Urban Legends: Final Cut

A bunch of college film students are completing their own movie projects with the hopes of winning the prestigious Hitchcock award, a prize which apparently leads directly to the riches of Hollywood. Suddenly, many of them start dropping like flies, as a mysterious killer begins his swatting. Will they live to finish their films? Will they ever figure out who the killer really is? Will Joey Lawrence ever make us forget all about “Blossom”? Find out below…

A fun opening scene leads to a great opening murder which eventually leads to one of the stupidest movies of the year. That’s right, people. Stupid…just plain dumb! There were so many cool ways in which this film could have gone, but for some reason or another, the filmmakers decided to start off strong and then jump right into yet another pile of heaping teen slasher absurdity. It’s funny because if there was one thing that everyone agreed on about the first film, it was the fact that the mystery of the murderer was so ridiculous, so “out there”, that it reinforced much of the idiocy that came before it. Well, apparently nobody from this production decided to take any lessons away from the first go-around, and seriously mucked this one up even larger. I get the feeling that these screenwriters sit around thinking, “Who do you think is the one person which people would LEAST suspect? Okay, let’s go with that then!” Uhhhm, okay that’s fine fellas, but you know that it also has to make a little bit of sense, don’t you? Just a little bit…c’mon…please!!

The sad part is that the first half hour of this movie is actually pretty good. It has some tense moments, funny moments, an exciting murder sequence that should gross anybody out, and a decent little premise set in a perfect place to develop a great story (film sets). Unfortunately for the audience, that’s where the “good” part of the movie ends. About half an hour into the film, a character just happens to “pop into” the picture and pretty much designates the exact spot at which the film ricochets into a downward spiral of implausibility, predictability and just plain stupidity.

It was as if another director suddenly took over from the guy who started. This second director might’ve been a fan of soap operas in his day, but that’s another story. And that’s when the “idiot moves” begin. Girl being chased, runs into a forest. Good move. Girl being chased again, runs up a million steps to get to the roof. Uhhhm, and that’s gonna help you…how? And since when is there nobody, and I mean NOBODY else on a huge campus such as theirs!? I dare any of you to show me one other student who shows up anywhere in this film! It’s just so sad, so ridiculous and just so stupid. But don’t fault the actors. They all actually do decent jobs with what they have to work with, especially Jennifer Morrison who gives a solid performance, and even Joey, oops, Joseph Lawrence who comes out of this one, unscathed. The problem is the script, the script and the script! Half an hour in, the plot is shot up like Swiss cheese and even though I was hoping for some kind of “twist ending” to save it all, all I got was a “twist ending” so completely out of left field, that it just had me laughing out loud. In fact, pretty much everyone in the audience was laughing at the last 30 minutes of this film. Not sure if that was the idea, but that’s what happened here and deservedly so. Oh yeah, and the soundtrack was also non-existent (the teens will love that, Mr. Filmmaker, good move!). I can’t say much more, but there it is. Check out the first half hour, then walk out and get your money back. Trust me, you’ll have seen all that you need to see.

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian