Stuck on You

Two grown up Siamese brothers living in a small Massachusetts town make their conjoined living as short order cooks. Then one day, one of the brothers convinces his better half to move out to Hollywood with him, so that he could pursue his dream of becoming an actor. Once there, the duo strive for success, despite their obvious debilitating birth challenge. Lots of jokes about them being stuck together ensue…and work!

First of all, let me get this out of the way: I’m a big fan of Eva Mendes, her acting prowess and her luscious breasts. Phew…I feel better now. As for this movie, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I actually liked it. Despite essentially running on a one-joke premise, it still managed to keep the laughs coming pretty much all the way through with a variety of entertaining predicaments, relationship complications, cameos galore and fun secondary characters. Sure, the film really has no reason to clock in at close to two hours, but I had a blast through most of it and even got to really like, and care about, the two lead characters. Both Kinnear and Damon do excellent jobs as the lead twins, and provide them with, not only plenty of moments of hilarity through Siamese humor (although I can see how some people might get sick of that one lead joke), but a few tender moments as well. Thankfully, the film knows not to overplay its “emotional card”, but puts enough of it out there in order for us to care about the two brothers, whose obvious mutual affection ultimately turns into the film’s cornerstone. Kudos to both actors for going through physical heck to play their characters and for portraying them brilliantly “straight”. I really got into these guys. I personally believe that the reason this film works so well is because the one-joke about them being conjoined is consistently kept fresh, while the screenplay also delivers two well-rounded best friends/brothers to boot. In other words, you don’t need to be joined at the hip to “get” these guys.

I laughed aloud during several scenes in this film and chuckled through most of the rest, although its final act did lose a bit of its steam. I have to throw props out to most of the secondary characters as well including and especially, the new love of my life, Eva Mendes, who plays one of the most adorable ditzes this side of Jessica Simpson. Girlfriend…appelle moi! Cher was also surprisingly believable as the bitch with a capital “C” (not my joke, it’s from the film) and obviously knows enough not to take herself too seriously. Meryl Streep also has a memorable part in the movie (I won’t ruin it for you here), while Wen Yah Shih is also cute and convincing as Damon’s Internet connection. The pacing of the film also worked with all of the basic background stuff covered early on in their small town, while things get jazzed up once the boys hit Hollywood. The story didn’t require two hours of film though (someone’s gotta get these brothers a good editor) and some of the side-stuff didn’t work all that well on me, like the mentally challenged busboy, the seemingly never-ending musical number, the man who kept hitting his buddy across the head and the old-school Hollywood agent- a tired joke at this point. But overall, I had a blast watching Eva Mendes’ boobs, oops, I mean…breasts and enjoyed the film’s consistent humor, fun characters and peppy pacing. A perfect date movie for anyone who wants to laugh and leave their brains at the door for a couple of hours.

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian