Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…Rob Reiner!

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Movie Jail

This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.

The Defendant

The Case

The Prosecution: And So It Goes, The Magic of Belle Isle, The Bucket List, Rumor Has It, Alex & Emma, The Story of Us, North

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this trial could be called "The Tale of Two Rob Reiners." One was behind the camera for classics like This Is Spinal Tap, The Princess Bride and Misery, while the other has spent too much time involved with politics, and as a result the quality of his movies has suffered. From 1984 to 1992 almost everything Mr. Reiner touched turned to gold, however his films since then have been incredibly disappointing.

How bad has it been for Mr. Reiner? According to Rotten Tomatoes, the closest he's come to directing a fresh movie since 1992 was Flipped with 55%. But that movie is a masterpiece compared to most of his other directing efforts over the past twenty years. Many consider North to be one of the worst movies ever, and Mr. Reiner's The Story of Us, Alex & Emma, Rumor Has It, and The Magic of Belle Isle have all received very negative reviews from critics. And while his The Bucket List may have done well at the box office, critics didn't have great things to say about the film (only 40% at Rotten Tomatoes) and the prosecution didn't care for it either. Mr. Reiner's And So It Goes opened over the weekend, and like other recent films from the director, was also panned by critics.

Although the prosecution and defense are primarily looking at films directed by Mr. Reiner and not his acting roles for this trial, it's kind of sad the best thing Mr. Reiner has done in years was starring as Leonardo DiCaprio's dad in The Wolf of Wall Street. The prosecution understands the jury probably doesn't want lock up the guy who directed movies like Stand By Me and A Few Good Men, however he's also responsible for far too many awful films, and since it's unlikely Mr. Reiner will return to form anytime soon, the prosecution believes he definitely deserves to go to Movie Jail.

The Defense: Flipped, The Bucket List, Ghosts of Mississippi, The American President, A Few Good Men, Misery, When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, Stand By Me, The Sure Thing, This Is Spinal Tap

Ladies and gentlemen, my client's recent films haven't exactly wowed critics, but based on the strength of his older films, the defense thinks it's very unlikely the jury will send him to prison. Mr. Reiner hasn't directed just one or two memorable films, but at least seven with This Is Spinal Tap, The Sure Thing, Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery and A Few Good Men. The American President and Ghosts of Mississippi are also excellent movies from my client, but it's those seven that will probably keep my client out of Movie Jail. Look at this way: do Mr. Reiner's seven best films make up for his seven worst? In the defense's opinion they do, and we believe the jury will agree. And although they might not be as fantastic as his older films, Flipped and The Bucket List are also both very solid movies.

Mr. Reiner's work as a political activist has definitely had a negative impact on his movies though, and the defense is hoping his involvement with politics hasn't annoyed jury members too much. For those of you who just want to toss him in jail for being an anti-smoking advocate should remember this trial should only be about his movies. For the record, my client is fully aware dabbling in politics has hurt his directing career:

People kept asking me, 'How do you balance it?,' and the point is, you don't. I know now, about me: I can't split my attention in that way. It doesn't work. I mean, it shows, to be honest with you. You can't do both.

Maybe my client hasn't done a fantastic job balancing movies and politics, but the defense believes his films from 1984 to 1992 are so strong he shouldn't even be up for Movie Jail. Perhaps he needs to focus more on movies and less on politics, however the defense still believes in Mr. Reiner and his skills as a director.


What should we do with Mr. Reiner and his precious goo? Do you think he is still capable of directing a decent movie, or do believe he's a lost cause? Is Rob Reiner GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?


*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.



Dennis Quaid was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, with many jury members saying although they haven't been impressed with his most recent films, he's still a talented and very likable actor. Hopefully Mr. Quaid will realize he dodged a bullet, and will start picking better projects to work on instead of starring in crap like Playing for Keeps and The Words.


GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock

NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid


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