Director: Harald Zwart
Writer: Stan Seidel
Producers: Michael Douglas, Allison Lyon Segan
Liv Tyler as Jewel Valentine, Matt Dillon as Randy, John Goodman as Detective Dehling
And if caring or at least relating or understanding the characters wasn’t this film’s prime motivation, than I guess laughs was on top of its list, right? Wrong! Other than Paul Reiser, who really did play an excellent arrogant bastard, most of the film relied on very light humor, which didn’t really get along with my funny bone. And how can anyone take Andrew Dice Clay seriously in any role that he plays nowadays? I mean, geez, “Look honey, it’s Andrew Dice Clay in a beard!” Tick-tock. And I’ll even go as far as to give the director some props for quite a bit of slick style early on in the film, with some nice camera tricks, fades and fantasy sequences, but once the movie got going, it seemed like much of it just rattled out into neutral. Yeah sure, the flick definitely woke me up during its last ten minutes, with a pretty funky shoot-out (an obvious homage to TRUE ROMANCE) and a nice touch via The Village People’s “YMCA” playing off in the background. But alas, for me, this dog was put to sleep quite some time before that. So is it a bad movie? No, not necessarily…but it ain’t much of anything else either. Little laughs, little skin, little drama and little interest in any of the characters drowned me out of this one about halfway to the finish line. Now I think it’s time for another drink!