Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Gwyneth Paltrow!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: Thanks for Sharing, Country Strong, The Good Night, Running With Scissors, Sylvia, View from the Top, Bounce, Duets, A Perfect Murder, Hush, The Pallbearer, Moonlight and Valentino, Jefferson in Paris

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you can probably tell from past trials the prosecution has high expectations for those who win Oscars, and since winning one for Shakespeare in Love, Gwyneth Paltrow's career hasn't exactly taken off like many thought it would. In fact, since winning the Best Actress Oscar, Miss Paltrow has appeared in several questionable or straight up bad films. Yeah, we're looking at you View from the Top and Country Strong.

Besides starring in mostly mediocre projects post-Shakespeare in Love, Miss Paltrow has also lately only had small roles in films, or has been cast as part of an ensemble cast. That's fine when it's a movie like Contagion, but Running With Scissors and The Good Night? Eh, not so much. Fanboys will likely argue she was fine as Pepper Potts in the Iron Man flicks, but it's still Robert Downey Jr.'s show, and almost any other actress could have been cast in the role with the same results.

It's frustrating because Miss Paltrow is a solid actress with decent range, but she often just doesn't pick good projects to work on. Although she has taken time off in the past so she can focus on raising her kids, there are plenty of other actors and actresses with children who still manage to find great roles in fantastic films, and it's not like that's the only reason why she's been appearing in movies like Thanks for Sharing.

The prosecution isn't looking to throw the book at Miss Paltrow, however we do believe she needs to spend a couple of months in Movie Jail.

The Defense: Iron Man movies, Contagion, Two Lovers, Proof, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Possession, The Royal Tenenbaums, Shallow Hal, The Anniversary Party, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Shakespeare in Love, Great Expectations, Sliding Doors, Hard Eight, Seven, Flesh and Bone

Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution's argument about my client's roles as of late is asinine. Miss Paltrow doesn't always appear in the best films, but sending her to prison seems a bit harsh. It's not like she's been mailing in her performances, or only appearing in rom-coms like a few of the other actresses who have been up for Movie Jail.

The prosecution forgets Miss Paltrow was also nominated for a Golden Globe in 2005 for Proof, and the defense believes all it would take is one great role to remind people she is still an outstanding actress. Miss Paltrow may not star in films that do the best job of showcasing her talents, but she's not a bad actress.

Miss Paltrow might not appear in that many films anymore because she wants to spend time with her children, however she's also been very busy with other projects unrelated to movies, like her online newsletter Goop. At least she's trying new things instead of taking whatever role comes her way just to pay the bills. Miss Paltrow is an actress, but she's also much more than that as well.

Maybe some people are disappointed with Miss Paltrow's most recent movies, but not the defense. We believe she's doing what she wants to do, which means not appearing in 3 to 4 movies every year. Perhaps if she is only going to star in a film every now and then she should be a little more careful when picking projects to work on, but the defense doesn't think she's done anything to deserve Movie Jail.


Do you think Miss Paltrow should be locked up in Movie Jail, or is the prosecution just nitpicking the actress' most recent movies and roles? Should we expect more from her because of her Oscar win, or do you believe she's done great work since winning the award? Is Gwyneth Paltrow GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



Although it's been a long time since Rob Reiner directed a truly great movie, he was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial because of his tremendous older films. Most jury members understood why he was being considered for Movie Jail, but since he has directed so many classic movies, they said he definitely deserves a free pass for his less than stellar recent films.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner


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