Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Al Pacino!
Feb. 18, 2013
The Defendant
Al Pacino
The Case
The Prosecution: 88 Minutes, The Son of No One, Jack and Jill, Righteous Kill, Gigli, People I Know, S1mone*
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, back when we put the legendary Robert De Niro on trial, it was brought up more than once in the comments section that De Niro's mighty peer, Al Pacino, be brought up on trial. After many months recovering from putting one of our heroes on trial (De Niro was found NOT GUILTY), we're ready to tackle the evidence of Mr. Pacino's case. It's safe to say, that Mr. Pacino's choice in films over the last ten years or so have been less than stellar. It looks like the trouble started at the turn of the century, with 2002's awfully bad (not even good) S1mone. But the famed actor planted his feet firmly in shit in 2007 when he started taking less movie roles. That year brought the forgettable 88 Minutes and the so so Oceans 13, a movie we didn't put on the prosecution list simply because it has a Fresh Rating for both critics and audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. 2008's only contribution was Righteous Kill, a movie with quite possibly the worst dialogue ever written for two of the greatest living actors. But the nation collectively groaned at 2011's Jack and Jill trailer which starred Movie Jail inmate Adam Sandler and.....Adam Sandler! Yuck. How'd Mr. Pacino get roped into this? More than one person has suggested that Mr. Pacino be thrown into Movie Jail for this infraction alone, and while that's a bit harsh, he hasn't given audiences what he usually does for some time now. But we think it's justified.
The Defense: 95% of the movies prior to 2000*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, here we go again. The defense still finds it silly that we're being called to defend legendary actors like Mr. Pacino, who's created some of the most memorable characters, in some of the most memorable movies of all time. Like Mr. De Niro, we feel that the case against Mr. Pacino, with all its trumped up charges, simply does not outweigh the amount of good movies the man has given us over the last 40 years. 40 fucking years! Does the jury mean to tell the court that 10 of the 40 years is enough to convict Mr. Pacino? We can't defend his latest movie choices (though Stand Up Guys was decent), but let's give the guy a break over here. We're talking about Michael Corleone here. Tony Montana....Sonny Wortzik....Arthur Kirkland....Motherfucking Serpico yo!
IN CLOSING...
So, what’s to be done with Al Pacino? Can this legendary actor really be thrown into Movie Jail? Is he allowed to have a few bad years because of all the classic films he's been involved in? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Al Pacino GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
It is the jury's decision that after reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Katherine Heigl GUILTY of all charges. Not only was she found SO guilty, it was suggested that Ms. Heigl be hanged in the town center, sentenced to have constant sex with Brett Ratner, or simply, do all of the facility's laundry. We'll settle for topless window washing.
| Extra Tidbit: | Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below! |
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| Source: | JoBlo.com |
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not guilty
what? Not guilty
Not Guilty and request this case be stricken from the record.
Not guilty
Sure he's made some shitty movies lately (Righteous Kill was a steaming pile), but his good movies faaaaaar outweigh his bad. Good Lord, the man has several classics under his belt. There are very few actors alive today who carry that distinction.
Sure he's made some shitty movies lately (Righteous Kill was a steaming pile), but his good movies faaaaaar outweigh his bad. Good Lord, the man has several classics under his belt. There are very few actors alive today who carry that distinction.
You just CANT
Not Guilty
Pacino... I guess it goes against the point of this column but even after that abominable Jack & Jill music video in which he slaps his career in the face repeatedly, I cannot bring myself to vote against Michael, Sonny, Serpico, etcetera... eternally not guilty, despite it all!
Pacino... I guess it goes against the point of this column but even after that abominable Jack & Jill music video in which he slaps his career in the face repeatedly, I cannot bring myself to vote against Michael, Sonny, Serpico, etcetera... eternally not guilty, despite it all!
Tough pick
Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Prosecute Jeff Goldblum next.
Prosecute Jeff Goldblum next.
GUILTY!!!!
NOT GUILTY
Anyone see him in Merchant of Venice?
Anyone see him in Merchant of Venice?
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not guilty
Not guilty
Not Guilty
Not guilty.
not guilty
EDIT - Take it back, Insomnia was his last good one.
EDIT - Take it back, Insomnia was his last good one.
NOT GUILTY
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Next: John Woo.
Next: John Woo.
NOT GUILTY
Next week: Keanu Reeves, Shia Lebouf, or Cuba Gooding Jr.
Next week: Keanu Reeves, Shia Lebouf, or Cuba Gooding Jr.
Not Guilty
Not Guilty!
Seth Rogen next? He seems quite polarizing on here.
Seth Rogen next? He seems quite polarizing on here.
Not Guilty
Attica! Attica!
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty, find other for this Segment
Not Guilty
I think Owen Wilson, Mark Wahlberg, Mike Myers, and Cameron Diaz
I think Owen Wilson, Mark Wahlberg, Mike Myers, and Cameron Diaz should be forthcoming defendants.
Not Guilty!
Not Guilty
Immunity from prosecution
Not guilty by reason of temporary insanity for jack and jill
I think...
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Next Defendant: Owen Wilson. I actually like this dude I just think it's his turn now.
Next Defendant: Owen Wilson. I actually like this dude I just think it's his turn now.
He gets a pass
Innocent
I blame Adam Sandler 100% for
I blame Adam Sandler 100% for Jack and Jill. I mean, if we're honest with ourselves, condemning an actor for being in a Sandler movie means Steve Buscemi and John Turturro are eligible for life-sentences. Sandler makes crap movies that make money. Pacino is still an actor willing to go that extra mile, but nobody making theatrical films wants to hire him for that. And since there's a huge incentive to get a return off that kind of movie, settling for Premium Cable ain't a bad substitute.
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Extra Tidbit
has been doing the same movie for years.
has been doing the same movie for years.
Its been as painful to watch as seeing Bobby Orr playing for the Blackhawks with no knees. He's Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood movies. If he keeps it up he'll be a further danger to his own legacy and of those around him.
Guilty.
Its been as painful to watch as seeing Bobby Orr playing for the Blackhawks with no knees. He's Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood movies. If he keeps it up he'll be a further danger to his own legacy and of those around him.
Guilty.
Not Guilty
He's Al Fuckin Pachino.
No way.
He's Al Fuckin Pachino.
No way.
Guilty.
Innocent
Innocent
Not Guilty
Innocent
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Not Guilty
Innocent
Not Guilty
But as of now this man is an acting legend and a few bad movies won't hurt his career.
But as of now this man is an acting legend and a few bad movies won't hurt his career.
Innocent