Serving Sara

A process server must “serve” divorce papers to a lady who shocked by her husband’s request for divorce asks the man to serve her husband instead, so that the divorce settlement can take place in a state other than Texas, because she wouldn’t get much money from him there. Aaaaaawww, isn’t that sweet? Think of it as TITANIC…but without the water or the big boat. A bad movie ensues.

If I wanted to watch an overly tanned dude with a double-chin cracking wise every couple of minutes (without much success), I’d just watch myself in the mirror for an hour and a half and save myself the lousy bucks that I spent on this lousy movie. And if I wanted to see the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley strutting around in a short Catholic schoolgirl’s skirt and cowboy boots (which I did!), I’d either rent BEDAZZLED again (not as bad as this garbage) or check out any of the zillion website photo galleries dedicated to the curvaceous lady with the golden smile (and top-notch boobs!) Either way, if I wanted to watch a good movie, I’d skip this piece of crud because it doesn’t deliver in laughs, it doesn’t deliver in story or rhythm, it doesn’t deliver in acting, it doesn’t deliver in chemistry, it doesn’t deliver in reality, romance or plot cohesion…basically, it doesn’t fuckin’ deliver in much! So if “fun”, “laughs” and “entertainment” are what you prefer in your comedies, skip this turd and pick your nose instead because you’re sure to get more out of the latter experience. Sure, the premise is somewhat interesting, but what’s the use of having a decent premise if all you’re gonna do is fill it with major plot holes, fart jokes, cow ass fistings, and plenty, and I mean plenty of lame, lame humor. Now I kinda like Matthew Perry in real life, he seems to have that natural sense of humor and sarcasm about him, but what the heck was he thinking when he took on this sinking ship? (word on the street is that production on the film was halted for two months so that Perry could enter a rehab center for his own “issues”-which might explain his signing on to it in the first place, I suppose).

Hurley, well…she too was apparently going through her own shite at the time, so maybe she too lost her capacity to judge the “funny” during this period. She does do a great job of walking around in tight leather pants, tiny tops and delivering hopelessly lifeless lines to her screen partners though. I never thought that she was a “bad actress” per se, but in this movie…well, brrrrrrr! As for Bruce Campbell…yes, boys and girls, THE Bruce Campbell from our beloved EVIL DEAD series, makes a complete ass of himself and the horse that he rode in on. Seriously, the man shouldn’t necessarily be ashamed of cashing the big check, which I hope he received for this dung heap, but he should be ashamed of being a part of this pile of dog poo-poo in the first place (sorry folks, I’m trying to be as “insightful” as I can with this review, but when it’s crap…it’s crap!) What else? The directing is also static, the few “prat gags” are beyond idiotic (“Oh, my God, there are people chasing us in the airport…let’s dive on to this luggage conveyor belt! Ugh!) and the inconsistencies are just plain embarrassing (how Big Pussy from the Sopranos traveled through about four different states within a few measly hours is beyond anyone!) All in all, this film doesn’t give you any reason to give half a shit about any of its so-called characters (the idea of developing a character in this film is to give him a fascination for vineyards), doesn’t give you any reason to be surprised by any of its obvious plot points and most unfortunately, doesn’t give you any reason to laugh! If SAY IT ISN’T SO was your idea of a great comedy, this bull-fisting movie might just be for you!!

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian