Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Michelle Rodriguez!

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: InAPPropriate Comedy, Resident Evil: Retribution, Battle: Los Angeles, Avatar, Battle in Seattle, The Breed, BloodRayne, Resident Evil

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Michelle Rodriguez is a beautiful actress known for her "badass chick" roles in movies like Girlfight and the Fast & Furious series, but the prosecution is a little sick of her playing essentially the same character in 99% of her films, and her filmography isn't too hot either.

Miss Rodriguez is at her best when she's got a gun in her hand and a pissed off look on her face, and the prosecution isn't going to try and argue she should completely change who she is as an actress. That'd be like trying to tell Jason Statham to stop being so bald and British in all of his films. But it would be nice if she at least attempted something different every now and then, and maybe if she did she would be able to find better roles.

The problem with Miss Rodriguez is every performance from her feels the same. One could argue it's because she hasn't had a lot to work with in some of these films (Battle: Los Angeles, Avatar), but perhaps she would land meatier roles if she used the other skills in her actress toolbox besides her amazing bitch face. Although Miss Rodriguez has been described as "arguably the most iconic actress in the action genre," most of Miss Rodriguez's roles and movies haven't been iconic or memorable.

Miss Rodriguez is incredibly hot, that's a given, but the prosecution is hoping the jury will be able to look past her looks and realize she does need to spend some time in Movie Jail.

The Defense: Fast & Furious 6, Machete Kills, Turbo, Machete, Fast & Furious, S.W.A.T., Blue Crush, The Fast and The Furious, Girlfight

Ladies and gentlemen, other action movie stars have made careers out of playing tough characters, so why can't my client? Miss Rodriguez has even said in the past she has no problems with typecasting.

If I decided I didn't want to be typecast tomorrow, I'd just do an indie film where I play some poor girl who goes through some excruciating experience and win myself an award for crying or being raped. But at the end of the day, I'm not in it for the acting. I only wanna be someone I respect or someone that I consider interesting or fun. I'm here to entertain people and make a statement about female empowerment and strength, and that's what I've done for the last 10 years. I pigeonholed myself and I put myself in that box by saying no to everything else that came on my plate. Saying no to this, no to that, and eventually I just got left with the strong chick that's always being killed, and there's nothing wrong with that.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but my client isn't giving herself enough credit. She was tough as nails in the Machete flicks, but also very funny, and although InAPPropriate Comedy is terrible, she was pretty solid in it. Does my client have a huge amount of range? Probably not, but she knows her limits as an actress, and also knows exactly what type of movies her fans what to see her in on the big screen. The prosecution thinks it would be good for her career if she spread her wings a bit, but the defense feels it would actually hurt her career instead. If Hollywood needs an actress to play a military or law enforcement type, guess who they call? Not Meryl Streep.

Playing badass characters has worked for Miss Rodriguez, and as they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If the prosecution doesn't like my client's performances or her films, that's his problem, because there are plenty of us who love Miss Rodriguez.


Do you agree with the prosecutions, or is he a complete fool for trying to send Miss Rodriguez to Movie Jail? Should she try playing different types of characters, or do you think she's just doing what male action stars have been doing for decades? Is Michelle Rodriguez GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



The jury sided with the defense in last week's trial, declaring producer Joel Silver NOT GUILTY of all charges. Mr. Silver is a free man because of the many classic action movie franchises he helped produce through his Silver Pictures, however jury members also said it was hard to blame a producer (most of the time) if a movie is bad, and didn't want to toss Mr. Silver in prison for someone else's mistakes.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver


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