Will Paramount make a Magic 8-Ball movie? “You may rely on it”

Wait, wait, wait… this can’t be right. I happen to have a Magic 8-Ball right here on my desk. Like I did with “Will Emily Blunt dump that toad John Krasinski and get with studly me instead?”, I will ask yet again: “Is a f*cking Hollywood studio really going to make a big-budget film adaptation of a f*cking MAGIC 8-BALL???”

Magic 8-Ball says: “That’s right, bitch!” ARGH!

Deadline’s Mike Fleming reports that Paramount has – get this – “extended its business with Mattel, optioning the venerable Magic 8 Ball to use as the basis for a live action adventure film.” Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or the three shots of Vodka I just had, but this is registering as the craziest, most retarded thing I’ve read in a very long time (well, maybe not that long). This makes Peter Berg’s adaptation of BATTLESHIP seem reasonable.

The studio has tasked Jon Gunn and John Mann (ALCATRAZ VS. THE EVIL LIBRARIANS, MERCY STREETS) to write the script. I bid you sirs good luck.

A little info on the ball: Created in 1946 by Albert Carter, the son of a supposed clairvoyant, the Magic 8-Ball contains 20 preset answers etched onto a 20-sided die. You shake the ball, ask a question that’s usually absurd, and you get an answer that you most likely didn’t want. Rinse, repeat.