Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Vince Vaughn!

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a

Movie Jail

trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the


is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant

Vince Vaughn

The Case

The Prosecution: Fred Claus, Four Christmases, Couples Retreat, The Dilemma, The Watch.*

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, how much more mediocrity can we endure from Mr. Vaughn? Let’s face it, the man has been serving entree portions of

roast shit in the form of the above movies for years, and it doesn’t look like the shit sandwiches will stop anytime soon. Since 2005’s Wedding Crashers, he’s had only one movie with a Fresh Tomato rating, 2007’s Into the Wild, which was more

Emile Hirsch’s movie than Vaughn’s. For a guy who started out his career with such promise and potential, how can we let Mr. Vaughn continue down this path? And if

the last few years are any indication as to the path Mr. Vaughn is walking, what can we expect in the future?

The Defense: Swingers, Made, Clay Pigeons, Old School, Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball.*

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, the defense makes no excuse for Couples Retreat or the dreadful Fred Claus. Homeboy’s gotta eat. But really, all Mr.

Vaughn has had is a bad couple of years. Yes, he hasn’t had a huge audience favorite hit since Wedding Crashers, but let’s look at what he’s done in his

career. Of course Swingers put him on the map, and we all know and love his turns in Old School and Anchorman. But what’s important to note is

his dramatic work in Clay Pigeons, The Locusts, and though the movie isn’t considered great, his Norman Bates performance in the Psycho remake is. This just goes to show that he still has potential to win us over dramatically, and the defense sees this as definitely possible.

Shit, even his turn in The Cell wasn’t too bad. And if you’re ever in a bar fight, there’s no better dude to have on your side than the 6’5 Vince Vaughn. The defense sees these charges as frivolous

considering what the man has brought to the silver screen, and moves for a not guilty verdict on all charges.


So, what’s to be done with Mr. Vince Vaughn? Do we accept mediocrity in this courtroom? Can we forgive mediocrity? Are Mr. Vaughn’s crimes really


that bad or is he just having a bad couple of years? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into

consideration, we ask

you The Jury, is Vince Vaughn GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.



It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing last week’s evidence, the court finds Mr. Val Kilmer

NOT GUILTY of all charges. The jury carefully detailed their love and respect for Mr. Kilmer and his career, and feels that with the right project, he can

reclaim his rightful spot on the A list. But we’re watching you, Iceman.


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