Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Susan Sarandon!

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: Tammy, The Big Wedding, That's My Boy, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, The Lovely Bones, Middle of Nowhere, Speed Racer, Mr. Woodcock, Irresistible, Alfie, Noel, The Banger Sisters, The January Man

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Susan Sarandon has received five Academy Award nominations during her career (and won one for her performance in Dead Man Walking), so why has she lately been appearing in projects below her talents? Critics have been having a field day with her Tammy, but it's only the most recent example of a terrible film featuring the actress. Miss Sarandon also co-starred with two Movie Jail convicts (Katherine Heigl and Diane Keaton) in The Big Wedding, and appeared in the Adam Sandler bomb That's My Boy.

Miss Sarandon also has a habit of almost always playing someone's mom or wife, and many times the parts have been small and underdeveloped, like in Noel, The Lovely Bones, and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Don't you think an Academy Award winning actress should be able to land meatier roles? Miss Sarandon is a talented actress, however you wouldn't know it from the weak and uninspiring roles she's had in some of her most recent films.

The prosecution doesn't want to see Miss Sarandon end up like poor Diane Keaton, but we're afraid she will if she continues to star in garbage like Tammy and The Big Wedding. We just want her to try a little harder to find better roles and projects, and the prosecution believes spending some time in Movie Jail will help the actress realize she's been kind of coasting these past few years.

The Defense: The Company You Keep, Cloud Atlas, Robot & Frank, Jeff Who Lives at Home, Peacock, The Greatest, Solitary Man, Enchanted, Shall We Dance?, Igby Goes Down, Cradle Will Rock, Dead Man Walking, The Client, Little Women, Lorenzo's Oil, Thelma & Louise, Bill Durham, The Hunger, The Witches of Eastwick, Atlantic City, Pretty Baby, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution's claim my client has been "coasting" is ridiculous. Besides appearing in classics like Thelma & Louise and Bull Durham, Miss Sarandon tends to find interesting projects to work on, and that goes all the way back to her first few films.

Although the prosecution believes Miss Sarandon has played the same type of character a few too many times, the defense feels that's not an accurate description of my client's roles as of late, and it's not as if she has only starred in rom-coms or chick flicks like one would expect from an older actress. Instead, she has appeared in everything from big budget and indie sci-fi flicks (Cloud Atlas, Robot & Frank) to dramas (The Greatest) and thrillers (The Company You Keep). Miss Sarandon has also proved she can be very funny on the big screen with films like Jeff, Who Lives at Home and Igby Goes Down.

My client sometimes only has a small part in a film, however she can do a lot with a limited amount of screen time. In addition, Miss Sarandon has also done a ton of work involving documentaries, and because of that, the defense thinks the actress just likes to stay busy.

At 67, Miss Sarandon is still a great actress and her filmography isn't nearly as bad as some of the other actresses who have been up for Movie Jail. My client has appeared in a few awful movies, but the defense doesn't think she deserves to go to prison for them, and believes the jury will agree.


What should we do with Tim Robbins' ex? Should we lock the actress up, or let her walk? Have you been disappointed with her movies and roles as of late, or do you think her career is doing just fine? Is Susan Sarandon GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



Some jury members said they think the level of hate for Michael Bay's Transformers series is getting a little silly in last week's trial, however most of you agreed with the prosecution, and Transformers: Age of Extinction screenwriter Ehren Kruger has been found GUILTY of all charges. Locking Mr. Kruger up with Michael Bay would only give the two filmmakers plenty of time to work on Transformers 5, so instead we're going to stick him in a cell with Shia LaBeouf. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment…


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento


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