Director: Peter Hyams
Writer: Gene Quintano
Producers: Moshe Diamant
Justin Chambers as D’Artagnan, Mena Suvari as Constance Bonacieux, Tim Roth as Febre
The editing is also pretty shoddy in this movie, the dialogue banal and stilted and the plot problems…plentiful! (why does the guy on top of the horse carriage just stand there when his opponent takes forever scampering his way back to the top? why don’t they just cut the mouseketeer’s rope at the top of the tower, instead of jumping down on their own chords and fighting him while hanging? why doesn’t anybody look a day older, when the sequence says “14 years later”? (at least…change your shirt, man!) Keep in mind that I have never strayed away from championing certain movies that are created simply for the sake of a “fun time”, but this flick just didn’t cut it for me. It was boring for stretches, the acting was atrocious at times (the “romantic” scene between Suvari and Chambers next to the lake reminded me of plays in high school which made you cringe), there was little reason to care for anyone and since when were the Musketeers fat?
I will give the movie this much, and that is that its main reason for being (its “raison-d’etre”, as the French would say), its fight sequences, do come through despite the lack of their numbers in the film. I was hoping that the movie would be packed with cool stuntwork as promoted in its trailer, but what you see there, are essentially the snippets from the two major (and cool) swashbuckling sequences from the film. The first comes right at the beginning of the movie, while the other essentially finishes the film off, hanging from the tower and juggling off ladders. The ladder sequence itself is a definite keeper but unfortunately the rest of the movie is just regurgitated crap. And can anyone please tell me how Catherine Deneuve got her name placed at the top of this film’s credits? Hullo? The film is called THE MUSKETEER and stars a dude name Justin Chambers. Deneuve is barely in this movie! Ugh, just another small thing that annoyed me about this trash.
Now say it together, gang: “All for one, and one for all…we vow to stay away from it all!!” Thank me later.