isn't some coincidence. The man is actually making an effort to turn his career around. Not to mention all the weight he just lost, which will make his
This year we've got "Bernie," "Killer Joe," "Magic Mike," "The Paperboy," and that's just what's been coming out so far. This isn't some coincidence. The man is actually making an effort to turn his career around. Not to mention all the weight he just lost, which will make his shirtless scenes a lot less sexy. Here's an actor who, without the benefit of movie jail, is already turning his life around. There isn't really anyone else on this list who has pulled quite the 180 degree switch like Matt has.
Not Guilty
Also, I don't ever blame people for doing RomComs. It's just a different genre of film.
Also, I don't ever blame people for doing RomComs. It's just a different genre of film.
1,000% Not Guilty
Not Guilty
We are.. Marshall. Go Herd.
We are.. Marshall. Go Herd.
NOT GUILTY
Also, I enjoyed SAHARA quite a bit.
Also, I enjoyed SAHARA quite a bit.