De Niro, Kutcher, Hilary Swank and Michelle Pfeiffer join New Year’s Eve

Producers are looking to begin filming on NEW YEAR’S EVE, the follow-up to VALENTINE’S DAY, this December in New York City on New Year’s Eve so they’re ramping up casting on the A-list heavy project. Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank and Ashton Kutcher are the latest actors to join the project, which already counts Lea Michele and Abigail Breslin as stars.

De Niro will play a man dying in the hospital (um….Happy New Year’s?…), Pfeiffer a secretary quickly attempting to fulfill all her New Year’s resolutions before midnight, Swank a producer of a big TV telecast and Kutcher a guy who hates New Year’s Eve. It’s unclear whether Kutcher will be playing the same character he played in VALENTINE’S DAY because if he’s not ohmygod the continuity will be ruined! (Also, who hates New Year’s Eve? It doesn’t require much other than an interest in staying up a little late and have a few drinks. If you don’t like that, you probably don’t like Saturdays either.)

Now I know no one wants to hear my retarded ideas for an already retarded movie but hear me out: they should totally cast Ryan Seacrest as himself. Like make Ryan Seacrest one of the characters. Because he hosts the Dick Clark Rockin’ New Year’s Eve or whatever the f*ck it’s called now and that would be totally self-referential and funny and OMG they got the real Ryan Seacrest but he’s playing himself as an unlucky in love and lonely TV host and isn’t that so cute!! End scene.