Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…David Goyer!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

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This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

Da Vinci's Demons David Goyer

The Case

The Prosecution: Man of Steel, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, The Unborn, Jumper, The Invisible, Blade: Trinity, Zig Zag, The Crow: City of Angels  

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution wanted to wait until after the release of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice before putting David Goyer up for Movie Jail, but since some of you have been pushing for it lately, we've decided to move forward with a case against the filmmaker.

Mr. Goyer has done solid work as a writer and ideas man, but he's also had several misses. He wrote the original screenplays for Jumper and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which were both profitable projects, however critics weren't exactly thrilled with either movie.

Many people also believe that Mr. Goyer has received way too much credit for his involvement with The Dark Knight trilogy since his solo work has been less impressive. Mr. Goyer had Christopher and Jonathan Nolan to bounce ideas off of while working on the series, but he wrote the Man of Steel screenplay by himself, which received very mixed reviews from critics and fans. In addition, the prosecution hasn't been impressed with Mr. Goyer's directorial efforts. The Unborn and The Invisible are both below 25% at Rotten Tomatoes, and he's responsible for directing the worst installment in the Blade trilogy.

The prosecution isn't seeking a life sentence since we have enjoyed some of Mr. Goyer's work on comic book movies and genre films, but we do believe he deserves to go to prison, at least for a couple of months.

David Goyer

The Defense: Man of Steel, The Dark Knight trilogy, Blade 2, Blade, Dark City

Ladies and gentlemen, it's easy to blame my client for projects like Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, but that's not exactly fair, now is it? Mr. Goyer wrote the script for that movie with Scott Gimple and Seth Hoffman, and Jim Uhls and Simon Kinberg both did rewrites for Jumper. While the defense isn't trying to claim Mr. Goyer hasn't had a few misfires, it's not as if he is completely responsible for those films' less than stellar reviews from critics.

You could argue that my client has a slightly spotty track record, but is it so bad that we need to lock Mr. Goyer up? The defense doesn't believe so. Besides his The Dark Knight series credits, Mr. Goyer also co-wrote the Dark City script, and penned the screenplays for the first two Blade movies. Some (like the prosecution) thought Man of Steel was garbage, however there are plenty of people who really liked the Superman film.

Mr. Goyer has also done a bunch of work for the small screen (FlashForward, Da Vinci's Demons, Constantine), and although none of his series have received critical acclaim, they're still pretty decent shows.

My client might be at his best when he's working with someone on a project instead of flying solo, but that doesn't mean we should to toss him in prison.

David Goyer


Does the good outweigh the bad when it comes to Mr. Goyer's movies, or do you believe he needs to spend some time behind bars? Have you forgiven him for Blade: Trinity, or was his Man of Steel script the last straw? Is filmmaker David Goyer GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?

*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.


David Goyer


Ben Barnes

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and Seventh Son actor Ben Barnes was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, and most of the jury didn't take too kindly to the prosecution putting Mr. Barnes up for Movie Jail. Several jury members said the prosecution should be going after more famous actors, and some also said they'd like to see a bit more from Mr. Barnes since he's still pretty young.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes

UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock


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